Just saw this thread for the first time. Unfortunately I went through something similar when I was 17 . I just wanted to say that you do learn to come wo terms with it, but it takes a time and you have to let yourself 'go through' stuff like nightmares to get out the other side- it's your mind and bodies way of handling it all.
Look after yourself and yours, thinking of you, remember you deserve only the best and no-one has a right to change that.