More children after twins?

[HattieHarriet]

Hi everyone. Would appreciate any views/experiences on this

My b/g twins are 14 months old. My husband and I said very early on that we wanted to stick with just the 2 children as:

I had hyperemesis throughout the whole of my pregnancy (including staying overnight on a drip etc 3 times). I basically hated most of being pregnant and really struggled with the sickness

I had a C-Section which ended up being abit of a horrible experience for me (epidural didn't take properly) and lost a fair bit of blood- I don't look back on it very well!

We had originally wanted 2 children.

I've become a SAHM due to cost of childcare and I'm planning on going back to uni, either to do postgrad or something completely different

AND.....

The possibility of having twins again! (was told have a higher chance as I have twins in my family and I'm in my 20's)

BUT

I feel a little bit sad I guess, only experiencing pregnancy (however bad) and that newborn stage once. We didn't have the easiest of times when they were younger, with bad colic that lasted for months and both very poor sleepers. My husband and I were like zombies for a long time! Because of me not wanting to put my career on hold any longer, we would have to try again sooner rather than later.

I guess we're 90% sure we're not going to try for anymore children (I have even sold or given alot of baby things away).... I would love to know how many of you went on to have anymore children after twins, how you decided, how you coped and any experiences please.

Sorry for the long post!

We are in the same boat as you - non id twins so a good chance of more. I went in to labour at 30 weeks so would always worry about having them early again and like you would probably only of had 2 anyway.

It just seems so final and even though my hands are full and I really know how lucky I am, I just want another experience, the whole pregnancy, baby stage but as an experienced Mum not a blundering first time Mum if that makes sense. When people told me to make the most of the baby stage because it goes too quickly I didnt really take any notice - I was too tired and busy. Not too sure if that is a good enough reason for us too have another baby (or 2) though.

Sorry no help but I do know where your coming from.

Thanks so much for your reply, it's good to know that someone else understands!

I can totally relate to almost being too busy to appreciate and 'take in' the baby stage- it was so difficult and we were so sleep deprived and I actually struggle to remember a lot of it. My friends experiences of their singleton newborns have been completely different (not that I would have changed having twins for the world)

Sorry muckingfuddle, meant to add I can't imagine what it must have been like having your twins at 30 weeks- I can understnad your worries about it happening again

Hi I have 4 year old twins B/G and now I'm 9 weeks pregnant. Not sure yet if it's one or two :) people think we're mad that we decided to have another one but we always wanted to have a big family. Hopefully I will manage somehow as neither of us have any families around, they all live abroad. Never got any help from anyone, so whatever I did I learnt from my own mistakes.

I am a mummy of 1 year old identical twins. I totally understand you reasons for being unsure about having more kids. My husband says never again for us, and I agree when it comes to the sleeepnights but my little ones are not so little anymore and I think I already miss them being little babies, even though it was hard and we had lots of hospital vists etc to content with. I also struggle to remember the early times - as there was so much to do all the time, or perhaops my memory is just rubbish !?!

I don't have twins, but can absolutely relate to the sadness of only experiencing pg, childbirth, newborn etc only once. I also had hyperemisis and a c section and hated every minute of pregnancy. By the time DS was 2 I'd sold loads of baby stuff, I think as "actions speak louder than words" to convince myself that I really did not want another baby... but then, I had the additional driver of wanting DS to have a sibling. By the time DS was 2.3 I was pg again.

I once met a family on a train who had 3 sets of twins. They looked stunned.

So, I think what I am trying to say, is that I can not possibly know what it is like to have twins, but I can say that I think it is normal to feel as you do about only experiencing pg etc once. But I only repeated it to give DS a sibling (she is now 7 months old) - I think if I had had twins I might have counted my lucky starts that I didn't have to go through pg etc again.

Congratulations TwinMummy I bet you can't wait for your scan! Do you have any feelings that you may be having twins again?

Hamfist- the early times also just escape me. I do feel crap and guilty about this to be honest!

My husband personally feels he couldn't go through it all again- he's been fantastic and very hands on but thinks another set of twins would finish him off! Mine still don't sleep through the night now and it has been a bloody hard slog sleep wise. BUT he does miss them being babies in a way also and has said if I really wanted to then we would.

I also think mine have had to share me from the start already... silly really as I enjoy coming from a larger family myself. I agree that we wouldn't have to consider it maybe only having one more baby. When we found out we were having twins it was, apart from holding them for the first time, the most wonderful moment. DH would possibly faint next time round if we were to have twins again

I had (unplanned pg) twins at 24 then had a (not planned) missed miscarriage of another twin pregnancy two years later. Then did a zygosity test on my twins to discover that they are 'identical' (monozygotic) which makes it all the more bizarre that I went on to conceive another set. Then saw a obsetrician who gave me a 1 in 10 chance of having twins again if I went on to have another pregnancy. When my twins were three I became pregnant again (not planned) and had a singleton when my twins were nearly four. DH had a vasectomy shortly after!

I really enjoyed having the experience of a single pregnancy and babyhood (the birth was a bit crap) and wouldn't change it at all now- they all get on really well and DD has completed our family, our lives would be worse without her, she is a ray of sunshine. HOWEVER if the middle pregnancy had suceeded and I'd had two sets of twins less than three years apart I really don't think I would have coped at all. With DD I had one summer with four year old twins and a newborn then the boys were off at school and I was at home with DD which was really nice as I had the time with her on her own and they were old enough by then that there wasn't any jealousy.

I don't know what to suggest really- just thought that my experience might be of use? I don't regret having a third at all but if it had been a third and fourth my opinion might be different!

BikeRinSki that is exactly how I felt during pregnacy- 'thank god I don't have to do this again!'

It sounds slightly strange, but in a way we both feel we had twins for a 'reason'- as in other ways it has worked out well for us and I dread to think how I could cope if I had hyperemesis again with twin toddlers to look after- did you have an easier pregnancy with your daughter?

at parents of 3 sets of twins looking stunned!

run, not rin!

I think it's natural to feel some sadness that you might not do it again & it just depends how much your long list of negatives go towards countering that

We had dd 19 months after having twin boys. Very different situation to yours though. We wanted a large family but it didn't look like we'd have children at all for a long time. I had a straightforward pg/birth with the boys and we decided any more would be welcome, if unlikely so not expecting it at all.... and then there was dd . We've found that dd has slotted in nicely & it's far less manic than dealing with two babies but once you have young children around it's obviously a little more diffcult to focus so much on the `baby phase' than when you're new parents anyway. Dd is 7 months & her early days are a bit of a blur already really as there is so much else happening.

I had a singleton exactly 2 years after my twins and although having two 2 year olds and a newborn was hard (don't remember much to be honest!) I've never regretted it. I did feel sad at the thought of only experiencing one pregnancy and birth (though I had an easy time with my twins, unlike you) and was delighted to be pregnant again, slightly sooner than planned maybe :) Having one baby is a walk in the park after twins and I was very laid back with her. It was also a true joy looking after one baby and being able to give your whole attention to one child instead of pinging back and forth between two. My DTs are now 9 and my singleton is 7 and they - mostly - get on fantastically well.

I have non id twin girls who are now 6. My dd3 is 18months. So glad we decided to have 1 more. Was convinced I'd have another set of twins and we had both said it'd be fine, but honestly you have never seen 2 more relieved faces at a 1st scan when we were told there was only 1 in there

I had a missed miscarriage when the twins were 3 and that really made us both realise just how much we wanted number 3.

My dd3 is just a really happy wee soul and so laid back. I've really enjoyed having a single pregnancy and baby. Everything is just so less exhausting. I don't think either of us really remember or to be honest enjoyed the twins 1st year. Been so different this time round. The pregnancy was so easy. I was in hospital for ages with high blood pressure etc with twins and delivered at 34 weeks. Dd3 arrived on due date. Definately feel our family is complete now

Hi I have an eldest DC and 2 sets of non-id twins and I'm 26 weeks pregnant with 3rd set. I hated being pregnant the first time I think we all have our horror stories.But more kids means more fun in one of 9 with 3 sets of twins me being part of one of those sets. Twins and triplets are a blessing.

AtLongLast it is a a rather long list of negatives, isn't it?! I recognise you from when I was pregnant and when my twins were younger (have name changed alot) glad you are all doing well!

sinking and mum23, yes I think it's that idea of maybe experiencing a singleton pregnancy and newborn stage.(although I would have twin toddlers to contend with!) It sounds like it's worked out really well for you both.

lovelivelaugh.... Wow! If I wore a hat I would take it off to you! what are the age gaps between yours?

Anyway, had a long chat with DH last night and read the comments from this thread so thanks to everyone for sharing your experiences. Main concerns seem to be having twins again and having to change car, me getting out the house with 4 young children on my own and with what type of buggy, having 2 sleepers like these and keeling over from surviving on 3-4 hours sleep for months . This would obviously be so much easier if we waited until our twins were in school but that would have impact on what we want to do...

Much to think about

I know two mums on with twins and one with quads, both have singletons born 4-5 years later. In the end the desire to experience pregnancy again was too great and both felt they had missed out on enjoying having a tiny baby in the chaos.

Hi HattieHarriet It's true, I watch for my postman like a hawk hoping everyday that he brings a letter with my scan date. I do have a weird feeling that it might be more than one as I can already feel my fundus for the past couple of weeks, nearly half way to my belly button! But than again, my muscles aren't as tight as they were so you never know, maybe there is just one :)
Will let you know in couple of weeks time x

TwinMummy please do! Such a lovely, exciting time x

Bunting that's interesting, especially after having quads. This thread has been a real eye opener for me actually as ALL the twin mums I know in RL (attend a twins club) are really vocal in not wanting any more, and many people in general are surprised that I feel the way I do

My eldest is 5 (almost 6) and first set of twins are 3 and the youngest are 19months. Had bought a special pram when my youngest were born its a Phil Teds one. It had 2 seats at the bottom and 2 above for the youngest was a little awkward to push at first but got used to it very quickly. I'm gunna have to use it aswell when these 2 are born as my youngest don't walk everywhere yet.

Hi, I can relate to what you are thinking. Our situation was slightly different in that my twins were born at 27 weeks so although I was desperate for another baby - for a larger family, the pregnancy (I loved being pregnant) and the newborn stage - we were very anxious that I'd give birth prematurely again and we'd have the whole neonatal nightmare again, but with 2 x 3yr olds in tow this time!! My husband had also had chemotherapy since the twins were born so we decided to try, we'd resigned ourselves to being a family of 4 (and counting our blessings). I actually got pregnant just as the twins were 3 so they were coming upto 4 by the time number 3 arrived. I cried at my scan when there was only one - tears of relief even though I said another set of twins would be good! It was quite stressful around the time I'd gone into labour last time, and its quite hard work now - they're 3, 7 and 7 (she says quietly as a previous poster says she's about to have Numbers 6 and 7!!!) but I don't regret it for a single second. I feel absolutely "done" now, she completed our family somehow. I don't feel in the slightest bit broody or envious when I see other newborns. My husband took some convincing but wouldn't change things now (except the bank balance!). I think initially, it was for selfish reasons - apart from the pregnancy and early baby stage, I also wanted to get to term (think I'd felt a failure by giving birth prematurely - Number 3 was only a day early) and I recognise now those are not good reasons for having a 3rd baby, but seeing them all interact together, I think its the right decision (regardless of how we came to the decision!!).

Its all very subjective and of course, no-one would say once a baby was here that they regretted it. I do have to recognise that life would have been much easier for us as parents, and we'd be better off, if we didn't have Number 3.

My twins (b/b non-id) were 2.5 when DD was born, 6 months ago.

In brief as we are mid bedtime routine here :

A much easier pregnancy (I had awful hyperemesis too with the twins)
A much better c- section (in fact replaced a bad scar with a decent one)
A much trickier baby - thank goodness there is only one of her!!
And lovely to have the experience of one baby to feed.

It's bloody hard work but I wouldn't have missed it for all the world. Maybe a bit different for me as I was shocked & delighted to get a girl too

Congratulations live and Twinmummy
I quite liked being pregnant and still miss my bump now nearly 2 years on. I was lucky through pregnancy had bad sickness but no nausea so I was fine after I had been sick.

I am so so broody - just got to work on the other half now

Wow lovelivelaugh big congrats! Just realised now that you are having your 3rd set :)
Thanks muckingfuddle and I know the feeling of trying to convince DH :)
Still waiting for my scan letter :( taking ages,
I loved every day of my twin pregnancy too. Had some bleeding at the beginning but otherwise no nausea, nothing. This time I had a bit of dizziness, nausea and vomiting but not to bad, very sore boobs though :)

Trust me ladies, that feeling doesn't go away!!

I have my ds 9, and dd6, dd 16 months old, dtd, 5 months!!

It's crazy I would love another in few years time but we won't!!
I hate the feeling of once there babies are big we will never have another baby in the house.

If we did have another I'm sure I would still feel the same so for me it would be never ending :) I love babies :)