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Original poster

How much do I charge my 20 yr old daughter to live at home?

196 replies

mumofthreex · 12/02/2010 20:51

I would like to know what is the normal amount, and how much it costs to keep them, especially how much I should charge without me making profit. I am a working single mum and buy all her food and make her dinners, special vegetarian meats too.
Anyone who does this for their child and can give any kind of amount they take and breakdown of what it goes to.
This would really help us out as we're having trouble agreeing on what's an appropriate amount.

Thanks in advance

OP posts:
dilbar · 13/08/2011 11:13

It's all well and good to say that you shouldn't charge rent to adult offspring - gaelicsheep - but they may be the person putting up C Tax from 75% to 100%. It may be because of them you have a more expensive Broadband and phone bill, and they spend hours in the shower. They need to learn the value of money and about the cost of living. And some offspring are still in the parental home into their 30's and beyond.
So don't let her think that she is forever going to be onto an easy thing while you work on into your 60's. And when offspring do leave home if you need more income you could try the rent-a-room scheme. If more people did we wouldn't need to build so many new homes.

Gonzo33 · 14/08/2011 08:37

I haven't read all the pp's but when I was 20 and living at home I paid a 1/4 of my wage to my parents per month (worked out £120). I am glad they did that because it taught me the value of budgeting.

My parents did save half of that monthly amount and give it back to me when I bought my first place, but I did not know that they were doing that.

Adversecamber · 14/08/2011 14:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

higgle · 15/08/2011 20:59

If either of my sons want to come home after uni they can, and we would be pleased to have them here while they save up for their own houses. If they want to come back we'll stay in this 4 bed house, but if not w would move to a 2 bed one instead. This house is more expensive to run, it would cost to feed them and so I'd ask for a contribution of £50 per week for their food and towards bills. Although DH and I have reasonable incomes we have alredy noticed that our sons have far more disposable income than we do from their part time jobs and when they have full time incomes they cannot expect to live scott free.

Pavlovthecat · 15/08/2011 21:04

30-50%, depending on whether this includes 'rent' only, or includes contribution to bills/food etc and how much more she will increase those bills by. What about housework/cooking etc? will she contribute/how much? will that be worth a lot in saving time and worth reducing charge to compensate?

Pavlovthecat · 15/08/2011 21:05

sorry did not read the whole post {oops}

tryingtokeepittogether3 · 16/03/2015 08:14

This may be an old topic, but one relevant to lots of families. My 19 year old is currently not working, not helping round the house, claiming Job Seekers Allowance, leaves everything switched on whether in the house or not - computer, modem, phone chargers, etc. I never know what to charge - I started with £20 per week, then struggled to get it from them and the look of disgust at me asking put me off for 3 months! My family are struggling financially though hubby works full time, myself part time and food bills, electricity, oil are astronomical despite buying from the cheapest stores and a clothing bill that is also from sales, charity as growing boys are expensive. They don't get everything they want as we cannot afford it and the eldest not contributing and pulling his weight is a strain on the family. Some would say put him out but we live in an area where it would be very easy for him to take drugs/alcohol to excess and I would never forgive myself if something were to happen to him. Help!

andaz123 · 11/08/2015 23:49

personally i would not charge,firstly time spent whilst son living at home is enough for me.secondly,its hard enough for kids once they do move out so to keep his wage whilst living at home and enjoy it is not too much to ask as they soon have mortgage etc once they move out :)))

nadiwombat1970 · 12/08/2015 14:27

I think you are absolutely right to be charging her board! How else will she appreciate that she is now an adult, should contribute and that to live independently will cost even more!
I'm not sure it's fair for people to comment and make you feel bad or greedy to be charging her.
Unfortunately many children today just expect and don't think about assisting at home.
If you choose to save some of her contribution to give back to her later in a lump sum, that may be nice, but again that's your choice.
A third is reasonable and it's what my parents charged me when I lived at home and that, I was more than happy to give!

shitebag · 12/08/2015 14:32

I moved out when I was 16 so never had to pay anything but my 20 year old brother pays £50 a week, my Mum would love to support him but its just not doable in her circumstances as is the situation for many.

Pammie70 · 01/09/2015 19:06

My Son has just left college and will start paying board this week. We have agreed 1/3 of his take home pay up to a maximum of 40 hours. As some weeks he does up to 60 hours and at quieter times only does 20. As a single parent I have taken a massive reduction in household income now he has left full time education and without his contribution things will be tight, but at the end of the day he is an adult and why shouldn't he learn that it costs money to run a house. I paid a 1/3 to my parents and she did the same to hers at least that way it didn't come as such a shock when I got my own home.

lotsoffunandgames · 01/09/2015 23:47

I think it is perfectly normal to charge rent for a working 20 year old. I had moved out by then as had alot of my friends and we were spending most our wages in rent.council tax, bills and food etc. Still had enough to budget nights out.
I think £150 - £200 per month minimum. If dd is working 30 hours a week ( I think op said) then she can easily afford £40 - £50pw. But saying that it does depend on her take home pay.

Finallyonboard · 02/09/2015 00:01

If my DC wanted to move home at 20, I'd be so delighted I wouldn't charge a penny! I was never expected to pay any money when I lived at home either.

MaggysMum · 05/05/2016 09:41

My 40 year old daughter is considering moving back in with me. She's unemployed on £100 a week and has certain mental health issues which make life difficult for everyone. I'm 70 and get my pension but do residential work one week in four and pay to keep her car on the road. What should I charge her? I feel for her own self respect she should contribute.

Lulu1960 · 24/02/2017 17:50

The government have set Job seekers allowance at just over £70 pw plus you would get help with rent/council tax. The £70 is to cover food, utilities, tv licence, insurance and toiletries. I therefore think £50 pw if it includes all of the above (perhaps not toiletries) is about right. ~It is important that our adult children contribute to their keep even if the parents don't need the money particularly as so many seem to think they are entitled to live off mum and dad for as long as they like. They also need to get into managing their money for when they live independently. As parent we are not doing them any favours if we let them live at home for nothing.

teenagetantrums · 24/02/2017 17:57

My ds and his girlfriend live here they are 22 and at uni. They pay 1/2 rent and electric and gas., and but their own food. Its,still massively cheaper than their student accommodation last year. I cant afford to pay for them and l did give up my bedroom for them. There is plenty of give and take of they are skint l will feed them but they are adults now welcome to the real world

OnHoldAgain17 · 24/02/2017 21:23

If you do not wish to take a cash contribution (whether to spend or save)

I believe that doing chores inside or outside the home should be agreed and actioned. This may involve helping another local relative or neighbour

I think that young people should be encouraged to be independant

Living at home is not the same as living out

OnHoldAgain17 · 24/02/2017 21:33

MaggysMum

If you were not still working at 70 could you afford to pay for your daughters car ?
Who pays the petrol ?

If you stopped paying for your daughters car would it encourage her to get a job ?

Yes she should contribute (even if it is pay towards her car, you could tell her it is for other bills)

I hope you have some agreement about household chores as well

Jenice · 24/02/2017 21:53

When I started my first job after education my mum asked for £160 per month which was about 1/4 of my wages. At the time I was shocked but looking back that was a bargain. I was oldest of 5 children and money was always tight and looking back my parents had next to no disposable income for themselves as they tried to provide for us. I'm glad she did that because it was a gentle intro to adult life.

Financially things are different for me and my children but when they are out of education if they still live at home I will ask them to contribute and if I don't need the money I will put it aside for helping them onto the property ladder but won't tell them until they are at that stage.

MumOfTwoMasterOfNone · 25/02/2017 11:38

Well for a start, you lose child benefit once they're an age to be able to contribute/move out of home, so should definitely be charged a % of the 'bills'. I paid £25 a week 14 years ago, I definitely cost more than that to keep. I didn't earn a lot though, £500 a month and transport costs around £130! At least it taught me how to budget and manage my money though.

RortyCrankle · 25/02/2017 16:29

Those of you not charging your working adult children to remain at home aren't doing them any favours IMO. When they move into rental or shared accommodation, they will be in for a huge shock. And why shouldn't an adult contribute plus it will teach them about managing their budget etc and the realities of life?

In 1961 in my first job I earned £6.10 shillings a week and paid my parents £2, the remainder I spent on clothes, make up and going out. They did in fact save the money I paid them and gave it to me when I moved into my own place but I didn't know they were going to do that and was happy to contribute.

WhisperedLoudest · 25/02/2017 16:31

I can't imagine charging my DC money to live in their home Confused

dickiedavisthunderthighs · 25/02/2017 22:15

I can't imagine any decent parent not charging adult DC bed and board. Our job as parents is to teach DC to be fully functioning adults, not enabling them to extend childhood as long as is humanly possible. It's bonkers.

BobbieDog · 25/02/2017 22:22

My mum used to charge £200 a month and i had to buy my own food, washing powder and toiletries out of it.

This is going back 10 years and tbh i was on minimum wage and it was alot back then.

It didnt actually cost her anymore to have me there or not as she wasnt on a water meter, i didnt make her rent or council tax any higher, the heating would of been on whether i was there or not etc.

She used to put the money seperate to the house hold things and used to use it so she had money for car repairs, vet bills, dog grooming etc.

Blushingm · 28/02/2017 14:56

My stbexh lives back with his parents now. They are mortgage free and comfortable- he reckons he pays the £260 a month