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Multicultural families

Here's where to share your experience of raising a child or growing up in a multicultural family.

Original poster

another new thread for chinese mums

366 replies

csa · 29/01/2006 20:41

gong xi fa chai!

a new thread for a new year? (good idea yingers)

hope everyone had a good celebration this weekend. us? the closest celebration i got to was speaking to my family on new year's eve and hearing about their reunion dinner

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mummyofeb · 21/05/2006 21:52

Do you mean where was I born? Country where parents are from or where living?

I live in the North East, Co Durham. Moved away from Cambridge nearly 2 years ago. Grew up in London.
Parents are from HK

smorg · 22/05/2006 18:28

You're further North than I am ! I live in Wallasey near Liverpool. Parents are from HK too.How are you settling in Co. Durham?

SnowMum · 22/05/2006 23:11

Hi everyone and welcome mummyofeb.

Just back from a week's hols in Sardinia. Lovely break, gorgeous weather, DD loved playing on the beach (altho she did insist on eating the sand!) bit of a shock to come home to a cold and rainy UK.

Teacakes, we flew with Easyjet and we had DD in her buggy at the airport until we boarded. During the flight we used the Hippychick seat. I was dreading the flight but she was fine. I kept her drink, snacks and a jar of babyfood with me. We fed her on our laps, it was a bit awkward but manageable. In fact we are now thinking of taking DD to HK for CNY next year.

Wyls, hope your DS isn't waking at 5am anymore. Any luck with the blackout blinds? Re the feeding in the early morning, didn't you say he'd been ill? I find my DD goes off her food when she's ill and then makes up for the lost calories when she's better. I have been taking DD to sing and sign for a few months now and she loves it. The groups are quite small and you learn songs and signs. I find its quite sociable and friendly for both mums and tots. DD hasn't picked up any signs yet but I don't practice at home.

Does anyone go to a regular mums and toddlers group? I haven't been to one and all my local ones are church based. As I'm not Christian, I'm unsure about going along. Am I worrying about nothing?

teacakes · 23/05/2006 12:50

hello there mummyofeb.

snowmum, sounds like you had a lovely holiday, bet you are glad to be back in the rain!

i go to the local baby grp that is held by the health visitor. my plan is to go along to as many as possible so can i gain a grp of chums for my DD. why don't you try the churh based grps, you don't have to go back if you don't like them. have you looked at the netmum's site (www.netmums.com/).

wyls, how was your wkend?

mummyofeb · 23/05/2006 13:09

Hello Everyone,
snow mum. why don't you try out the church toddlers group anyway? You don't have to be Christian to join although they are normally run by Christians. I don't think that there are many Christian mums at the toddler group that I go to. It shouldn't be a problem and you'll feel a lot better being with other mothers.

Smorg, Co Durham, I'm afraid is a bit of a hole. It's quite a shock having lived in bigger cities before. Still, I can't see us moving in the next 2 years!

Anyway, catch you all later!

wyls · 24/05/2006 10:39

hi snowmum, sounded like you had an excellent holiday. Can you send me the info of your holiday cos we are looking to go again end of June since our cyprus hol was a bit of a nightmare and this time we are going to go on our own.

My DS is back to his normal routine, no more waking up at 5am.

My weekend was very good. My DS was ever so good, I took him to a birthday party on Sat and then we went shopping at Bluewater on Sun cos the weather was so horrible so we couldnt really go to the party or anywhere outside.

Hope you all had a good weekend too.

wyls · 24/05/2006 11:39

and welcome mummyofeb. How old is your lo?

mummyofeb · 24/05/2006 11:44

Hello wyls.
little boy is 16 months today!
where are you from?

mummyofeb · 24/05/2006 11:45

Just out of interest. Are most of you working mothers? PT? Or Stay at home mums? Me? I'm SAHM at the moment desperately looking for a part time job.

wyls · 24/05/2006 12:55

Hi my DS is 11 months old and he will be 1 on the 10th June.

I am from HK originally and i was born there. I came to live in the UK when I was 16 and i am now living in Rayleigh in Essex. I lived in Cambridge for 4 years while at Uni. We have only moved to Rayleigh 2 years ago, it's a very small town but the people are very nice so we are happy here for now.

I went back to work in April and am working full time from home. Well, I travel into London once a week just for meetings so thats not too bad at all.

What kind of part time job are you looking for? Are you planning to have anymore kids?

teacakes · 24/05/2006 16:15

Snowmum,
when on hols what did you do about car seats whilst in cabs or hire cars? Or do you just hold them real close to you when in a car?

MoFeb,
I was full time in London and now full time stay at home. Toyed with the idea of going back, but after nursery and commuting costs, it does not really seem worth it. (as we don't have family close by) And of course would miss DD too much.

Question for you all - did you get your children christened? There is a Church of England primary in the village and it got me thinking. Neither DH or I are religious but would we get DD christened so she could get into the school.???....

Rojak · 24/05/2006 16:34

I work full time but am desperate to reduce my hours.

I got the kids christened in DH's faith but kids and I attend another church as DH not particularly religious (but his faith required my kids be christened in it).

I also looked at it as a sort of "insurance policy" in case we want kids to go to a particular school - but DS does not attend a faith school.

For travel abroad, I use the sit n stroll (google it) - have had it since DS was born (he is now almost 5) so DD uses it now. It's better for urban areas and less so for rough terrain but it doubles up as car seat and is handy that way

mummyofeb · 24/05/2006 19:32

Very interesting replies.

Whyls, Which college were you at in Cambridge? I was at Catz when I did my postgraduate qualification. dh was at John's.

Am trying to look for part time work in accountancy. No joy I'm afraid, they either want the experience or aat qualification. I was a maths teacher but hated being in a school and want to work with adults. Came to Co Durham when pregnant with ds. So haven't worked for a year and 5 months now!

mummyofeb · 24/05/2006 19:35

Very interesting replies.

Whyls, Which college were you at in Cambridge? I was at Catz when I did my postgraduate qualification. dh was at John's.

Am trying to look for part time work in accountancy. No joy I'm afraid, they either want the experience or aat qualification. I was a maths teacher but hated being in a school and want to work with adults. Came to Co Durham when pregnant with ds. So haven't worked for a year and 5 months now!

wyls · 24/05/2006 19:49

Ha ha i was at anglia polytechnic university in Cambridge. Not the real Cambridge uni. Grin

Good luck in find a part time a job, I am sure something will come up soon.

Now that i am back at work, i just want to be a SAHM. I just cant decide what I want really.

mummyofeb · 24/05/2006 20:25

I think 50 50 is probably the right balance. being a FTM can be quite monotonous and lonely.

TC, not sure whether you could christen your child if you dont' attend church regularly but worth asking about at your local church.
dh and I are Christian and got ds dedicated in our church.

wyls · 24/05/2006 21:00

I think you can if it is church of england but not if it's a catholic church.

I am catholic and my son was christened when he was 6 months. My DH is christian, church of england. We dont go to church every sunday but we should really. Grin

My work wouldnt let me work part time and to be honest I am just moaning really cos i had a crap day today. I dont think I will ever find another employer who will let me work from home full-time.

Rojak · 25/05/2006 10:29

mummyofeb - you may find teaching a pretty good career with kid as you won't need childcare for the school holidays which can be a nightmare to arrange once they're in school! Would you consider going back to teaching a job share role? 2 or 3 days a week - I think schools tend to be more flexible that way. Or perhaps as a relief supply teacher (although that makes childcare a bit more difficult?). Alternatively you coulod look for a job share accountancy position?

wyls - no I doubt you'll find another employer who lets you work from home FT

mummyofeb · 25/05/2006 11:42

Yes, I think that teaching is family friendly in some ways but also extremely stressful. I've been in a school where all the women who left were ones who had a baby and decided that they'd much rather be at home with their child than in a class of 30 nasty 14 year olds!

SnowMum · 25/05/2006 19:34

It is difficult to know what to do when children are school age. Trying to find a job within the education sector seems to make most sense but it isn't very appealing!

Wyls, you are v fortunate to have an employer who will let you work from home FT.

I'm planning to be a SAHM for a few years though goodness knows what I'll do when DD starts school (she's 11 months now so not a problem to face for a while yet!)

SnowMum · 25/05/2006 20:21

Thanks for all the advice on church based moms and tots groups. I have found some non-church based groups and will give those a try next month.

Sorry, not up to speed - been reading back previous posts and discovered I have Q's to answer on my holiday (can't believe I've only been back a few days, feels like ages).

We booked our hotel through \link{http:\www.sardinianvillas.com} and arranged our own flights with Easyjet. We stayed at the Hotel Cala di Falco which is 5 mins from the nearest beach and a fishing village. The local beach is so-so but there is a beach train which will take you to other better beaches (unfortunately not in service when we were there as it only operates during peak season). We didn't do very much, just mooched around the pool and beach and wandered into town for lunch and supplies. We considered hiring a car but couldn't face italian drivers! Grin

Wyls, let me know if you need more info. Teacakes, as we didn't take a car seat (we noticed at the airport that some people did) we had to hold DD tightly to us when travelling by car.

wyls · 26/05/2006 09:44

Thanks snowmum. I will check it out. What are you planning for your DD 1st birthday? It's the 6th June isnt it?

Teacakes, we didnt take a car seat either when we went to cyprus. We also hired a car and you can hire a car seat with the car, carjet or easycars are quite good.

SnowMum · 26/05/2006 22:12

It's 8th June and we're still undecided what to do for her. How are your plans for DS's 1st going?

wyls · 27/05/2006 14:27

Well, we were planning for a bbq but the weather is just so horrible so i am not sure a bbq would be a good idea now. Also, england is playing at 2pm and the party starts at 12pm. I am just going to play it by ear, no point getting stressed out about it.

We have also booked a holiday on the 12th June now, going to portugal. We are very excited, cant wait.

SnowMum · 29/05/2006 22:06

Portugal sounds lovely. Wish I was going away again, why do you feel so exhausted when you get back from holiday?

Looks like we are having a bbq for DD's 1st after all. Got the family coming this Saturday. Yeah, I know its a bit early but my MIL has this bee in her bonnet about celebrating b'days early and not late. Hope the weather will be nice or it'll be a bit squishy on the sofa!