DH refuses to have single joint account - will this cause practical/legal issues in the event of spousal death?

[bookshelfwormy]

I thought I would come here for practical opinions/advice because most of our close friends earn equal amounts as their partners, whether lower or higher than our tax brackets, so their situation differs from ours.

For background, DH earns significantly more than me and we have separate accounts. About 70% more than me. This means he has significantly more savings than me and also is naturally more generous. So pays for most things. I transfer him an amount to his bank account every month to help with mortgage and nursery fees, as these + bills + holidays, all of which DH pays for, really end up eating his salary away. So ironically, I end up saving as much as him as I only pay for food shop and kid stuff. He has more savings as, pre-kids, he managed to save more than me. He also pays for big expenses, like my car, my phone etc... Anyway - no issues there, is my point. Up to this point, we have always had separate accounts because it's worked out fine since he is very generous. HOWEVER, it just dawned on me - mind you, I am very anxtiety-prone - that if he dies, I will be in a legal pickle because we only have sole accounts. Am I correct in this?? So I'd have to go through court to get access to what is technically OUR money???

I expressed this concern to him and suggested we both keep everything as is but add our names to all our existing accounts. He said no to this because he doesn't want to get my approval if he needs to make adjustments to his main account. I couldn't help but feel this was somewhat of an excuse? How often does he have to make changes to his account? He did then said he is willing to create a joint account where he has most of his savings, so I suppose that redeems it all? But I'd still need to go through court for his other accounts?

I just suddenly feel financially insecure despite being married but not sure if I am just ignorant???😂We have x2 DCs and the last thing I'd want to go through is court red tape if I end up alone with them - sorry for being bluntly practical here!!

Appreciate if you could enlighten on me - tell me, should I get a grip and chill?Or am I right to panic a little?

I'm clueless when it comes to financial stuff! Thank you xx

The other scenario is if your DH needed care, potentially you could be much worse off financially than if he’d actually died. Obviously it’s not likely to happen while you’re young-ish but definitely something to bear in mind as you age. Anything held in joint names would be assessed as belonging 50% to each of you, anything solely in your DH’s name could be fully taken into account for care costs.

I’m in a long standing second marriage with adult kids but none together. I don’t work and dh pays all bills. We have a joint account but he also has a separate one. He tops up the joint one so there is always sufficient monies in it. When I asked him why he needs a separate one, he said you never know when you need another account, it’s always good to have one. So a lie (ridiculous) but a different lie to yours! We too have life insurance but if he died again that would take time to come through.

@cupfinalchaos Are you OK with him buying you everything permanently?

As long as you own half of everything you’ll be fine. Him having a separate account wouldn’t bother me, don’t you have one yourself?

Yes I own half of everything. I have an old bank account I don’t really use and have told dh I’d like to merge them all.

Absolutely fine with it, as is dh, we simply have enough and are both happy. He’s retiring soon, we plan to travel and buy a flat abroad to spend time there with our grandchildren.

If he has sole accounts with significant money in then yes you would need to obtain a grant of probate. There is also the consideration as to who the beneficiary of his Will is? Only joint account money would pass to you automatically. If he has left money to other people then you will not be entitled automatically to that money. Also your home, do you own this jointly? Is it in his sole name?

@cupfinalchaos Fair enough, although being totally reliant on someone financially is not something I'd ever choose or want. Guess we are all different. Pleased it's worked out for you.
But why does he have a separate account yet you don't? Do you have any separate funds at all in case you ever did need them? Because of course joint accounts can always be accessed by both parties.

I do have a separate account. I have half the shares in the company, assets house etc so not in a precarious situation. I understand what you are saying and I think a lot of it stems from what is usual in your community and circle. I have done a lot of voluntary work and to be honest if I were working full time (at almost 60) it wouldn’t make a jot of difference to our lives other than to limit when we could go away.

When my DH dies all I had to show was our marriage certificate and the death certificate and everything was transferred to me straight away.

@cupfinalchaos
I think as long as you have planned for ultimately "Would I have enough if I needed to leave" then all is good. And of course all joint accounts can be drained and joint assets are by no means instant.
Nobody can say with absolute certainty that their marriage is 100% secure.

We have a joint account we live out of which we pay in varying amounts, some times 50:50, currently 0:100.
Our savings are all on separate names at the moment and the bulk of our savings are in my name as I have a threshold for savings interest before paying tax on savings and any interest over this is paid at 20% tax rather than the 40% we would have to pay in my partners name as he is in the 40% tax bracket.

It does provide me with reassurance in case of sickness or injury. I'm the last 5 years my mum has had a fall down the stairs that broke two vertebrae and was lucky to have not sustained greater injuries and my sister had a heart attack in her early 40s. I'm both situations they didn't lose capacity but it solidified in my mind that your world can change in the blink of an eye. I am more worried about incapacitation rather than death as you have seen on this thread there are mechanisms in place should your spouse died with separate accounts but there isn't always if they lose capacity before safe guards can be put in place

No problem there then. I’m in a similar position though we do still keep separate accounts as well as having a shared one.

So I'd have to go through court to get access to what is technically OUR money???

No

you go into the bank with his death certificate - or in my case when my next of kin died it was covid so I did it all online - and the bank transferred the money into my account - as we had account at the same branch, he did have accounts at other banks, but it was all fairly straight forward.

This was because he had less than 40k in the bank

if it had been more then I would have had to wait to do probate - which either you can do or the solicitor

what is most important is that you know where all his money is upon his death

so any stocks and shares with a holiday company, any ISA's any guilts any building society accounts any bond

I have a pink death book - so in there is all the places I have bank accounts, bonds, stocks and shares, ISA's and premium bonds etc

that way my next of kin will not miss a pot of money and it stay doing nothing for years