Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Money matters

Find financial and money-saving discussions including debt and pension chat on our Money forum. If you're looking for ways to make your money to go further, sign up to our Moneysaver emails here.

Original poster

Pressing charges for rape

554 replies

JustThinking · 22/05/2005 22:36

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
dinosaur · 23/05/2005 11:41

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

sparkly · 23/05/2005 11:43

Is there someone who can go with you for moral support? It's difficult to do but you are doing the right thing. I don't know where you are in the country but if I can be any help please let me know.

Original poster
JustThinking · 23/05/2005 11:49

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
sparkly · 23/05/2005 11:52

JT, my case did go to court but I never had to confront him again after the attack. I'm sure there are steps that can be taken if you do get to court to ensure that you don't have to see him again.

Original poster
JustThinking · 23/05/2005 11:54

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
fastasleep · 23/05/2005 11:59

I'm quite sure that if it did go to the papers you could remain anonymous, and to be honest sadly it's so common that I doubt the media would have much interest. I know that you can do a video link-up to the court rather than be there in person if you feel very threatened or scared about seeing him, but I'm not an expert! Best of luck!!

batters · 23/05/2005 12:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
JustThinking · 23/05/2005 12:23

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
ninah · 23/05/2005 12:30

I honestly would encourage you to deal with this now. The alternative is to pretend nothing happened and my experience is that this affects your life in many ways, your confidence and your relationships with men in the future. It may seem the harder option right now but I believe it's better, long-term. There is no shame in being raped. I think you will find your friends understanding if you can bring yourself to talk to them. Our feeling shame about it only perpetuates the damage.

ninah · 23/05/2005 12:31

oh, you are doing! Well done JT you should be proud of yourself. Hold you head up high and good luck!

hellomama · 23/05/2005 14:41

How did it go Just Thinking? I think going to A&E is a good idea as getting your injuries sorted out must be a priority. If you haven't yet been, and if you do live in London, try to go to King's College Hospital (Camberwell), St Mary's Hospital (Paddington) or The Royal London (Whitechapel) as all of these are huge A&E's and are all linked to a Haven Centre, so even if you can't face going to the Haven yourself, they can come to you in A&E. You must have experienced a very violent attack as it is very unusual to sustain physical injuries during an assualt (believe it or not) - this man must be stopped. I hope you can pluck up all your courage and strength to get through this. DOn't forget we will all be rooting for you here and can help with giving you moral support when you need it. Will be thinking of you. Let us know how you get on.

M22 · 23/05/2005 14:48

Message withdrawn

huggybear · 23/05/2005 15:10

a bloke i knew from work hid in my flat and waited til i was alone.

i pressed charges about a week after. what helped me was being able to stand up in court and show him that i wasnt scared of him - that i wouldnt be his victim.

rickman · 23/05/2005 18:46

Message withdrawn

iamyourfriend · 23/05/2005 21:40

i took jt to a&e this afternoon, she was examined there, the police called and she v bravely gave them a statement. I have her kids with me tonight, she is coming along later after she has been seen by everyone.

sparkly · 23/05/2005 21:42

Please let her know we're thinking about her. I know how hard it is to do something like that. She's very lucky to have a friend like you.

hatsoff · 23/05/2005 21:48

dear jt I hope you are feeling ok. Please get in touch with an organization like rapecrisis - they have one and only one motive in what they do - and it's to HELP YOU. They will give you the best advice, the info you need, access to the support you need. They won't try to persuade you into anything or dissuade you. They will respect you and help you. I'm glad you've done what you've done and that you have a good friend helping you.

marthamoo · 23/05/2005 21:53

Been thinking about you since last night, JT. Well done, at the risk of sounding condescending, I'm proud of you. iayf - I'm glad she's got you there, you're a star.

hellomama · 23/05/2005 21:57

Thats great iamyourfriend, please let JT know we have been thinking about her and wishing her well. I am glad she has been strong enough to do one of the hardest things she will ever do in her life. She is so brave. I hope she feels she can post here in the future so we can support her in the coming days, weeks and months, if she needs it.

Evesmama · 23/05/2005 22:12

well dont honey
now you can concentrate on getting yourself well

take care.x

Flossam · 23/05/2005 23:11

Well done. You did so well, I for one am very proud of you. I hope that everything goes well for you now. I really am so pleased, you have been so brave. Hugs to you, look after yourself. xxx

Original poster
JustThinking · 23/05/2005 23:41

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
Blossomhill · 23/05/2005 23:48

Oh god JT, poor you . Please contact me if you need to talk. I am here online for a while {{{{{{}}}}}}

Flossam · 24/05/2005 00:06

well done again jt. you have been so very brave. you have definately done the right thing imo. xxxx

Gobbledigook · 24/05/2005 00:08

JT - well done. Wow, I can't imagine what you are going through - so brave.

xxx