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[ladymuckbeth]

Here we go. More unexpurgated chat about our darling angels, all of whom are gifted and have exceptionally calm and admirably-coping parents.

Yey for J & for A too rattling!

Sounds like we have similar icky thing here chesti. Poor c hasn't stopped throwing up for 2 days now. It's 11am & she's still asleep & has been since 7 last night. Thought it may be the beginning of chickenpox cos will was chucking up a bit before he got his spots, but not like this!

J is at the worst of his pox. Thought he was getting off lightly cos he was fine to begin with but now worse than will was & poor thing is so sore and fed up.
Happy hols to me!

Am so hopelessly behind with everything, think I'd better just leap in, issue hugs and kisses to all and read back later.

What have you all done re. third birthday parties (those of you at that stage)? Glorious technicolor detail please. Can't afford to hire anywhere so ours will have to be at home and therefore small but want to make it lovely.

Will catch up I promise, miss you all terribly! X

PS am certainly not qualified to dole out tips on potty training as four months on, R still does ALL poos in knickers unless I catch her just in time and plonk her on the loo. Have just this weekend resorted to bribing her with a giant chocolate button per poo which appears to be working. Thinking of getting rid of potties now though as it's just another layer of faff. Unfortunately we don't have a downstairs loo

If you want small and cheap 3rd bday party then I recommend inflicting chickenpox on them. But then i guess that doesn't cover 'lovely' . I took a cake to a play group we go to (el cheapo supremo) & they were made up with that. Then we did safari park / little tea party with just us and the dodgy homemade cake. We might get round to having a little tea party at end of next week once this pox is gone - will give us a chance to show off our almost finished renovations.

We don't have downstairs loo either & have largely gotten rid of the potty - it lives in the boys' room for nighttime use. It's been great tbh. They take themselves off to the loo & shout when they need us. But rather that than empty the potty. Hadn't bargained on getting rid of stair gates yet but took them down for building stuff & it's ok.

Ello gals.

We're back from Scotland. In the thick of it as ever, due in court on Friday and will be facing H. Dreading it.

Re. 3rd birthdays - tarti we had ours at home and I loved it, although I'm not sure I'd recommend for ease and I'm not even sure we saved anything. I just invited our friends who have kids, so there was a wide range of ages, and did little other than pass the parcel, made cakes and had helium balloons. I went a bit overboard and had personalised party bags (from Not on the high street I think) - do NOT copy me and do this... in all the excitement I realised at the 11th hour that I'd forgotten to get the most difficult child of all a party bag with his name on it and fretted about it non-stop. He didn't disappoint me and had a bit of a meltdown about it... I was a bit shocked at seeing older children there because they were obviously SO much more savvy about the whole party thing and were requesting their party bags early, whining about a lack of games, and telling me at what point we should be singing happy birthday. All that along with entertaining the parents with mulled wine and canapes and I was a wreck after 3 hours. My mother tells me it gets inordinately easier when the parents don't also attend because then you're only trying to cater for one set of needs rather than two.

We're also finally out of nappies (yayay) - issues at home had rather delayed things - I have just been too stressed to give it my proper attention. We still have poo issues, but although E was really late in taking to it at all, as soon as she 'got it' she was also dry overnight.

Christ. Good luck tomorrow mucky, will be thinking of you.

Well done to lovely Cerub too for battling on.

Your party for J and E sounds lovely Mucks. Our little house couldn't cope with the volume of people unless the weather was lovely (!) and we could be guaranteed to pile out into the garden.. Think we'll do a family meet up in Harrogate (midway between us all) on the Saturday and maybe a tiny brunch party for a v few local pals on the Sunday morning.

ALL are yours all better now? Is there no end to it all?!

Have applied for 3 jobs in Sheffield and had formal mortgage offer so it is really happening. Just hope we can keep our buyer sweet as we don't ideally want to actually move until July...

Will be thinking of you tomorrow mucky. Hope it goes well.

Fingers crossed for your job applications too tarti

Things going well here. Work a bit better - mostly due to me being determined to not getcaught up in stuff, and just keep my head down and do what I can, but take my lunch break and leave on time and stop killing myself covering for everyone.

Well done to all the potty trained kiddies.

Blimey Mucky. Good luck, whatever the aim is tomorrow. I hope it's a useful session as I understand they can be immensely frustrating considering the amount of stress and headspace it takes up. Thinking of you here too

Sounds like it's all go for you tarti! Are there many jobs / that you fancy or are you just having to apply for any that come up? I still don't envy you the changes at all. I think dp was testing the water earlier about a possible move in the future & I could feel the panic rising slightly.

We're almost over the pox here I think. C hasn't been so bad spotwise though she has been throwing up for a week. Dunno if she's had a gastro bug at the same time or just reacting differently to pox. Put her to bed last Thurs at 7pm as norm and I finally went and woke her at 2pm Friday!!!! Unheard of. Didn't know what to do for the best once I'd established she was actually still alive other than ring Mum to see what she thought.

Boys are both sleeping on the floor tonight . J has been nappy-free at night for a few weeks now but had a wee-accident one night last week & is now a bit weird about his bed & has spent at least part of every night on the floor. W decided he needed to join him tonight. Strange children.

Go Chesti! Sounds like the best plan really, though possibly more difficult than it sounds when you're used to doing more.

Sorry for lack of contact, just read up and wanted to quickly give out congratulations on potty training, big hugs for illness and vomiting and to send Mucky my best wishes for yesterday, I hope it went well

Will be back to update soon!

Oh ALL glad you're nearly over the Pox - sounds like they've been sent this way as poor E now has Shingles :(
With her problems, she isn't the most active child anyway and does get tired easily - now it's even worse and I feel like we're back where we were last year. Although obviously we know what is causing all the fatigue at the moment, it's still horrible having her virtually lifeless.
Poor thing just seems to get everything - they've said that the shingles is most likely down to low immunity. So unfair!

Hope everything went okay yesterday Mucky - can't have been easy; you are so brave and definitely deserve large amounts of and

Oh no Kate, poor poor E. She's had so much to cope with already, I hope her lovely sisters are looking after her. It's so unfair.

Hope everyone else is well. Mucky how was Friday?

I dispatched DH to get croissants this morning and he came back with doughnuts wtf plus we have yet another party this afternoon, I really must hide some veg in something before the girls get rickets

God, do your lot all just go to sleep like little angels at bedtime? Mine no longer have naps but even without them they regularly lark about up there until 9ish. Why the hell aren't they tired?! When I go up and read the riot act it has little effect, DH succeeds in making them cry but they're at it again by the time he gets back downstairs. The only thing that works is him sitting in there until they go to sleep but even then it can be 8 ish and it really eats into our evening together.
Sorry, I know it's only a little problem in the grand scheme of things but along with the complete potty training fail where R is concerned it's really getting me down

"Succeeds in making them cry" I can imagine that it's getting you down, tarti. When you are looking forward to their bedtime and almost willing yourself to get over the finishing line, it's much harder to deal with naughtiness.

What would happen if you left them to settle down when they were ready? (Says the voice of lazy/confrontation-avoiding parenting). Would they be monstrous the next day? Would they be able to keep coming downstairs and annoying you anyway?

I recall Kate saying that she got special cuddly toys that she told the triplets needed help to go to sleep, and she got them to buy in to having a nice quiet bedtime for that reason. Do you think they'd go for something similar?

So sorry to hear about E's shingles Kate. Is she feeling any better? You have had such a dose of bad luck with her illness and it must be so upsetting and worrying. Is I still dealing well with her cast too?

Hope everyone's well and sorry for total silence recently. I have been reading but haven't had much to say. Work is very busy and I've not taken any steps yet with regard to divorce, but have had a couple of visits to stay with friends and otherwise just still adapting to the new normality. My big thing is that I've just booked to go away for a few days all by myself - Egypt. I got a pretty good deal and it looks like a nice hotel (all inclusive etc) so I'm hoping it'll just be a tonic to get away from it all, even if I will be Billy no mates while I'm there (bit daunting actually to holiday alone).

I bet you will really really enjoy it. When are you going?

You might be right about leaving them to just go to sleep when ready. Well in all honesty I pretty much do leave them to it but I just worry that I'm being a terrible, ineffectual parent... I sometimes panic that we are doing a really rubbish job of it all Although usually when we're out and about they are well behaved. The full extent of the horror is only unleashed at home!

In other news we are just trying to knock a couple of k off the purchase price of our soon to be new house after a few nasty surprises on the survey. Also have a job interview week after next. Wish I could just fast forward two months!

Cerub enjoy!! You totally deserve it and will have an amazing time, I went, probably about 9 years ago and had a great time. You float in the water as it has such a high salt content and it is so hot!! Also the food and local wine (very important ) were lovely. take a few good books and just relax

Not much to say here, scared to go back to the dentist as I am absolutely certain my front tooth could fall out any day, it's so wobbly, my gums are really enflamed and it is not good! Hello 3k tooth implant screams in horror and fear

Kate poor E hope she's on the mend, bless her, it's just unfair for her to be ill again on top of everything else.

All hope everything's ok at yours, loved the pics on FB this week, they make such an adorable threesome :)

Mucky How did court go? Hoping no news is good news xx

Thanks ladies - E's starting to be on the mend now, although not at all back to normal. Have been reading up on Shingles and never knew how long it could go on for - apparently they can carry on having pain for months afterwards?
Cerub Thanks for asking about I too, she's doing brilliantly with it all and has recently upgraded to a brace! Yay! It's like a big jelly bean with 3 velcro straps on the back (I could try and find one online?) and she can have it off for 1 hour a day :) We are very lucky that she's got it before the weather gets too warm.
Cerub I am totally wishing I was you and that I could book a lone holiday! Please get suntans for us all
Tarti Cerub is right - cuddlies worked wonders for us! Since having DD2 (nightmare at bedtime) we realised that it really wasn't the end of the world if they didn't go to bed late, and therefore just relaxed about it all. With I we would spend out nights running up and down the stairs after her, shouting, getting cross etc - none of it worked! With the DTrips, the cuddlies worked with getting them back into routine, but they still have the occasional visit back downstairs and we just ask them what's up - once they've had a little chat we ask them nicely to go back upstairs and they happily will. The world won't end if they go to bed late - and I do think that bedtimes are sometimes taken far more seriously than they should be (we definitely used to be like this and took it far too seriously!) - who cares if they go to bed later than they 'should'? They're kids, they're having fun!
But yes - cuddly story. I completely made up the theory to DH as we went shopping and found these gorgeous teddies and had to have a reason to buy them as they were slightly more expensive than your average teddy!
I can't remember exactly how the 'technique' went, so have C&P'ed from up thread.
Basically, we hammed up these teddies and DD's all absolutely LOVED them - we then did a whole story about the teddies being tiny babies and that they don't know how to sleep like good girls yet, so DD's have to show them. Explained that if DD's can't show the teddies how to be good then their 'sleepy cuddly' is taken to mummy and daddys bed so that we can show them how to sleep nicely (that isn't supposed to sound so rude!!!). They were horrified at the thought of their new cuddlies sleeping with us! Instead of constantly concentrating on how naughty they are being, giving them the opportunity to keep being naughty, this technique is kind of making them want to be grown up and in charge of their special teddy. First night we explained that sleep cuddly is really tired, but she isn't sure how to get to sleep so DD's need to show them how they go to sleep nicely.

It's worth a try! But above all, I would say to just relax about it (am not saying that you are uptight now, or anything!) - if they are happy upstairs until 9 then I would just leave them to it. Eventually they will get more and more tired, and if they are staying up there and going to bed when they want, then they will go to sleep earlier. I think all these 'stay in bed' techniques and 'return to bed' are all well and good, but I just don't think that they work for some children. I can hand on heart say that we could've have taken DD2 back to bed 10000000 times in 1 night and she would still carry on coming out. Now she's a brilliant sleeper. I think they al go through a little phase of not being able to fall asleep - and once they're in that routine of not falling asleep straight away, it's hard to get out of it. But yep, that's my opinion - I'm sure many mothers would completely disagree, and that's fine, but sitting back and relaxing can never be a bad thing

LVB You poor thing with your tooth - it sounds horrible. Sending you lots of painkillers!

Oh poor E - good that she's on the mend. I've had shingles a couple of times but got off lightly. Spots are really painful tho & there was residual pain for a while after but more a niggly extra-sensitive area of skin. Have your lot all had chickenpox already then?

Go Cerub! Tis a bit odd travelling on your own for the first time but hopefully once you've done it once there'll be no stopping you! That's a lovely thing to have lined up in the midst of all the awful stuff. Good on you.

Oh Lavita - F certainly did a good job!!! Poor you.

Have to say we're lucky that our lot are mainly ok at bedtime though C seems go have a natural 'off switch' at 8pm so its normal for me not to be downstairs before then. We have bedtime at 7 but don't make them lie down. Usually they choose to be tucked in but sometimes they insist on sitting up / standing esp at the moment as we're going through a delightful 'go away' phase. They still take a toy to bed & we threaten to take it away if they make noise. If it looks like they are struggling to settle we ask if they want us to lie down with them & they're usually gone within 10mins. We still have a stair gate on their doorway so they don't come downstairs but will has worked out how to open it this week so that could change!

I got the littlies to choose sunglasses in anticipation of a bit of summer. J chose pink 'hello kitty' and W & C pink Disney princesses . Hoping they'll last til we next see MIL

Would love to come to Egypt . We are off to the caravan in Northumberland in 10 days. Blooming hope it warms up, but it's not looking hopeful, long range forecast is 6 C. In a caravan

We've been struck down with D &V here. Unfortunately might be more than usual virus. The Childminder took the kids to an animal park 2weeks ago and it's now being investigated as a lot of kids who have visited since Easter have got the dire rear (as h calls it). The kids are OK now, but last week wasn't fun.

Glad E is a little better kate. Karma must be due her something good soon for all her positive attitude over the stuff that life throws are her.

mucky hope things are OK with you

tarti is the new house the home of your dreams. I'm fancying moving as I think our current place is just too small but dh not convinced. Yet.

Ugh, bet you're glad to be through all that chesti! Fingers crossed the long range forecast isn't v accurate. We're up in the NE later this week but sounds like you'll be arriving as we leave. I'll have some free time on Friday tho tarti if you're free. Can't remember your work days but suspect that is one of them.

Sorry to hear about the house of illness lately chesti and hope it's all quiet again now. I suppose at least it didn't happen in the caravan in 6 degree temperatures!?!

Great news about I getting a less restrictive brace Kate! Hopefully it means she finds activity easier and she's not so limited on clothes choices? I hope E is also feeling better.

Poor LVB's tooth, that sounds like a nightmare. Eating must feel rather chancy if you fear it falling out at any moment. Maybe it will be one of those things that you dread but the reality ends up being OK or at least not as bad as feared. It does sound as though you're going to have to have treatment from what you say?

Your three clearly have similar tastes in 'eyewear' ALL. They are looking so grown up in the FB photos you put up recently, especially C - she's suddenly not a baby but a little girl! They are so cute-looking.

mucky can you give us a little signal that you're ok? You've been so quiet since the court thing, I confess I'm a bit worried. Hope it's just that you have had a social whirlwind xx

So tarti you denied us any opportunity to get on Rightmove on your behalf - spill the beans then on what you're buying so we can have some vicarious pleasure! Is your place sold? Good luck for the interview next week. Is the job one you're keen on or are you viewing it as a first touch?

It would be lovely to have you all with me on hols (one for the future perhaps!) I am off in just under a couple of weeks and yesterday went and bought a couple of bits and bobs for it. I needed a bit of R&R actually as I'd just got shot of exhausting house guests (those on FB will have seen) - suffice to say they aren't welcome back in my house again, they weren't absolutely appalling but when the main character traits are being pedantic, condescending, selfish, tight-fisted and argumentative then you know it wasn't a week of accord.

In potty not-training developments in this house tonight, R did a wee in the potty! I gave her heaps of praise and she seemed completely unmoved but was quite interested to see it go down the loo.

Thanks, Kate especially, for the bedtime chat. Have decided to chill out about it as suggested! I think we've gone past the window for putting toys to bed, I think they'd see straight through it. DH reckons it's quite sweet the way they instantly perk up at 7pm no matter how knackered they are, as it obv shows how much they love this time of day when it's just the two of them and they can chat/sing/read etc. bless him.

Ofsted have announced they are coming tomorrow.
Also have been called for interview at two schools next week on the same day - can't do both so I have opted for the small girls' prep school 2 days a week over the big comp full time which is a big punt really as doesnt fit my profile at all on paper. Hope it doesn't backfire on me but I'd be really worried about sticking the girls in nursery full time all of a sudden after the major upheaval of relocating. Nothing to do with sheer laziness on my part, obviously

God yes I must link to new house when not on my phone - sorry about the lack of rightmove fun, was a very fraught couple of months and didn't feel much like fun at the time!

Sorry completely self obsessed, will get over myself by this time next week I promise!

Ok time for a very important discussion - summer sandals for toddler girls!

Get the ball rolling then LVB or it'll be a very short discussion!

Good luck tarti! The pt job sounds good. Really don't think i could teach ft with littlies. Hard enough at the mo. & with ofsted too. Just talking about us being ready for them towards end if year and wondering if there's time to fit another baby in .

Summer shoes lavita? Was v surprised to discover an hour or so ago that it is actually May. Might need to start thinking about such things....

I have a feeling I'm being all pfb with boys. Will has been all pseudo-aggressive lately & it's a bit weird and unsettling. He's been a bit upset that he's not getting stickers at nursery because of his behaviour so thought I'd ask nursery. They've said he's not been in trouble but not to worry about his behaviour as he's just copying the older boys who are heavily into Spider-Man & batman. I just want to scoop him up and not let him have that influence yet. Not that I know much about those programmes.... Must let it go..

Nearly up north for a nice long weekend. Looking forward to it!