DH refuses to have single joint account - will this cause practical/legal issues in the event of spousal death?

[bookshelfwormy]

I thought I would come here for practical opinions/advice because most of our close friends earn equal amounts as their partners, whether lower or higher than our tax brackets, so their situation differs from ours.

For background, DH earns significantly more than me and we have separate accounts. About 70% more than me. This means he has significantly more savings than me and also is naturally more generous. So pays for most things. I transfer him an amount to his bank account every month to help with mortgage and nursery fees, as these + bills + holidays, all of which DH pays for, really end up eating his salary away. So ironically, I end up saving as much as him as I only pay for food shop and kid stuff. He has more savings as, pre-kids, he managed to save more than me. He also pays for big expenses, like my car, my phone etc... Anyway - no issues there, is my point. Up to this point, we have always had separate accounts because it's worked out fine since he is very generous. HOWEVER, it just dawned on me - mind you, I am very anxtiety-prone - that if he dies, I will be in a legal pickle because we only have sole accounts. Am I correct in this?? So I'd have to go through court to get access to what is technically OUR money???

I expressed this concern to him and suggested we both keep everything as is but add our names to all our existing accounts. He said no to this because he doesn't want to get my approval if he needs to make adjustments to his main account. I couldn't help but feel this was somewhat of an excuse? How often does he have to make changes to his account? He did then said he is willing to create a joint account where he has most of his savings, so I suppose that redeems it all? But I'd still need to go through court for his other accounts?

I just suddenly feel financially insecure despite being married but not sure if I am just ignorant???😂We have x2 DCs and the last thing I'd want to go through is court red tape if I end up alone with them - sorry for being bluntly practical here!!

Appreciate if you could enlighten on me - tell me, should I get a grip and chill?Or am I right to panic a little?

I'm clueless when it comes to financial stuff! Thank you xx

But of course that would be fraud

I know it is a typo but it has made me smile, it matters very much who his executioner is as the police would find it handy to know and will save them time investigating.

his executor matters less they are just the people responsible on ensuring that the matters in the will are followed correctly.

as far as a joint account goes as long as the will is set up there will be no issues.

@Wolfpa hahaha oh my goodness!!! I’m so silly. Thank you. So essentially, you are saying that, if I have access to a good amount of savings via a joint account, and we have will and life insurance in place, then I am in safe hands and should just get a grip?

So the way we do it is we get paid into our separate accounts and then everything's that is destined to be joint and pay for family bills etc (not equal amounts) goes straight into a joint account. So we use our joint account the way you use his main account. He needs 2 really, so that the stuff he wants to spend without talking to you about can be from "his" account, and joint is accessible to you both. Alternatively, he sticks a 3 month bills buffer in your account that you don't touch but will see you through in the event that something happens to you.

I am so sorry to hear. This would have been my reasoning too really…

But this new joint account won’t have our savings in it? It would just have money to pay bills so always -0 essentially?

Thank you. It panicked my stepson's wife - he's a bit older than her and they have no joint account. I haven't asked if they did it as it's none of my business but it makes sense to do it. Council tax, energy, water and broadband all go out of the old joint account. You can have separate accounts for everything else!

Well where would the savings be? And who would they be for? You need to figure out what your shared approach to money is. Family money Vs my money, both for working capital and savings. Anything that's family money needs to be jointly accessible. And if you don't agree on the principles (eg he thinks savings are his, you think it's family money) then you need to talk it out.

You’ve got bigger issues that ‘what if he dies’ frankly. You refer to it as ‘our money’ but he is treating it like his own!!! You aren’t on the same page at all…

He wouldn't or if he did it would be illegal. You can't be using a dead person's card to raid their account.

Once the bank was advised of the death they would freeze the account and (they should) reverse any transactions made between the date of death and he date of notification.

@bookshelfwormy a joint account for all joint funds would be a start, into which you each pay whatever you’ve both agreed in order to cover all bills, mortgage etc from that. Are you on your property deeds if you are not renting?

My concern is your claim “I’m clueless when it comes to financial stuff”
well you better get learning, don’t leave this very important aspect of life to someone else.
It’s good that you’ve come online and will inevitably pick up a few things about personal finances BUT you need to learn more.
Tax, tax shelters, filing taxes, investing, interest rates, loans, mortgages you really need to know quite a bit to be financially secure.

Same. I don't DH to have total unrestricted viewing of my spending and I certainly don't want it of his. Bills are paid jointly form a joint account.

I hold all kids money and all household annual savings e.g. the car money, the holiday money, savings for Christmas spends etc.

I think differently; that if you earn it is is your money, irrelevant of marriage. You can of course agree to share it, but it is still yours to do what you like with.

Do you bill him for your childcare? I think this is the only way this type of set up works. Even if you both worth full time I bet because he earns more he leaves more to you.

We pay proportionally to our income. So because DH earns more he pays more towards each bill. I do more school pick ups because my job offers more day to day flexibility whereas he does more drop offs as he can start later and he does more school holiday child care because he can condense his hours for short periods.

It's what happens to the rest though. Does he get to save more? If he does than that's because you facilitated it. We have joint everything and don't even consider how much each of us put in. It's just the household money.

It’s definitely an excuse and not a thing, not sure what adjustments he could be talking about because the majority of things on a joint account can by done by either individual independently.
I could only assume he’s hiding something from his current account from you, a type of spending, a specific payment.

Accounts are cheap today and it sounds that money aren't too tight for you, so you can easily have a joint and savings account for you, him, and shared, and agree how much to transfer to the shared savings.

That way you both have direct access to majority of family money in case of something. And you both have a private account for personal spending, gigts, runaway funds, ...

No, because of the way we structure it we both get the same amount left over - whether we choose to spend or save that is up to us.

We also have joint savings, they just aren't in a joint account.

My mum and dad had separate accounts. When he died, she just had to send off his death certificate, their marriage certificate and her birth certificate. It didn’t take very long.

That would concern me. Why do you do it that way? Before we had DC I expressed my reservations about sole accounts given I would need to take maternity leave and reduced income and would not know about the bills if he took them over and I did not want to have to ask him for money. As he is a decent man and understood my point we moved to a joint account for all income and expenditure but we also had sole accounts with the same spending money each month. This has differed over the years according to our income and outgoings.

We have a joint savings account but also personal savings each. We have had differing incomes due to maternity leaves then me going part time then me getting a large inheritance then him retiring. Arranging our finances this way means we both have access to our main incomes but we also have some privacy on saving and spending. Our investments are separate as is common due to ISA allowances, pensions etc but we have the same IFA who treats it as a joint portfolio so if anything happened to either one of us it is easily sorted.

Just be aware that this is illegal.

We have separate accounts but both have enough in our individual accounts that it wouldn't matter if we couldn't access each others for a while.

This is EXACTLY our situation