Active discussions

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Multicultural families

Here's where to share your experience of raising a child or growing up in a multicultural family.

Original poster

aren't they just the best!

135 replies

kateandfelicity · 10/11/2005 13:32

Hi everyone...

I just wanted to write and gloat with everyone on just how exceptionally beautiful multicultural / mixed children are!!!!

dd is 6 months... she is 1/4 vietnamese, 1/4 Amercian, 1/4 socttish and the rest is english, irish, spanish and morrocan.

Mummy may be biased, but she thinks dd is the most beautiful thing... asian shaped eyes... but big like mine... they are slate grey/blue with flecks of brown in the middle and shes got light brown hair...

for more gloating satisfaction pls see. www.mymane.net (see album Felicity Grace Robinson)

thought would be nice to see lots of other pics and stories of other families... to sort of celebrate our moggy family (did think of calling her Mog... but then, I do want dd to have SOME friends at school!!!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
JennyLee · 14/01/2006 20:02

it is you actually, you are still talking about it, after this post to you I will leave it for a while. I give YOU the last word then go on post again have the last word, it is yours....

Meanoldmummy · 14/01/2006 20:02

Oh God is this thing not dead yet?

stinkweasel · 14/01/2006 20:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

stinkweasel · 14/01/2006 20:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Lucy99 · 14/01/2006 22:47

I have read through this thread and think that you are finding unpleasantness in the original posts where none was meant. Yes, they probably were worded thoughtlessly but I really don't think that they were meant to be racist against white children. People say things without thinking and its easy to take offense. IMO some of you are being hyper sensitive. As mum to a mixed race daughter (i am white btw) you have to shrug off what could be taken as negative comments ALL the time. 'oh isn't she light/dark' 'oh, is she yours' 'at least her hair isn't too frizzy' etc etc. If I got as het up by these as some of you have and demanded apologies I would have a miserable time so I ignore them and thank god for my beautiful unique child. I think a lot of mums of mixed race children like to post in this section because it is somewhere that they can escape from any negativity and seek advice/share experiences. The original poster actually finished her post by saying she thought it would be nice to see other pics of mixed kids and celebrate mixed families. What a shame it has turned into something so unpleasant.

Meanoldmummy · 15/01/2006 08:18

"multicultural babies have 'hybrid vigour' they just better in every way and cuter and more beautiful"

This was the remark which caused all the offence, Lucy. I still find it unacceptable. The OP didn't cause any offence and hasn't been criticised, but the poster of the above remark went on to be very rude.

I know what it's like to have to shrug off insults and thoughtlessness. My younger son has a large birthmark on his face and I have had to deal with unbelievable responses - I've even been stopped and accused of throwing boiling water over him! I do ignore and shrug off comments because, as you say, life takes over and there's a limit to how much of my and my son's time I want to waste getting upset about the birthmark and people's attitudes.

However, this is a discussion forum, and I was appalled to find such a crass and hurtful remark posted on it for all to see. Had I posted that my blonde blue-eyed boys were much more attractive and "better in every way" than any mixed-race child could ever be, I would have been slated. I know you have to deal with these attitudes in everyday life, but that's wrong, and so is this. It's part of the purpose of a forum like this, to be able to challenge ignorance and prejudice. I still think an apology would have been appropriate. But the poster's later responses made it clear that she was incapable of owning up to a mistake. So I won't be joining in any further discussion. I just felt as the original demander of an apology I should explain my position.

nanneh · 15/01/2006 12:14

Mean - I totlly agree with much of what you have said. Any idea that a mixed race or non-mixed race is more beautiful, is more itelligent, etc is utter rubbish.

I know someone who is a very pretty, blonde, blue eyed English rose who is married to a very good-looking man from the Far East and they have a small son who does not even remotely resemble his parnets, i.e his mixed race or the fact that he has beautiful parents made no difference to the son's looks whatsoever.

On the other hand we have a son who is NOT mixed race, and is far more beautiful than either myself or my DH (DH has lost most of his hair !!) in fact DS is so beautiful I sometimes think wait a minute, is he really ours ??!!

In my experince and from many observations of parents and children, there is absolutely no correlation between the parent's looks and the child's looks and there is no correlation between race and beauty.

In fact there was a chap called Hitler who said that "Aryans" where the most beautiful and the most intelligent because they were blonde and blue-eyed (total rubbish again as the original "Cacasians" or "Aryans" are from the Caucasus, i.e. in Central Asia and they are not blonde or blue eyed)...the rest is a very targic episode in history.

I think any discussion of beauty or intelligence based on race is very, very dangerous and I can see how it would be very offensive to many people.

Meanoldmummy · 15/01/2006 12:19

Nanneh - EXACTLY. It really was the superiority claim that upset me. There is no correlation between race and beauty, and it is obscene to label any group of children as better than another. And I agree about kids sometimes being much more beautiful than their parents - I often look at my boys and they take my breath away, they are so beautiful it hurts. The poster's remark made me feel really hurt and slighted, on my own behalf and my children's, as though someone was trying to take away some of my joy and pride in them just because they don't come from a mixed race background. Ideally we should all be able to agree that children are a precious gift, whatever background they are born into, and not use them as footballs in political/racial struggles at all.

nanneh · 15/01/2006 12:33

I have just read the rest of the thread and not realised how heated it had become at some stage - oppppsss- hope I haven't resuurected a nasty thread once again - something I am rather good at doing these days !!

I can see why the original poster probably meant no offense at all - she is just proud to have a pretty baby - but it seems to have turned nasty at some stage

nanneh · 15/01/2006 13:39

mean - as an aside I am disgusted that anyone could accuse you of throwing boiling water over your child. I have a cousin abroad who has the most beautiful daughter...she was born with a large red mark on one side of her face...she is so beautiful with big brown eyes and long, brown curly hair...gorgeous child !

Meanoldmummy · 15/01/2006 14:08

am used to it now nanneh - but it is quite shocking at first having to deal with that sort of reaction. It hasn't spoilt my enjoyment of my beautiful son tough, I'm pleased to say.

stinkweasel · 15/01/2006 14:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Meanoldmummy · 15/01/2006 14:49

Good on your friend!!! My best put-down came from DS1 (aged 2.5 at the time) - we were at the hospital when DS2 was about five weeks, we were having about 5 appts per week for different reasons (two buses with two kids every time) and on this occasion we were in the left after a particularly savage meeting with four different doctors. Two old women came in and started clucking and glaring at him, and one said to the other "it's wicked". I wasn't up to challenging her and DH just looked ashen. Then DS1 leaned over towards them and started crooning "ooooollllld, oooooolllld, ooooollld!!!" at them really nastily!! Normally I would have told him off - but then, normally he wouldn't have done it. I think he was standing up for his little brother. He's certainly been doing so ever since!!

stinkweasel · 15/01/2006 14:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

suzywong · 15/01/2006 15:27

has this thing kicked off yet?

well my boys each look like a bag of spanners

Meanoldmummy · 15/01/2006 15:52

Ah yes...but they are YOUR spanners, and therefore beautiful!!!

Nightynight · 15/01/2006 16:11

Interesting thread.
Must admit, I have always secretly felt that mr babies are the cutest (have never admitted this before)...I wonder if that is because mine are mr, and I therefore feel subconsciously that other mr babies are more like mine?

I have wondered in the past, if current trends continue, ie people travelling a lot and marrying across cultures, whether one day everyone will look the same, that is, multi-racial.

There is an interesting study of beauty, that says that if you superimpose 100 photos of random people on top of each other, and then take the exact average for the position of the eyes, nose etc, that will result in the most beautiful face. I wonder if our impressions of multi-racial babies as being cuter is somehow related, that is, a sort of averaging out of features/colour etc?

I really hope that this post won't cause any offence to anyone, as that is not my intention. It is just my own feelings, and I am claiming to speak for anyone else, or that my feeling is any more valid than anyone else's.

expecting · 15/01/2006 20:41

I do think some white people in particular (I am White by the way) often make an issue of how beautiful mixed race children are and would even go as far as to say that they do it with black people as well. For instance, people often say how gorgeous my husband is (who's black)but they go overboard with it. He is handsome but the way they go on about it you'd think he was some kind of super god. I'm sure it's often well meant but it does make me wonder why they feel the need to say it quite so often and to such an extreme. I wouldn't say I'm offended by it but it is irritating at times. This is my experience and I'm not suggesting that all or even a large number of white people do this, but there is a percentage whom it applies to. The last thing I want to do is offend anyone but I think we have all met/heard of someone who equates aesthitics with the colour of someones skin. My son is mixed race and he is absolutely gorgeous. I adore his chocolate skin and his almond shaped eyes which are the darkest brown colour I have ever seen but I adore them because he is my baby and because mums love everything about their babies (I even loved his big dumbo like ears when he was tiny - they're normal size now). If my baby was white, had blue eyes and blonde hair I'd adore those features too. It is a shame that this thread became a bit unpleasant as I agree with others that jennylee thought her post was innocuous(sp?) but it has raised interesting points. Nightynight, did you think mixed race children were cuter before you had kids? If not, maybe it is as you say - that you pay more interest to other mixed kids as they resemble your own.

Nightynight · 16/01/2006 13:15

expecting,
I don't remember having such strong feelings about babies before I had mine! so I am sure it is that.

expecting · 17/01/2006 00:18

Same here. Had no interest in babies at all - now I can't stop looking at them . V broody at the mo which makes it even worse!

handlemecarefully · 17/01/2006 00:24

Lol, just had a good old laugh at this. Shall I post a picture of me, my kids, my house, my car and my anal sphincter? - it can be found at the following web address www.mybumholeincloseup.net

handlemecarefully · 17/01/2006 00:29

Now I am regretting that and thinking it was a bit too caustic. Sorry kateandfelicity, I have a pet hate of blog style thingy's. My problem I guess rather than yours! Apols.

Your dd is quite sweet btw

Aloha · 17/01/2006 00:39

Um, I have two very English-looking children - green/blue eyes, fairish hair etc and I don't find Jennylee's post offensive in the slightest. I am quite baffled by this thread. Her comment was no more racist than the thread title itself (which I am also OK with). It was, surely, a throwaway, spontaneous comment. Honestly, I don't get it. I don't suppose Jennylee thinks it is the most profound thing she has ever written, but it's not abusive or anything.

Lucy99 · 17/01/2006 10:09

Thank god Aloha, thought world was going mad! Thought maybe I was missing something as just can't see what all the drama is about. Whole thread just got a bit ridiculous imo! Hope JennyLee has read this thread since her last post and realises that we don't all think she is racist!

Kelly1978 · 17/01/2006 10:45

I agree with aloha. I have two children who are blonde and blue eyed, and two who are mixed race, with darker, more asian features. They are very different and are equally beautiful. The comment was not meant to be taken literally and was not said with racist intent.

Aside from that, posting a whole album isn't the wisest thing to do online. Also, I didn't think the baby looked particularly mixed race, but maybe that's just my perception.