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Original poster

Pressing charges for rape

554 replies

JustThinking · 22/05/2005 22:36

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pixiefish · 24/05/2005 14:19

can't read this and not comment. i think you're a very strong person and you're doing the right thing. people musn't be allowed to get away with this. Hope you continue to find the strength to deal with this- it's hard but it gets easier

Titania · 24/05/2005 14:24

JT I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. I can relate to what you are going through. I am still struggling now to deal with it TBH but I hope you find a way forward, get help you need and make the right decisions for you.

ithinkiknowyoutoo · 24/05/2005 14:39

I think I know you too
well done for reporting it
xxx

Original poster

JustThinking · 24/05/2005 14:50

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Evesmama · 24/05/2005 15:53

hi honey

how are you doing today? are the tablets helping?

i went to counselling(rapecrisis) and i sat and cried most of the tiem...i think it hit me more when i had my daughter and could do with some more now.
i now have a CPN who visits monthly to help me out with 'life'!

im so glad you found the courage to see someone
although you wont forget, you WILL learn to put it to the back of your mind.

have you told any of your family? do you see much of them?enouugh for them to notice something is wrong with you

alicatsg · 24/05/2005 16:29

JT - you did the right thing. And tbh I don't think you should have any concern about f-ing his life up. He did that all by himself when he forgot you have rights too.

I think you should be really proud that you were brave enough to report this. Its really not easy.

galaxy · 24/05/2005 21:39

Thought long and hard before posting but just wanted to say I admire you for being braver than I was when this happened to me.

I didn't report it for the same reasons you didn't - I was drunk and to this day I'm convinced my drink was spiked.

Hope you can get through this with support from your friends. I have an inkling who you are but not entirely sure so wont contact you.

bossykate · 24/05/2005 23:17

at how many of us have been through something like this.

jt, you are a marvel, well done, you are so strong.

iayf, wow, she is lucky to have you.

lemonice · 24/05/2005 23:24

I'm also shocked at the number of people who have an experience of rape, I'm not cat enabled just send you hope and strength every day .. xxx

Flossam · 25/05/2005 12:19

Just bumping this to see how you are today JT. xx

beetroot · 25/05/2005 12:30

This reply has been deleted

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desperatehousewife · 25/05/2005 12:42

Good luck and well done. very very brave. Hats off to you, you should feel very proud.

whymummy · 25/05/2005 12:44

i'm so sorry you're going through this justthinking,well done for reporting that bastard,hope he gets the punishment he deserves
x

Original poster

JustThinking · 25/05/2005 19:16

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jampots · 25/05/2005 19:31

JT - I think I have emailed you but I hope Im wrong . Very pleased you were brave enough to do something. You know where I am.....

Flossam · 26/05/2005 19:46

Bumping again for an update today please? Although I will stop if you don't want to be reminded of it all the time. Just want to hear you are as ok as you can be. x

jambo1707 · 26/05/2005 20:39

Just thinking

Sadly I was raped in 2000 4 months after my wedding. i knew my attacker(bastard) and obviously hubby wanted to kill him.

Dh called police when I got home and told him what had happened, they arrived promptly and I was taken to police station. Police also took all my clothes I was wearing and the ones I changed into, Arrived at station around 3am, was still sitting waiting(feeling like a criminal may I add) at 10am when female officer arrived to interview me.

Was then taken to rape suite around 12noon and underwent some very undignifying tests and photographs (i was badly bruised on my baody with scratches also) eventually got back home around 4pm exhausted, emotional, terrified incase the bastard came back, went to stay at the inlaws house with dh didnt want to be in my house.

Rapist was arrested and bailed pending outcome, eventually I had an appt with procurator fiscal (3 months later) who made me feel like a cheap wee slag gagging on it, obviously she had never went through this horrific ordeal,

Outcome i ended up pg with a rapists child(provedit was his through dna testing whilst carrying baby) sadly baby died when 18 weeks pg, would have continued with pg I believe as the baby was innocent and never asked to be concieved especially by a bloody rapist. gruelling labour to deliver the baby

OUTCOME

Pf states it was my word againt HIS and case closed, ironic thing i found out also is I was not the first, prev rape he got away with also
dirty fucking bastard has scared me for life, still haunted to this day about the whole thing, thankfully hubby is so supportive to me

jampots · 26/05/2005 21:01

OMG Jambo - that#s horrific. Actually everyone who's gone through this ordeal deserves a huge pat for being able to speak about it - you are all incredibly brave!

hellomama · 26/05/2005 22:01

OMG Jambo. Am so sorry to hear what you have been through.

Original poster

JustThinking · 28/05/2005 00:19

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Flossam · 28/05/2005 08:40

JT, poor you. This is going to be so hard, but you do need to try and be strong, sweetie. I don't know what else to say Do you think you would like some tablets to help you sleep? You could discuss it with your GP. You would feel so much better for som sleep as long as you try not too rely on them too heavily. I have used them in the past when working nights. I hope the GP can help you. Have you been reffered for counselling at all (sorry if you have already said). xxxx

WideWebWitch · 28/05/2005 10:00

Just thinking, I've only just seen this and just want to add my support and tell you that I also think you're doing the right thing by reporting this. It wasn't your fault, it really, really wasn't.

PuffTheMagicDragon · 28/05/2005 10:03

Echoing www's thoughts here, as I am lost for words.

colette · 28/05/2005 12:39

JT I am really sorry this happened to you and am so glad your friend came with you when you were examined. I had a similar(although not as bad I think) experience 20 years ago and still feel angry .
It did help a bit that he was sent to prison and I didn't even have to go to court(he plead guilty) so I was "lucky" in that respect. I really feel for you especially as you have to think about looking after children I think you have had some good advice and support here , things have moved on a lot in the last 20 years(I hope) and I really hope you get some counselling. I remember I just felt the need to move on and get on with my life , put it behind me but you need help to do this.
I hope you keep posting and look after yourself,
Jambo I am so sorry too it is unbelivable that he got away with it, I actually spoke to rape crisis recently (1st time) and they were brilliant so if you want to talk they will help even years later and you only need to talk about the parts you want to.
thinking of you
xx

Original poster

JustThinking · 28/05/2005 12:41

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