dreaming - Try not to focus on the bad possibilities. You are a good mother!!! Re your 'how to survive' post, mine are obviously much calmer than yours generally, but basically we don't have much crying except in the evening which is mostly just the stress of bedtime and them being overtired. They often get a bit grumpy when I'm trying to do something such as make lunch or tea, but I take the upset baby with me into the kitchen or wherever which helps, as does sitting them where they can see DS or the tv bad mother emoticon?. They stay in bouncy chairs a lot (a fact that I hate but can't really help) which means I can bounce them. Dummies also help a lot!! Cut out whinging when they're getting a bit tired but not ready to sleep, for example.
I time all my outings around feeds so that they've just been fed and usually need a sleep (though they often don't sleep as the world is blatantly too interesting but they don't seem to suffer too much from it!), which then gives me at least 2 hours out without worrying about a feed. If I'm just shopping they sometimes cry when I stop in a shop (you become a speed shopping expert don't you!) but that tends to be when they haven't managed to fall asleep by then, and otherwise they're mostly fine. If we go somewhere that requires long periods of sitting (i.e. library) they can get a bit more grumpy but there I can take them out and lie them on the floor to look at toys so seems to be ok, or just rock the pushchair if they're tired, which usually (but not always) at least keeps them mostly quiet. I tell you, I have become an expert in feeding one, rocking the other in the pushchair and dealing with DS! Did that yesterday in a cafe - not fun when DS was getting tired of eating and being strapped to a chair (had no highchairs) and kept shouting... thankfully nobody seemed to bat an eyelid having my back to 90% of the cafe helped though and we more or less got through it but I was glad to get out of there!
On your outing, how long had it been since your twins had fed? i mean were they technically due a feed or was that an effort to calm them down? if you're like me it feels thats the only reason I feed them anyway... Only wondering because I virtually never use boob to calm mine unless they're absolutely beside themselves - so for example i would have tried to walk around and calm them that way or rock the buggy or something (if that would work with yours?) and not give in too much to the 'easy way out' (mostly because it usually ends up being more awkward). On the other hand, there's a really interesting article I read once went on about a lady's experience in mongolia (to be found here ), where they always calm the kids with boob, with 100% success... so i'm sure both ways have great merits! As long as you have endless pairs of arms
With DD I would recommend putting a harness on her so in that kind of situation you can have her out of the buggy but under some kind of control - either fasten the strap to the side of the buggy (if it's heavy enough - I have the ABC triple but the brake is too loose on ours so can't do that really as it can roll) or to your wrist, and she can at least play with stones or something?! Even with my extremely well behaved DS I've had to do this a couple of times when in a dangerous area and it seems to work better than him having to sit still.
twelve i too love the wrestling with a ferret description - it already feels a bit like that with my two - definitely considering buying some sort of necklace that they can play with during feeds!
red - remind me how old yours are?
twin2 - sorry to hear about your sister's miscarriage :( Also I keep seeing twins around too, and usually think, how great it will be when they're all that age!!
And welcome skitoo and scollister :)
...And, um, so is there a limit to the length of a thread on here then?