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Any chinese mothers out there???

460 replies

blossom2 · 05/01/2005 20:51

I was just wondering

DH is english and DD is a wonderful mix of both of us. people say she looks english/white when out with Dh and chinese when she's out with me!!!

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
SweetFudge · 10/08/2005 19:21

'fraid so, Suzy!

Yingers, I lurve sweet bean soup. Like my Ama used to make for us.

I need to ask this..very embarrassing but had a couple of big sneezes just now and am afraid let some wee out . I stood there mortified. DH thinks it is quite amusing....This has never happened before and I have been half heartedly doing kegels. Will have to redouble my efforts now as this had learned me, this has.

But my question..is this something that will still happen after baby is born?!!!

csa · 10/08/2005 21:03

yes and even worse
trying to be good and doing my pelvic floor exercise everyday now but sooooooo boring!

yingers74 · 10/08/2005 21:04

SF - afraid so! Although it did not happen again until I got pregnant again, perhaps that is because in our non pregnant state there is no baby pushing down on our bladders. Anyway don't worry too much, U are not alone!

SweetFudge · 12/08/2005 13:53

Thanks, girls! I agree the kegels are really tedious, Csa. I try to do them in the car or watching tele but lose my concentration after a bit.

What's everyone up to this weekend? I have two friends coming down tonight for the weekend and they're vegetarian so am hunting for recipes on net and making a summer fruits crumble for afters.

yingers74 · 12/08/2005 22:10

Nice, crumble sounds yummy! Am going over to my mums tomorrow & a friend is going to come over for a natter. Then there is a mela on sunday near my home. Hopefully I will get some rest at some point, I am at that stage in pregnancy where my back is beginning to hurt but dd still wants to be carried!

have a good weekend all x

soyabean · 13/08/2005 17:34

Hello all
MIl and SIL returned to China yesterday (not BA, luckily, though flight still delayed for 6 hours which will have been miserable for them). I have been ill for the 2nd time during their stay which is SO unfortunate, I have felt doubly terrible as I wanted to do stuff with them during their last week here, and make them some nice food etc but have been sleeping half the day and coughing and hot and miserable. Ds2 has had the same thing so we have not been a barrelof fun. And they cant understand why we dont get masses of antibiotics and any other medecine we can lay our hands on...
Anyway, the house feels really quiet without them and we will take a while to get used to it. On the whole I would say the visit went really well, and it was great to be able to spend normal, quietish time with them cos when we go to China it is hectic with hundreds of relations and friends calling, and inviting us round, no time for normal life with the immediate family which is what we want.
I'mtaking the kids to visit my folks in Scotland on Tuesday, then a couple of weeks back at work and then Im off to Shanghai and Beijing with my Mum for a week (its a busy year!)She was born in China and lived in Shanghai for a year when about 10, but has never been back!So 55 years for her and 22 years since I was a student in Shanghai.We will both be shocked I am sure, but it should be exciting.

Hope you are having a nice weekend. Yingers the weather isnt looking too Mela-ish? SF enjoy your last peaceful days! And I'm afraid the leakage with sneezes does continue...But the pelvic floor exercises probably wouldhelp if only anyone managed to do them properly. You sound very domestictaed with jam tarts and fruit crumble, is that normalfor you or 'nesting'?!

SweetFudge · 14/08/2005 18:19

Hope you and Ds2 are recovering speedily, Soyabean. It does sound like your MIL and SIL had some quality time with your family even though you couldn't do all the things you'd planned. And amazing to think you are going to Beijing with your mum. I'd like to be able to see China one day.

Had to giggle at the idea of me being domesticated. Closest I usually get to domestic goddessness is heating our Covent Garden soups in microwave for dinner so DH enjoying goodies while they last.

I think it is the nesting thing which has seen me in the kitchen cleaning floor at 2 a.m. and baking at the same time. I'm just too restless.

Yingers, I do hope you get your rest! Can you update me on how many weeks you are now?

SF

blossom2 · 15/08/2005 03:31

Hi everyone, sounds like everyone is well.

hope the pregnancy is going well yingers.

sorry i havent posted for a while. its 4.00am at the moment and i cant sleep! i've just dreamfed DD2 (almost 6 weeks now) and hopes she sleeps until 6/7am. DD1 is also in our bed and everyone is asleep apart from me .
All is well in the family and we're off on hols tomorrow - small hotel in normandie - for a short break.
we haven't started proceedings yet on moving back - there always seems to be something else to do but will be all stations go once september comes.

does anyone fancy a meet up in November/December?? in london, sounds crazy i know and just before Xmas....

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soyabean · 15/08/2005 18:56

Hello everyone
I just had to say, I am enjoying being on this thread,even though I almost never have time to look properly at MN in general, and havent posted on any other threads for ages. This one feels friendly and chatty and I can keep up, just about! So thanks all of you friendly people for that.
I am off to Scotland with the children to spend time with my side of the family, tomorrow. So probably wont post for a while.
SF your baby will probably come while Im away: I hope it all goes really well, and look forward to hearing all!
Yingers I have lost track of how many weeks you have to go: good luck if its imminent.
And everyone else, enjoy August and speak toyou all soon.

yingers74 · 19/08/2005 23:00

soya - enjoy your holiday in scotland, am sure you will have a lovely time. And agree this is a nice thread to be on!

I am now 29 weeks! SO still 10 weeks to go, although am rather big now so am really feeling it. My dd is of course obilivious to it all!

SF - cleaning floors at 2am, u mad girlie you! I hope it happens to me though as my floors need a good clean. Bizarrely have started baking bread of late! Any more news?

Blossom - hope you are sleeping better now and are having a nice break. Am due 4th nov so probably won't be able to meet in nov/dec but am pretty sure I can make it in the new year if anyone else is interested?

to everyone else - have a good weekend!

yingers74 · 26/08/2005 10:38

where is everyone this week?

am doing good, off to see a friend for lunch which will be nice. She is also pregnant so we can admire each others' bumps!

for those in uk, enjoy the bank holiday.

xx

SweetFudge · 28/08/2005 10:44

Hi everyone,

How are you all? Haven't been on for a reason and a very lovely one at that.

I am very pleased to announce that Maximillian Guo Cheng arrived safe and sound on the 16th August at 4.03 a.m. by emergency c-section. My waters broke at midnight on the 14th August and an induction was started about 8 hours later (due to the GBS) but another 18 hours later, I was still only 2 cm dilated. Baby's heart rate plummeted suddenly, so a c-section it was. It was pretty frightening at the time and also, exhausting by that point. But hearing his first cry was the most exhilirating feeling in the world.

Dh and I can't stop looking at our little boy. All the heartache, the fertility treatments, everything...it has been worth every second.

We're off to DH's parents today to show him off to the relatives!

SF

suzywong · 28/08/2005 11:29

Congratulations and welcome little Maximillian

blossom2 · 28/08/2005 13:08

Many Many congratulations Sweetfudge!!! such great news!!

just found out yesterday that my sister is pregnant with her second and the first is only 15 months!! and my sister-in-law is pregnant as well...

we're all well and looking forward to going home (london) now. although DD1 will be going to french school for 2 months. also just brought a cot/cotbed for DD2 who is being a pickle at the moment in the evenings - wont sleep from 7-11pm. she is beautiful though, and looks much more chinese than DD1 did. her skin colour has also darkened - not sure how or why - anyone else experienced this???

OP posts:
arlynab · 28/08/2005 13:19

Hi, all! Just found this thread. I'm a mix of Chinese and Filipino while my husband is British. We're expecting our first babies (twins) in a few weeks. For the Chinese or mixed-Chinese in this thread, wondered if you ever did the traditional Chinese 1-month 'lie-in'? This is supposed to be a mandatory thing to do for any Chinese who have just given birth with lots of restrictions i.e. not showering, not going out, not reading books, or watching TV, etc. This is supposed to be the time for the mother to recuperate from giving birth. OIn top of this, drinking a lot of Chinese soup with medicine.

While my elder sis did this with 2 of her kids, I doubt I will be strictly following the 'rules' esp. the very traditional ones i.e. not getting any shower or bath.

blossom2 · 28/08/2005 13:51

Welcome arlynab, congratulations on your pregnancy and twins - WOW! hope your pregnancy is going well.

Some of us have done the 1 month - confinement period but i was far to impatient to get out of the house after both my girls were born. Charlotte was about 6 days old when i went shopping and millie was about 7 days old ..... i do feel its a good idea if you can do it, as it really does give you time to recover and enjoy the babies - especially if you have lots of help around.

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yingers74 · 28/08/2005 22:43

SF - a big congrats on the birth of maximillan - what a cool name! Welcome to the world!

And a big welcome to arlynab, we are quite a nice bunch on here so don't be a stranger! And congrats on the twins, am pregnant too but only with the one, i have a dd already though!

confinement - my mum came to stay with me for a month with my dd and she made me allsorts of soups etc and told me not to wash my hair etc etc but I didn't quite do as I was told!!!

hello blossom - can't comment on the`skin colour but when I have my dd2 will look out for it and let you know!

Pam70 · 29/08/2005 21:54

Congratulations SF!! Hope Maximillian isn't keeping you and hubby up too much.

I've been off the computer for a while wrangling with my office. Am now due to return to work 5th Sept after a year's maternity leave.

Dreading it but DD has started nursery this week and DS starts school (P1) on Friday.

Bloosom2 - my DD too looks more Chinese, her skin tone is more olive and she looks like she'll have really straight hair (not enough of it yet to tell for sure) - DS was a complete shock for me cos he has his father's skin tone and a mop of curly hair. If I wasn't around, nobody would think his ma's Chinese.

Although their skin tones are diferent, many who know us often say DD looks like DS. Others who don't know us will say DS looks like DH and DD looks like me.

soyabean · 31/08/2005 14:16

SF congratulations, hope you are all enjoying these first few weeks together and getting some sleep at night!

Arlynab hello, and good luck with your twins. Make the most of these last few weeks without babies!

Blossom2 Our three children are all the same sort of skin colouring, pretty much in between dh (Chinese) and me (white). I dont think any of them had any change in complexion as babies.

The 2 boys look more Chinese I wd say, both have medium to dark brown hair and dd has quite light brown/almost blonde hair.

ds1 and ds2 were both slightly shorter than average where dd is v tall for her age, so she seemed to be following my side and the boys dh's. But ds1 who is 13 has shot up in the last 6 months and now has size 9 feet and is about 1m60 so he seems to be enroute to being talkler than dh too.
All have brown eyes, as do all the other mixed race Chinese/white children we know.

I am off to Shanghai and beijing for ten days next week, lucky me, and without any children!!!

My Mum was born there and lived there for a couple of years but has never been back. (her parents were both British and my grandad was an engineer working all round the far East)

When I was working there Mum had no time/money to visit but she has recently decided she wd like to go. I kindly volunteered my services as a guide so we are off! I havent been abroad for 7 years and havent been to Shnghai since I was a student there 22 years ago so I am very excited. And I havent had more than two night away from the children for many years.That is not my major motivation you understand. Dh is on leave and has been very supportive of the idea which issweet since its his country...Hopefully we will go back to his area with the childrn next year. meanwhile I will have to bring him back a really nice present!

Hope all you Londoners are enjoying the heat and that its not toomuch for the babies.

SweetFudge · 02/09/2005 11:21

Hi everyone!

Thank you for all the congrats! Max is napping now and making little squawking noises as he sleeps. Apologies for the slow response - I've been getting my head round us having a baby (our baby!) and the change to our lives and routines.

Blossom2, Max looks very Chinese and my Mum says he is the splitting image of me when I was a wee baby. His colouring is rather tanned and he has lots of dark hair and very dark eyes.

Yingers, how many weeks are you now?

yingers74 · 06/09/2005 22:55

SF - glad to hear you and baby are doing well.

I am now 31 weeks and 4 days so still some time to go.

Did u use a TENS machine? Have option of having one but am not sure whether it will work!

Hello to everyone else hope u are all good.

blossom2 · 07/09/2005 20:06

Hi everyone

Yingers - not far to go now! it really does fly by.

i'm doing okay but stressing about the fact that DD2 is not going sleeping from 7-11pm (although we did have 30 mins to eat our dinner tonight). She's 9 weeks now and although i'd feel guilty about sleep training, i am so tempted. It would be lovely to have our evenings back again. Anyone else experienced this and how did you get through it???

OP posts:
heymissytoe · 08/09/2005 14:22

I so do not fit into this thread below - but below is a question about a chinese "lie in" below. I am black and dp vietnamese and I thought I heard somewhere that the one month "lie in" after giving birth is a vietnamese tradition - something along the lines that mother and baby don't leave the house for a month - does anyone know if this is true? or do I get slapped wrists for taking up vietnamese interest on chinese thread? any info welcome - thanks

yingers74 · 09/09/2005 18:44

blossom - can't even remember when dd1 started sleeping through hours, i know it was not straight away and I think I just muddled through with a heavy head and a look of terror on my face! Good luck, hope it gets better soon and think in about 6-8 weeks will be there with you!!!

hey - the lie in thing pretty much applies throughout the far east, with slight variations I imagine region from region! No slap wrists for you and welcome to our thread, we are a friendly lot and happy to answer any qs!

yingers74 · 09/09/2005 18:44

blossom - can't even remember when dd1 started sleeping through hours, i know it was not straight away and I think I just muddled through with a heavy head and a look of terror on my face! Good luck, hope it gets better soon and think in about 6-8 weeks will be there with you!!!

hey - the lie in thing pretty much applies throughout the far east, with slight variations I imagine region from region! No slap wrists for you and welcome to our thread, we are a friendly lot and happy to answer any qs!