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D'y ever wonder why its ALWAYS this time of night when we start a new thread!!

999 replies

shabbapinkfrog · 31/05/2012 23:10

Still searching the shag pile for my Faliraki flip flops!!! Grin

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ChopstheDuck · 19/06/2012 07:21

morning girls!

I agree with shabs, trips. I think your mum needs to sit in hospital, and you need to start insisting that something is done. Sad

have either of you seen this post here Perhaps you could point them int he right direction? :(

triplets · 19/06/2012 23:02

Too tired to type more but mum is coming home on Thurs. The surg team have said no form of surgery is possible. Everything we need is being put in plus 2 carers 4 x`s a day.Her foot must be kept uncovered all the time to enable it to dry up, then is will come off...........it smells so terrible . I am so bewildered by it all, seems such an unreal situation. She will be on a form of permanent bed rest, no pressure to be put on the foot at all. She was very upset this afternoon, very tired and fed up......she told the nurses that she (me) will have to come down everyday to look after her. She also unkindly said that I would be happier if she went in a home........
goodnight girls x

triplets · 20/06/2012 06:38

Morning girls..........wonder what today will bringConfused x

shabbapinkfrog · 20/06/2012 06:42

Morning girls xx

Oh Trips - am searching around in my brain for the right words to say - and, I cannot find them. It all sounds barbaric. xxx

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rubyrubyruby · 20/06/2012 08:00

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shabbapinkfrog · 20/06/2012 08:24

Totally agree Rubester. When Gareth was in hospital I took Danny every day to see him. I would lie them next to each other in the cot. Bit by bit, without me noticing, the nurses (who were run off their feet) left me to it. Even though I had no idea about any of the machinery etc etc. I ended up getting no sleep whatsoever and nursed my seriously ill little lad. Dont get drawn in Trips. I think also that your Mum is scared. Dont let them 'teach you' how to do medical stuff because Rubester is right - they will, bit by bit, withdraw their care.

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triplets · 20/06/2012 22:40

What an awful day.......how diff she was from y/day. We got to the hosp at 2pm to find her in her bed with the sides up, she was very restless. She was in pain and said it had started last night in her foot, at 2am they gave her some morphine but it did little to help. We asked if they could give her something more and they said they had upped the morphine at 12pm. She was very distressed, they came back and gave her something else which had her asleep within 5 mins. Whilst she was asleep one of the vascular team came to speak to us. He said there was now no question of her going home until they had controlled the pain, at least Monday. He said she had multiple problems and that he had spoken to her and told her if they were unable to get on top of the pain for her then amputation of the whole leg would have to be a last resort. We asked did he think she would survive the surgery and his answer was she is very frail and is "hanging on like a thread" :( Got home at 6pm feeling sick and upset to a house full of selfish people who only wanted to know what time dinner was.:(

shabbapinkfrog · 20/06/2012 23:02

Oh sweetheart - there are no words I can say other than 'I love you with all my heart and wish I could change things for you and your Mum.' xxxx

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shabbapinkfrog · 21/06/2012 06:39

Morning girls xx

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ChopstheDuck · 21/06/2012 07:13

Trips :( xxx I hope she is having a better day today. isn't there something else they can give rather than morphine if the morphine isn't working? Are they giving it via IV?

I'm rather stressed too. The whole thing with dd is getting totally out of hand. She is only 12 and has being trying to make secret plans to 'have sex' with her friend. Bloody Miley Cyrus has a lot to answer for! I don't know how to deal with it. Thankfully I had already said no to this girl coming around the house anyhow, for other reasons. I have no idea what dd thinks girls do get up to together, though she already seems to know far too much.

DH read text messages on dd's phone. She doesn't know we know yet, and I'm worried about confronting her, because then she will know I have been reading it, and will probably clam up and I will never be able to spy on her again will not know when she is in trouble another time, and it could be something even more serious.

shabbapinkfrog · 21/06/2012 09:06

Oh shite poo Chops....scary stuff!!! Tom was having massive problems at school with verbal bullying. I only found out because he left his facebook open and in I waltzed to read the messages that were on there. They were from boys who he didn't even know who were a couple of years older than him. Telling him all kinds of revolting stuff. I didn't know what to do.

Watched Supernanny on telly the same day and she had an amazing idea. I got an writing pad and wrote down how I felt and admitted that I had snooped in his FB but that I was glad I had done. Told him how much he meant to me...etc etc. That night, when he was going to bed, I told him I had left our diary message book in his room and, if he wanted to, he could write something.

It worked so well. He named names and told me what had been happening. We still use it sometimes when things are getting on top of him.

I dont know if that will work for you but I suppose it would be worth a try. I hope you soon get it sorted out - girls are so scary!! xxx

Oh yes - he decided to keep those messages on and they are still there some 2 years later. He is keeping them (in his words) for evidence that may have to be used at a later date....Hmm he certainly is like me!!

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ChopstheDuck · 21/06/2012 10:20

Oh I can remember the marvellous FG suggesting a similar thing! When dd was struggling before, we wrote little notes to each other.

We've sat down and had a huge chat, and hopefully dd isn't going to do anything she isn't ready for. She is very confused atm.

I will send her a little note later. Thankfully she did open up when we chatted, and I've been able to try to advise her, and without me owning up to checking her phone! She didn't tell me all the details, but we were able to discuss what was upsetting her.

I'm going to have to send her a note later. She needs plenty of reassurance atm, and starting the notes again might keep her talking. Smile

ChopstheDuck · 21/06/2012 10:21

she is off school btw. It came to a bit of a head, she said she couldn't be bothered to go to school, and it was really clearly all getting too much for her.

shabbapinkfrog · 21/06/2012 10:48

Sad horrible age to be. I remember that confused feeling. Tom kept getting called 'fat, gay boy' (and that is the most polite thing he was called. He kept saying to me 'do you think I am gay?' I just replied over and over again 'I dont care what you are I love you no matter what. I will support you whatever road you chose to go down. I only expect, from you, compassion for other people, to do your best in everything you do and to never knowingly hurt other people.' He said a few weeks ago...'I know Im not gay Mum but I am rather chunky Grin'

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ChopstheDuck · 21/06/2012 10:54

It seems so much harder for them these days too, than what it ever was for us!

Poor dd is totally bewildered. She doesn't know if she is gay or not, and was so scared! She seems so much happier and relaxed for getting off her chest though. I think looking back she has been a bit quiet for the past couple of weeks, and it must have been bothering her. I dont think she is gay, jsut hormonal and confused. But I have reassured her that I love her, and it's ok for her to be whatever she wants to be and makes her happy.

shabbapinkfrog · 21/06/2012 11:28

Awww well done Chops. See we never knew the word 'gay' when we were that age. My only knowledge of anything like that was when my dad used to say that I couldn't like Cliff Richard because 'he is a Jessie!!' Im sorry but I just nearly wet myself at the word 'Jessie.' I am soooo mature Hmm

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ChopstheDuck · 21/06/2012 11:41

maybe that's it - we didn't have to think about it so young, when all the hormones are kicking in and confusing them!

I really can't remember how I learned about it! Def not at 12 though.

Bubby64 · 21/06/2012 20:58

Trips - So sorry to hear about your mum, but please, please do not get drawn into caring for her. I did this with my mum, even to the extent of going there straight after work, and only seeing my family for a few minutes thos evening. It wasn't until I withdrew, and let the carers take over and do their job that I realised what a detrimental effect it had had on my family. I will not let this happen again.
Shabs/Chops - As you know, I have been having problems with my own pre-teens. I spoke to a psychologist friend about it, and she says, yes, they are getting these bursts of hormones flooding their systems, and they are not mature enough to cope with them. Oh, and Mike has been called a "fat gaybo" as well, he said he understands the fat bit, as he is overweight, but he has had a girlfriend, so how could they call him gay!
Had more problems with him again yesterday. James had been really horrid to him and winding him up, even giving him a split lip on Tuesday, and M didn't want to go to school with him . Anyway, they were sent off by the childminder to school, but M never arrived, the school phoned to ask if he was sick, and then, concerned, the CM set off from home and the school secretary set off from school to search the route looking for him. In the mean while, CMs 16yr old son called to say M had been hiding in CM's back garden. Upshot of it all was M was taken back to school, and we had a meeting in afternoon with teacher and headmaster to discuss the whole business, M was told how irrisponsible his behaviour was, and J was told about how his behaviour had effected his brother, and how he was to behave in a more "brotherly" manner and not like a little shit!
I hope that this will have the desired effect for a while at least Hmm

Bubby64 · 21/06/2012 21:02

Oh, and Pontiac is finally back on the road, so i will no longer be like a single parent most of the time. DH said why did I not cheer when he gave me the news, and I said it was because after all the problems, it all seemed like a bit of and anticlimax Confused

ChopstheDuck · 21/06/2012 21:43

Bubby, your boys so sound like my dts all grown up! Dt2 atagonises dt1 to hell. Glad the pont is sorted, hopefully that will be one less worry.

Dd has had boyfriends and is still confused, I think it is just a sign of the times!

Trips, where are you? How did today go?

Shabs, I luff u! Thank you for talking to me earlier! I'm so relieved, dd seems more her normal self, and a huge weight off he shoulders.

triplets · 21/06/2012 22:41

I am here................just reading all your woes. Teens today are a totally diff ball game to what they used to be. Shabs and me have a good comparison wth our darling lost boys and gaps between kids. Matthew was never never like these three, far more considerate to us, not demanding, not rude..........oh how I miss him. Hope you all get things sorted, just remember that nothing stays the same. x
Mum was a lot better today, the sisiter said she had had a very good night, though we know they had dosed her up. She was asleep when we went in, looked very frail but when she woke up she was my Mum again and very funny at times. I have no idea how its going to go, she is very much up one day and down the next. Its exhausting.
Just spent the last hour packing the boys stuff for tomorrow, they are off to Somerset with the cadets for the w/end to a big air show.............weather permitting! So hope its not cancelled they will be so disappointed. So just the three of us until Sun night..................AND H and I have been invited for supper at a friends house 2 mins around the corner. We used to go out regularly to friends houses for supper, but since H has been ill its all stopped, so will be a nice change. Btw I had a sweet text from the mighty Frumpster a few weeks ago remembering Matthews special day, I was sooooooo pleased to hear from her:) Time to hit the sack............... x

piximonplus5 · 21/06/2012 23:00

sticks head round door. Hello girls, I'm drowning in coursework, but thought I'd drop by. Hello to the newbies and the oldies alike.

Chops I'm glad things are in the open, your dd must feel so relieved that she can talk to you. I've nabbed the idea of a notebook and have passed the idea on to someone else.

Trips your posts of teenage shenanigans fills me with dread, I suppose I can only keep on dying my greys and be thankful if I have any hair left by the time mine reach that stage.

Things are good in the pixi house, after 4.5 years of living here, dh finally has a local job (not in his preferred field but he can live with that for now). Means another period of adjustment for us, just as we'd gotten used to him being home full time, but so far, so good. Smile

DS3 is gearing up for school in Sept. He cannot wait to join the others. I'm convinced the family is complete, but feeling slightly bereft at the thought of them all growing up and not being needed quite as much. Doesn't help that people around me keep having gorgeous babies Grin.

Dts are going though a strange stage, they are not as close as before Sad, at school dt1 is mainly interested in her female friends so dt2 has had to find solace elsewhere (mainly in the computers). Their teacher assures me that they seek each other out when they encounter something new but I miss the days when they were very obviously best friends. At home dt2 has teamed up with ds3 (to the extent that people assume they are twins) and if there is mischief to be had they'll be behind it. But on the whole they're growing and life is getting (dare I say it) easier. I'm contemplating the possibilities of work from Sept Shock if anyone would have me Hmm, for now I'm doing some voluntary work, to dip my toes in.

I really must try harder to keep up with the thread, only for some reason it doesn't work well on my android phone.

triplets · 21/06/2012 23:42

:) :) :) Pixi how lovely to hear from you, been too long :) :) :)

shabbapinkfrog · 22/06/2012 00:23

Good to see you here Pixie.....do you mean Prince is going to school? Grin Awwww not possible in any way!! Lew has his confirmation letter for school in September....AND, more importantly, his reading bag!!!! Will be amazing for him to start 'proper' school. Will be a welcome rest for me and DH...have looked after him every day since he was 10 months old.....and often one night at the weekend as well. He is a star...my firstborn and his wife (to be) made their very own firstborn!!!! Cant see there being anymore though Grin

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shabbapinkfrog · 22/06/2012 06:42

Morning girls xx

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