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Pressing charges for rape

554 replies

JustThinking · 22/05/2005 22:36

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Blu · 07/06/2005 12:30

Oh bloody hell.
Not that the hol tells me anything about who you are - it doesn't - sorry, can't keep up with everyone on MN these days - but v v sorry to hear that something so horrible happened on hol - it's somehow extra poignant that it was something supposed to help you get over other pressures in your life. sorry
And v frustrating that the international element will doubtless add time, complication and red tape. But makes me think even more that that has to be something that plays along in the background, rather than a chink of light in your tunnel. Go down a different tunnel, find light elswhere, iyswim. ooops sorry, what a naff metaphor!

What are you doing today?

JustThinking · 07/06/2005 12:40

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Yorkiegirl · 07/06/2005 23:01

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grumpymarthamoo · 07/06/2005 23:15

Don't know what to say, JT - but it sounds to me that everything you are feeling is perfectly normal and understandable. I'm just so sorry that this happened to you.

lilybubble · 07/06/2005 23:47

JT, just wanted to semd you cyber hugs ((((JT)))) and say that I also think you have been amazingly brave in dealing with this. Not only in going to A&E and reporting it, but also talking about it on here, even when you feel that others know who you are (I've not the slightest idea). Talking about how you feel will help you to deal with it, and your reactions sound completely normal.

and and at how many people have been through this....

JustThinking · 08/06/2005 00:02

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lemonice · 08/06/2005 09:42

Hello Justtinking

I missed your later posts yesterday. I'm sorry it was a crap day for you again. You are under a great deal of pressure at the moment and the rape happening on holiday will have made it even more of a horrific nightmare than the nightmare it would have been here. Do you feel that people will think less of you because it was on holiday? Because that is simply not true. If aanything it makes me feel worse for you in every respect.

Essentially the police have to take forward the proceedings against this man and your part is to try to restore your health and spirit.

I'm not sure whether this is reassuring or not - but I still don't know who you are! And I would not wish to do anything other than respect your very understandable wish to remain anonymous.

I'm rubbish at making suggestions to help (they all seem so trivial) but can you spend a little time relaxing outside today?

Take care - xxx

JustThinking · 09/06/2005 11:57

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lemonice · 09/06/2005 12:07

Oh, your care during your check up sound appalling...but I'm glad that the actual prognosis was good.

Are you still taking antibiotics, I think they can in themselves be quite draining.

I don't know about the HIV question as i have not been in a position to need to consider it as when I had this experience it was really pre HIV days.

Don't worry about dragging others down, I think it is my responsibility to only read and post here when I am feeling strong enough to be supportive and I should think your other friends on mn feel the same.

If you feel that this thread has done enough and is dragging you down then that is different, post as and when you feel like it.

xxx

JustThinking · 09/06/2005 12:08

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JustThinking · 09/06/2005 12:11

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Blu · 09/06/2005 12:12

Bloody hell, how incompetent and horrible of them So sorry. But it's another thing OVER.

Jt - really sorry - missed your reply, and didn't see any other 'venting' anywhere! I certainly don't think you should worry about dragging anyone down!

I think it is likely that people feel sensitive about posting here - it's not the kind of thread you want to pile in on and everyone have their say for the sake of it, is it? And that's GOOD. That's MN-ers being calm and careful. That's why I didn't post again after the first night you posted, because I thought there was a steady group of people giving advice and support, and no need to create unnecessary clamour, iykwim. Then I happened to online late one night last week when you were posting.

You know what? I think every MN-er would join with you as one and celebrate the day that bastard was locked up. But the truth is that it MIGHT not happen. No one can tell you for sure, and the level of aquittal in rape cases is so scandalous that it is OBVIOUSLY no reflection on the vailidity of the case itself, nor the horrible pain of the countless women who have been assaulted. It's BRILLIANT that you are doing what you can to help the police nail him, and that will give them the best chance, and hopefully he will get sent down to a life of drinking other people's spit in his tea.

But whatever happens to him - you are the one who is the lovely and valuable human being, and need to be able to recover irrepsctive of what may or may not happen to him. he's casued enough trouble to you - don't make your future happiness depend on anything to do with inhuman bastards like him. you are worth far, far more.

XXXXX

lemonice · 09/06/2005 12:18

However much or little you want to talk, I check for this thread and will try to be there as long as you need an anonymous listener and I'm sure others here are doing the same..

I'm glad you got out to play tennis that sounds as though it could do you some good. If you are very active then you don't have much time to think and the endorphins or serotonin or whatever are great for you mood.

I took up sailing at one time because you have to concentrate and it leaves little time to think too much and also tends to be in nice surroundings. Unfortunately i haven't been for ages because I have put on weight, a bit of a vicious circle. I do recommend it though.

xxx

galaxy · 09/06/2005 20:20

Hi Sweetie. Well done for getting through yesterday. I'm proud of you for being so strong.

I'd have STD tests done if I was in your position. I did but refused to let them do an HIV test and when I became pregnant with dd I was convinced they'd tell me bad news. I was so relieved.

I know I can't be any practical help but I'm here to listen if you need me.

xx

Ronniebaby · 10/06/2005 11:39

JT - hope you are well today, as I said last night, if you wanna chat, I'm here.

potty1 · 10/06/2005 11:45

JT - been thinking of you. X

Blossomhill · 11/06/2005 23:32

I've been thinking of you too. Hope you are okay. Lots of love and hugs {{{{{Blossomxxx}}}

colette · 13/06/2005 15:42

Me too Jt , hope you had a good weekend . Look after yourself xx

gothicmama · 13/06/2005 15:44

I hope you go an dget tested the local GUm clinic will be v snesitive and you can use a false name if you want to take care

JustThinking · 14/06/2005 10:39

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JustThinking · 14/06/2005 10:41

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Flossam · 14/06/2005 11:55

When will you get it done JT? Sorry haven't popped in here for a while. Hope you are feeling okish. xxxx

JustThinking · 14/06/2005 21:32

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Hulababy · 14/06/2005 21:33

JT - thinking of you

JustThinking · 14/06/2005 21:42

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