Any chinese mothers out there???

[blossom2]

I was just wondering

DH is english and DD is a wonderful mix of both of us. people say she looks english/white when out with Dh and chinese when she's out with me!!!

we started the sleep training tonight and she went to sleep at 10.30pm , and we had about 30 minutes to eat dinner again (she also cried for 30 mins and was sick) but not bad i thought for the first night .... wish me luck everyone.

i just want my evenings back so i can spend more time on here. feel guilty that i started this post and hardly get a chance to post regularly....

hope everyone is doing well though...

Hi Blossom2

Have you tried Gina Ford's routines? I know it engenders heated debates on this site when you mention her.

But it worked for DD (1 yr) and I and I'm still breastfeeding.

cheers

hey, i did use GF for dd, but not sure how practical it would be for a second child as it is not particularly flexible, but it did work.

I am good, back hurts though and have spent the day fending off my nan who insists I should have at least another couple of babies after this one! She is a little old fashioned so is determined I should have a baby boy, I have been told i have a girl in my tummy at the mo! She even nagged my dh using all five english workds she knows!!!!!!!And to top it off she made me watch chinese opera - urg can't bear it, I also can't bear western opera, I just do not understand it!

I dont think DD2 will fit into the gina ford as she generally gets tired about 1-1.5 hrs after she last woke up. she even fell asleep on her babygym today!
However she is getting better. she generally has a 3 hr feeding routine and naps. evenings are more predictable and she has gone down at 8pm for the past few nights - still keeping my fingers crossed though.
DH is trying to put her to bed for the first time tonight - i'm here with a glass of wine, trying not to intervene ....

how is everyone else???

oh also, Memiors of a Geisha is coming out in December - cant wait! saw the trailer for it and it looks amazining. Ziyi Zhang seems to have been in every 'oriental' film that is publised in the West for the past few years! very of her beauty....

blossom - how did dh do?

am off to buy paint for dd1's new room although she won't be moving into it for probably another 8 months, just want her to get used to the idea so she won't feel like she is being kicked out by the new arrival!

Am good on the whole, and just waiting although braxton hicks are the bain of my life!

Sorry haven't had the chance to post!! so DH gave up after 30 mins (although she was screaming very loud). Poor thing gets herself worked up and nothing comforts her.
We have gotten into some kind of routine where she goes to bed at 6.30pm, wakes about 30/45 mins later and then takes another 30/45 mins to settle again for the night. so generally she'll sleep from 8pm to 3am (dream feed at 11pm). So its not too bad.

Although i'm going to stop swaddling tonight and give her a chance to get to her fingers & thumb ... so tonight is going to be hard!!

Hi all, I am new to this site and just want to say hi to all the chinese mothers out there. I am from Hong Kong so I speak cantonese. Are you all planning to teach your ds or dd chinese? Are you all speaking to them in chinese already? Btw, my son is 14 weeks and he's my first.

welcome wyls, er did plan to teach dd some cantonese but didn't really manage it! she understands the odd word and knows that I speak to my parents in cantonese. My own parents did not help by always talking to her in english, hopefully she will pick up more later. Cantonese is not my first language and hubby is english so another reason it is not going so well! But if cantonese is your first language then i would persevere - good luck!

blossom - hope things are getting better, and let DH keep trying! It half a year, she will sleep through the night and all of this will be a distant memory. And when they become teenagers, u will never have to wake up early again!!!!!

its funny but DD2 is looking more and more like her sister ... baby photos look identical!!

thanks for your support yingers. last night was really hard and i've been walking around like a zombie all day ... brain does not seem to be working at all... got a really bad headache as well....

although i do want to enjoy this baby stage, the lack of support is making me wish the months away .... gotta go & put DD2 to bed whilst DD1 is crashed out on the sofa ... what a day...

Welcome Wyls ... i do feel very guilty at times that DD1 doesn't know any cantonese but she did see my family about once a week so got lots of exposure. she did look at me strangely when i spoke cantonese though, then we moved to paris and now moving back to the UK .... i try not to worry about it too much and reason that as long as i tell her about her culture/hertiage, then she can always tell me that she wants to learn chinese & cantonese ....

How is everyone else doing?? especially those with recent babies.... need to know i'm not the only one walking around like a zombie ...

Oh, also wanted to ask if anyone else has got/seen the book "the magic paintbrush" about the chinese girl Shen and her magic paintbrush. Pictures are great and good story.

no i havent seen that book but will go and get it though cos it sounds very interesting.

My husband is english too so I speak english at home most of the time. But my mum does speak cantonese to my ds.

How old if your dd2, blossom2?

DD2 is now 11 weeks and being a real pickle. Not going down in the evenings at all.

oh dear. You have probably mentioned it before but does she have a bed time routine? sometimes it takes a while with their new routine so you just have to be patient. My ds is fine with going to bed at night at about 8-830pm and i dream feed him at 11pm but he keeps waking up at 3-330am every morning. I ususally just give him his dummy and he goes back to bed and then he will wake up at about 6-7am. Any suggestions on him waking at 3am in the morning?

the only things i've heard suggested are like you said, using a dummy, giving them water or giving them more during the day and at the dream feed.

let me know what works as i'll be trying it out with DD2 soon (also wakes 3-4am).

DD2 has a bedtime routine and i'm just waiting for her to start following it ... its just hard in the meantime ....

how are you finding motherhood??

Hi all

Sorry to hear you're having a hard time Blossom2, just keep repeating "It will get better" because you know it will! And if you're moving back to the UK soon, you will probably get more support from your family then and it will feel easier.

Just wanted to share something very funny which DS (age 4) said to his little friend the other day.

We were on our way to the Chinese Church where he attends Sunday School and we brought along his friend, Maria who's white.

Before we went in, he turned to Maria and said, "Now, Maria, this is a Chinese Church and you mustn't be afraid but there are HUNDREDS of Chinese people here!!!"

I found what he said funny but then I wondered why he felt the need to "warn" his friend that there would be Chinese people there. I think this is down to the fact that we live in such a predominantly "white" city and that he would have absolutely no contact with anybody from any other ethnic group (except me!) during the week except for that once a week outing to the church, perhaps he thought his friend too wouldn't be used to it?

Anyone else's DD or DS said anything funny?

I have done the lot, dummy, water and trying to give him more during the day. The thing is he doesnt eat that much as it is so it's hard to give him more during the day. He only takes an average 24oz in 24hr and that's about 3/4oz x 6 bottles including the dream feed. How can he not like his food, he is half chinese afterall!!! :-)

I dont pick him up when he's up at 3am as he doesnt really cry. I just give him his dummy and he will go back to sleep, sometimes, straight away but last night it took an hour and i have to keep getting up putting his dummy in for him, which is annoying!!! Anyway, i have also heard that i can try waking him up half an hour or an hour earlier to break his habiat but then i am scared that he might start waking at 2am/2.30am. What do you think?

Pam70, it's funny your ds said that. i cant wait for mine to start talking!!!

Just out of interest, where does everyone live? We live in a small town in Essex. :-)

Sorry DS is asleep at the mo so just answering your question about motherhood, blossom2.

It was very tough for me for the first 4 weeks as this is my first and I am 32 so I have got very used to doing whatever i want and whenever i want. And also i think i was trying too hard to do everything perfectly for my ds so it made it even worse.

Luckily, my mother lives very close by and she helps me a great deal. And I dont think i couldn have done it without her.

But now, i am really enjoying it and my ds is very good really, he's a very happy and contented baby so i dont really have much probs with him.

My husband is also very supportive so I am really enjoying it.

oh Wyls, you could try just leaving him to settle himself?? although i can't remember what i did with DD1. i just remember training her to sleep in the evenings .... sorry i'm not much help.

I'm in paris for another month and then back in the UK, i think there is someone in Ireland and a couple of us in the far east....

I wish someone brought out a book on how to deal with babies second time round when there is a toddler who also has needs .... i'm finding it really hard to cope with 2 ....

wls, i would carry on doing what you are doing for the time being, he is not feeding so after a while will probably just start sleeping through. Try also feeding him more at 11pm and rousing him so he is slightly more awake. We found with our dd that if we woke her for her last feed at 11pm which lasted about half an hour, she slept through till about 6.30/7am and then when she was 6 months, we stopped waking her at 11 and she didn't bother either! she is now 2.5 years, my second is coming in about 6 weeks, am not looking forward to the lack of sleep but look forward to the baby, another girl just like blossom!

Blossomm - they say with the second, it needs to fit around first child but other then that have no advice to give you, but have lots of sympathy and support. Hopefully will have more helpful words when my second arrives and if not at least you know you won't be alone!

pam - LOL, that is sweet! DD has a habit of talking nonsense to me and when i say what are you saying I don't understand, she says mummy i am talking chinese!!!

wlys - I am a london girl! and are you british born or HK born?

Roll on the 3 month milestone ....

hk born. i came over here when i was 15 so i have been here for a while now. The last time i went back to hk was about 10 years ago. I know a very long time but most of my friends and family have also left hk to go to US or canada cos of 1997 so dont really know too many people in hk.

i dream feed my ds at 1030 last night and he woke at 330am again but he went straight to bed so i think i might just carry on with what i am doing for a while ...

I have no idea how i will cope with 2 ... i dont think i am quite ready yet.

How about you girls? Are you all bbc or hkb?

It's my 2nd wedding anniversary this Sat and we are going to the oriental city in edgware for dim sum and then to wing yip to stock up for the month ... i cant wait!!! I know it is not very glam but nothing can beat a good chinese meal. have you girls been there?

I'm the one in Ireland (north!) hence the lack of multiculturalalness and DS's remarks!

Don't want to go on about Gina Ford but I only tried her with DD and she's the second child. I had to as DS was such a nightmare first child that I knew we couldn't go through it with DD and she is one contented baby!

Agree with you about the good Chinese meal - dying for one but dearth of good authentic Chinese restaurants where we are and I'm a rotten cook!

Blossom - how old is DD1? Just trying to work out if she is old enough that you could bath both of them together? We got one of those bath seats (the lie down ones) for DD and put her in the bath with DS from quite early one - it meant we could cut down on 2 bath times. And with DD in the bath seat, my hands were free to wash DS but still able to keep eye on DD. Then I'd get DD out and wrap her in a towel and get DS out and put him into his robe so I could dress the baby first.

I'm british born! London through and through, very boring! My parents are currently on holiday in HK in our village home.

Have heard of the oriental city but not been for a while, have not even been to china town for dim sum for a long time. We do go to loon fung regularly to stock up though! Went with friends and our toddlers for a chinese lunch the other day and our kiddies just spent most of the time spinning the revolving bit in the middle, much to the horror of the young waiter!

W - congrats on the wedding anniversary. Enjoy it!

B - yes they say things get much better at 3 months, I can't remember myself!!!!