How can we manage financially as Universal Credit support reduces?

[elliejjtiny]

We have 5 dc aged between 19 and 11 all with disabilities. Dh was a manager up until youngest was born, then he became unwell and had to take a massive pay cut. I'm a Sahm and get carers allowance. We get UC. Dc1 in his first year at uni, dc2 about to start in September.

We are just about managing at the moment but barely. In September we are going to lose the child element of universal credit for dc2 and I'm worried how we are going to manage. When the dc were younger I thought I would be working by now but I'm only getting 4 hours sleep a night and my 11 year old needs constant supervision when not at school so I don't know how I could fit work in. Dh has to work away about 15 weekends a year (from friday morning until late Sunday night) which leaves me completely exhausted each time. We spend 9 weekends a year picking up/dropping off/visiting dc1 and I imagine spending the same amount of time with dc2. There is no childcare for children my dc age with SN and they have to be picked up and dropped off at school. The dc have appointments about once a week on average and dc4 stays in hospital about 1 night a year when I don't get any sleep at all.

Realistically I can't think of any employer who would employ me with the amount of time off I would need and on so little sleep. At the moment I spend the time dc are at school doing the housework, cooking the dinner and trying to catch up on a bit of sleep.

I'm trying to think of anywhere we could save money but I can't think of anything. Dc1 doesn't cost any less money while he is at uni.

My thoughts exactly.

Thank you for the update OP.

They should be eligible as they have disabilities. Also the wife can work while they are at school, what is it you did not understand?

Some of the responses on here aren't from human beings surely?

No student needs to come home 9 times each academic year. OP said they'd do the same for second DC too. She is making work for herself.

Op would need a very flexible job as it may be hard to source childcare for disabled kids/ teenagers or leave them alone in the holidays.

Well in this case the oldest was 8 so they would have known or had suspicions before the younger ones were born .

Cool, can you tell.us how you got your kids into special schools. You make it sound dead easy.

Well, I'm going to say it. Some of the comments on here make me understand why people with disabilities live such shit lives. The attitudes are disgusting. I hope this thread is deleted on those grounds.

It might be that DC2 can’t go to university in December. They might have to defer for a year or longer, or not go at all. Not everyone has to go to university, especially if the family can’t afford for them to go.

This ^ I don't know how university finance works these days but make sure the two DC at uni look after themselves or even better if they live at home they should pay rent. My DS is on UC and the people at the Jobcentre are really helpful so talk to them. They helped DS by going through all his finances and making sure he gets all the support he can. He used to be on PIP as well as UC but that has stopped now but there are transitional payments.

You are clearly clueless

All the commitments you’ve listed are on the weekend and before and after school bar 1 overnight stay a year. So you have 9-3 everyday to go to work.

It’s no different from every other family. They work in, in school hours unless they use after school clubs or rely on family members. The domestic duties get done when the kids are at home.

Or do it online. I know it’s not ideal but it’s an option.

Just because a child is disabled, it doesn't necessarily mean that they will be eligible for special school and even if they are, it doesn't mean that they will get a space as they are limited and generally full.

Sadly I think they are. Even your average bot has more compassion than some of these posters.

And op says eldest is living away at Uni and holding down a part time job and has been declined PIP at review. Therefore it's not unreasonable to think he should be able to get a bus or coach home?

The only answer really is to earn more (you, your DH or the older DC) or to spend less. Can your DC2 go to a more local uni and travel from home? It may not be their first choice but we all need to cut our cloth. They may also benefit from being closer to home if they have selective mutism, I can imagine it’ll be hard to live in uni accommodation if they struggle to communicate. Can DC1 work during term time to fund living away? Is there anything you can train in so that you’re more able to work as the other children grow up because over time your situation will only worsen as they are out of benefits, so I’d start long term planning now.

Instead of berating the OP for having 5 children (she’s explained her DH had a high paying job, that the disabilities were not expected etc), why not try to help with solutions?

That isn't how it works, not even close.

You clearly are the one who doesn't understand.

You know that not all disabilities are apparent from birth don’t you?

Invisible disabilities are often not apparent until the child is older, and parents may not spot it because their children are just like them.

I had no idea any of mine were autistic until after my youngest was born - turns out we all are! At this point should I put some back?

well, it is going to have to work, my dear, if the OP and kids will want to eat!!!

Perhaps not, perhaps they have medical appointments to attend which are local to their home address, who knows 🤷🏻‍♀️

obviously if the journeys can be cut down that would help financially and emotionally

Crikey you are brave - but I agree why? Had one child very expensive second child same so no more!