Hello my friends..............today has been quite a day. I am mentally and physically exhausted.............and sad. The meeting began at 1pm and finished at 3.40pm.......it was very distressing. There was my brother and me, the social worker who put Mum into the home, a head of Social Services, a representative from the group who own the home and the Matron of the home. There were so many things said, it got quite heated at times, it was very distressing. The Matron produced some photos of Mums poor foot (gangrene) she showed a photo she said was taken on the day Mum was admitted into the home. The photo showed 5 black toes and half a black foot. Mum went into the home with two black toes and a pink foot, it was seen that day by the social worker who was at the meeting, she told the Matron this. The Matron insisted the photo as taken on day one, the proof was she had written the date on the back! To cut a very long story short the finding was they believed the home had carried out the nursing care to a satisfactory standard, the fact that they had totally ignored the the nursing care instructions from the hospital vascular team was not their fault apparently because the say they were never given any instruction. Mums care folder was handed to the Matron by the social worker in Mums house. They said although they knew the leg was not to be bandaged they had to because flies were settling on it and I was upsetting Mum. They never told us the rapid deterioration in Mums foot, they said it wasnt their place to "worry" us and Mum didnt want us to know. All not true. Mum never hid anything from us, ever...........they even said that Mum got very confused at times and had put in her notes that she may be had dementia, never never never...her mind was as sharp as it had always been. They had written down that "the son" said Mum was prone to exaggeration.........................untrue. We talked about watching staff come out of a kitchen with a pyrex jug and tea towel, both used to empty catheters in front of visitors, then returned to the kitchen and probably went down sink. The Matron started to cry at this point and said they still use a pyrex jug but its usually labelled!! I could go on and on, there was so much said, in the end they admitted there were things they needed to address, and said "sorry". It was awful, I started physically shaking .....just like I did the morning Matthew died, the day we were told Harry had stage 4 cancer.................I feel I won a small victory for Mum, and also hopefully for Charlie, Peggy and the others who are still in the home. I got home at 4.15pm tired, hungry and mentally exhausted.......to be asked why it had taken so long by dk! I had gone straight from primary school after my morning with the little ones, no lunch. No cup of tea waiting for me, home and straight in to the kitchen to get some supper on as we had a meeting at 6pm at school about six form. I start cooking and the door bell goes and its Hella my friend with dementia and she is crying...........I end up kneeling by her chair to hold her, she is so scared of what is happening to her. By the time she goes home is too late to eat, my fault apparently for encouraging her to stay. Up to school for the talk etc, 3 dcs not interested, dd who just wanted to go off with her friend and not be with
us and dk who was dying for a g&t................home at 7.45pm, dinner on the table at 8pm, sit down at 8.45pm to watch tv, whilst dk falls blissfully into an alcoholic sleep....................another lovely day.