Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Multicultural families

Here's where to share your experience of raising a child or growing up in a multicultural family.

another new thread for chinese mums

366 replies

csa · 29/01/2006 20:41

gong xi fa chai!

a new thread for a new year? (good idea yingers)

hope everyone had a good celebration this weekend. us? the closest celebration i got to was speaking to my family on new year's eve and hearing about their reunion dinner

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
wyls · 23/02/2006 15:56

Thank you!!! Good luck everyone and i shall let you know how i get on. My boss is great and for a man he's very understanding.
Got to go now cos my DS might have chicken pox!!! Great!!! There is always something. :-)

HeyBaby · 24/02/2006 10:24

WYLS - do you mind if I ask what you do? I had agreed with my direct line manager that I would go back to work on a PT basis with flexible hours (ie 2 days in office and 1 day from home) and I thought everything was in place. I emailed him for confirmation as I am looking to finalise DS's nursery place (!) and was somewhat shocked to hear from HR that there are lots of formal procedures to follow!

NOT happy. Spoke to another lady who just returned from maternity leave in Dec and she said she had a nightmare trying to go PT let alone WFH (and we both report to the same director). Anyway I received the forms yesterday and basically you have to justify how you can still contribute at the same level but with the "changed working arrangement". Obviously you can't do a 5 day job in 3 days so I'm not sure what this is all about. It also asks how the company will benefit from allowing you to change your working arrangements etc. My friend at work said that it seems like the employer has to show that they are being "fair" so they make the procedures complicated as possible so that YOU are the one deciding it's just not worth it trying to change your hours etc.

Has anyone else encountered this? Any advice?

Rojak · 24/02/2006 13:21

HeyBaby - some links for you but basically you have a right to apply and your employer has a duty to consider your request.

Some of the reasons you could give about benefits for your company could be increased loyalty, which means more motivated staff. Better staff retention hence lowered recruitment and training costs?

Links below:

DTI

articles

tiger

Hope this helps and let me know how you get on as I will be putting in request after April (has to be after April as on project at the minute and request is likely to be turned down now)

wyls · 24/02/2006 13:39

Heybaby, I am shocked to hear that too. I havent heard from HR yet as my boss is in the process of talking to them so I will keep you posted.

I am a software testing manager so it is possible to do what i do from home as long as i have a pc and a phone line to connect to the interent. I was working from home before i was on my maternity leave and i didnt have any problems in terms of doing my work or communicating with my team and other people in the office. There are many home workers in my company so I hope everything is going to be ok.

How about you? What do you do, Heybaby?

Rojak, that's very useful. Thanks.

HeyBaby · 25/02/2006 00:05

I thought you must be an IT person ... Before I left on maternity leave I was working as a Project Manager in the Finance team. The project I was heading was very tight timewise therefore the long hours. When I return it will be probably more as project support but on larger global change projects.

I actually did speak with my manager today. Apparently the director of our team has agreed on my part time basis but advised that he has now set a precedent wrt the other lady (my friend) who returned to work by not allowing her to work from home. There was a recent restructure so my friend (who reports to the same director) did not report to this director before maternity leave hence apparently he does not know what she is like as an employee and hence was reluctant to let her work from home unless/until he is sure she can work autonomously. So whilst ordinarily they would be happy for me to work at home 1 day a week (as I have been working for this team/director) for a couple of years, they can't allow me to work from home without "rocking the boat" so to speak. I'm not really happy with this situation but I'm not sure what I can do about it, especially as the other lady and I perform similar roles. I feel like I have "done my time" to prove myself (particularly with the hours I was working during my late pregnancy) but I am now forced into an unwanted position due to office politics.

There is no technical reason why I can't work from home one day a week (and my manager has previously agreed with this) but it seems that approval can't be given because of reasons stated above. Whilst they have agreed I can return on a PT basis, do I have any rights on the WFH/flexible hours front in this situation?

HeyBaby · 25/02/2006 00:08

Sorry - I think there is a "close brackets" in the wrong place in my last message.

BTW - Rojak - thanks for the links. Just had a quick look and may look to use them later on if I decide to push any further, although I honestly don't know a way around my WFH dilemma. Any suggestions would be appreciated!

wyls · 25/02/2006 08:24

Heybaby, the reason that they wont let you WFH is not a good enough reason. Your boss's concern and the other lady's performance is not related to your quality of work and your ability to WFH. It's like saying that if 1 person in the team has a pay rise due to good performance then everyone else should also get pay rise cos your boss doesnt want to upset everyone else in the team.

If you have previously worked from home and have proved that it has no affect on your work/performance then I dont see why you cant work 1 day a week from home when u return to work.

I think you need to emphasis on that point definitely. Can you not suggest to your boss that you are happy to have a 3 months probation period claus in your new working arrangement(maybe same for the other lady). During that time him and HR can measure/check your work to ensure that it has met the company/team objectives and etc? To enable them to measure your work, you will probably need to set some objectives yourself and then present them to your boss and agree/disagree whether or not they are ok.

Is there a reason why you need to work from home? i.e my reason is that cos i have to pick and drop off my ds at the nursery, the earliest i can get into work is 10am and i have to leave at 4pm on the dot. Even though we have a flexible working hours, our normal working day is 7 hours. Since i can only do 5-6 hours then i will have to either make up my hours (which is not possible) or i have to go part time.

Anyway, i told him that he can get more out of me when i am at home and that i can always finish off my work in the evening if i needed to.

Just one more thing, i know it might be a bit harsh and i know the other lady is your friend but you need to concentrate on you and what you can get. What your boss going to do with the other lady is a separate issue and i know it's hard but maybe try not to discuss with the other lady too much about what is going on until you have a confirmation from your boss and HR.

Hope this helps.

HeyBaby · 25/02/2006 08:54

WYLS - I know what you are saying and I agree, however I also know that the other lady will escalate the issue if she finds out I am allowed to work from home. She has already been to see the CEO personally and the HR Director because she was unhappy about the procedure for going part-time and previously she had seen the CFO when she had issues with her previous director. Obviously my director is trying to save himself the same kind of heartache. Not great I know, but I'm going to have to think carefully about the case/strategy I put forward. Your suggestions are really helpful, but not sure whether this will be enough.

I worked from home during the last week of maternity leave only but then again so did the other lady (whilst she was working for her previous director). But my manager knows that I can work autonomously and previously said he has no problems with me working from home 1 day a week as long as I can be a bit flexible.

My reasons are similar to yours. We're supposed to work a 7.5 hour day but of course no one really sticks to those hours and often you have to work longer hours to get the work done. Our day care hours are 8am to 6pm so I would get into work at 9am and finish at 5pm. Whilst this faciliates an 7.5 hour day (if I have 0.5 hour for lunch), I inevitably foresee an overrun of work (because workloads almost always take more than a 7.5 hour day) so saving the 2 or so hours of travel time at least for 1 day would provide some "catch up" time.

The other lady has been told that her situation will be reviewed in 4 months time (so around April/May) so not sure what will come of that.

wyls · 25/02/2006 09:08

heybaby, i dont know what else to suggest ...

Can you find something more local? That might be another option but obviously the pay is not going to be that great.

Do u work in London?

HeyBaby · 25/02/2006 19:01

I receive emails from recruitment agencies (ie automatically generated to match the words "part time") but I have to say that there are very few PT positions in London (yes, we live in London too) let alone ones that are more local to us! I currently work in the city but had been hoping to find something closer to home (eg West End) but there are hardly any PT positions full stop let alone ones paying the same rate and closer to home!

wyls · 25/02/2006 20:01

Yes i know what you mean about finding a part time job. Unless you are looking at receptionist, pa or general admin type of jobs.

I work in the West End. Cleveland Street, you know it?

Rojak · 25/02/2006 21:26

Hi Girls

Copied this from the ACAS website:

Do employees have the right to work flexibly?

Parents of children under the age of six or disabled children under the age of eighteen have the right to apply to their employer to work more flexibly. The request can cover hours of work, times of work and place of work and may include requests for different patterns of work.

The request must be made in writing and the employer has a statutory duty to consider the request seriously and to refuse it only if there are clear business grounds for doing so. Employees making applications for flexible working have the right to be accompanied at meeting by a fellow employee.

If you look at the first line of the second paragraph of the answer, it states that the employer can refuse the request for flexible working IF there are clear business grounds for doing so.

HeyBaby, it doesn't sound to me like your employer has clear business grounds for refusing your request t work from home.

I suggest that the best thing to do is to get your request to work flexibly whether that's part time hours and from home in writing to your company.

If they turn you down and you find that the grounds for turning you down are not on business grounds, then I suggest you speak to someone in ACAS (or a union if you are a member) and see how you can appeal.

Sometimes the threat of litigation or tribunal especially if a company has very clearly not followed procedure is enough to make them stop and re-consider your request.

Also, perhaps instead of looking for part time jobs, perhaps you should look for job sharing positions. Part-time jobs, the higher up the corporate ladder you are, are rare and most part time positions are negotiated in house (where if you get one, you're unlikely to leave for a good long while!).

Job shares - you may find like minded women in other companies looking to reduce hours like yourselves.

Hope this helps.

HeyBaby · 26/02/2006 12:23

Girls - thank you so much for your help. I'm not looking at going back until June this year and as it turns out I am off to Australia for 7 weeks on Saturday to see my family so I am going to discuss this further with my manager when I return (when we actually go through my role description and 2006 goals etc).

It's nice to have such great support and ideas from you all though. Thanks so much. Will keep you posted ....

wyls · 26/02/2006 18:52

Have a good trip and dont worry too much i am sure it will all work out fine.

wyls

Rojak · 26/02/2006 20:43

Enjoy yourself - I'm - am not due to visit my family till early July (a loooooong way off)

wyls · 28/02/2006 20:29

Just want to let you know that I also need to fill in a form for HR!!! Will keep you posted.

Btw, where is everyone else? How is everybody? How's your lo doing?

blossom2 · 28/02/2006 22:44

i'm here!! just about. we're still in 'illnessland' and no one seems to be leaving anytime soon Smile!!

have been reading but have been to exhausted to post. will post soon more.

hope it all goes well wyls and hope everyone else is well...

still fancy a london meet up for dim sum??

blossom2 · 28/02/2006 22:44

i'm here!! just about. we're still in 'illnessland' and no one seems to be leaving anytime soon Smile!!

have been reading but have been to exhausted to post. will post soon more.

hope it all goes well wyls and hope everyone else is well...

still fancy a london meet up for dim sum??

wyls · 01/03/2006 08:17

Hi blossom, i know what you mean. I have this cough for about 3 weeks now and my DS too. He also need to go to hospital tomorrow for a check up cos they found blood in his urine a couple of weeks ago but it should be ok.

Hope you all feel better soon, blossom.

I am up for meeting up, what date are we looking at? I am off on holiday in mid mar and pretty free in April.

Rojak · 01/03/2006 10:31

BTW - many thanks for your recommendations. We had a great weekend in London. The Science Museum (basement) was a real hit with both the kids and the London Eye too.

We had dim sum at some place in Chinatown, didn't make it to Oriental City but did get to the Harrods Food Hall for some over priced lunch! But it was all good fun.

oh and I picked up some "Yau Char Kuay" type things in Chinatown for a snack post lunch DELISH

soyabean · 01/03/2006 15:14

Hi everyone. Have been so busy recently, not allowed myself MN time, but think a few minutes now and then cant hurt...
How are all the babies? Belated happy new year to all. Dh is a dog and feels under pressure to 'do something' with his life this year. He felt the same 12 years ago of course, poor thing.

blossom2 · 01/03/2006 18:50

i'm glad you had a good time Rojak whilst you were over. Smile

how did your DD1's birthday party go tt2bg??

march is not a good month for me as its DD1's birthday, Dh is away from about 14 days and PIL are visiting so generally its completely manic.

but completely free from April onwards. should we discuss last week in march ...

feeling very happy tonight - just booked our summer holiday - one week with Club Med in Tunsia!! cant wait

trying2bgood · 04/03/2006 23:47

Hello everyone,

dd1's party went very well and am glad that I hired an entertainer as I needed the time to do all the cooking! Madness having 17 toddlers running around your house.

How is everyone? Have been very busy so have not been logging onto mumsnet lately.

Rojak · 08/03/2006 16:53

Hello all, how's everyone? Where's csa lately? She hasn't been here in ages!

I am just back from a weekend of spa and relaxation with a girlfriend, no kids or DHs, no laundry, messy house, cooking - just pure time-for-myself-selfishness bliss

Cannot recommend this sort of time out enough!

wyls · 09/03/2006 12:47

Hiya everyone, my DS is ill again and this time he's got tonsillitis. We had to take him to the hospital on Mon night cos we couldnt get his temp down, it was 104/40C. After seeing about 3 docs and 6 hours later, he was finally diagniosed with tonsillitis. And that's all because i kicked up a fuss with them. To begin with they didnt think there was anything wrong with him and was going to send me home telling me that i should just give him calpol. I mean why do they do that? I didnt wait for 6 hours at the hospital for them to tell me something that I already know.

Anyway, he's better today and has started to get back to his normal self.

Sorry to go on and i hope everyone is well. I am off to Cyprus next week for a week hol, i am so looking forward to it.

Speak soon

Wyls x

Swipe left for the next trending thread