How can we manage financially as Universal Credit support reduces?

[elliejjtiny]

We have 5 dc aged between 19 and 11 all with disabilities. Dh was a manager up until youngest was born, then he became unwell and had to take a massive pay cut. I'm a Sahm and get carers allowance. We get UC. Dc1 in his first year at uni, dc2 about to start in September.

We are just about managing at the moment but barely. In September we are going to lose the child element of universal credit for dc2 and I'm worried how we are going to manage. When the dc were younger I thought I would be working by now but I'm only getting 4 hours sleep a night and my 11 year old needs constant supervision when not at school so I don't know how I could fit work in. Dh has to work away about 15 weekends a year (from friday morning until late Sunday night) which leaves me completely exhausted each time. We spend 9 weekends a year picking up/dropping off/visiting dc1 and I imagine spending the same amount of time with dc2. There is no childcare for children my dc age with SN and they have to be picked up and dropped off at school. The dc have appointments about once a week on average and dc4 stays in hospital about 1 night a year when I don't get any sleep at all.

Realistically I can't think of any employer who would employ me with the amount of time off I would need and on so little sleep. At the moment I spend the time dc are at school doing the housework, cooking the dinner and trying to catch up on a bit of sleep.

I'm trying to think of anywhere we could save money but I can't think of anything. Dc1 doesn't cost any less money while he is at uni.

It still won’t work, they can’t force random special schools to take their kids if they aren’t eligible.

You could try reading Ops posts to understand what happened

Do you have 2 carers elements on your on your claim? Both you and your DH can have the element as you have 3 children on DLA (assuming that at least 2 get MRC).

if you give Contact (used to be Contact A Family) a ring they can help you with a benefits check.

It isn't how it works. That's a fact.

You can't just decide to put your child in special school for a start. It is up to the LA, not the parent. My dear.

Op you haven't said what you are receiving and what the shortfall is? I'm guessing you are actually quite well off?

Can't believe what I am reading. MN-ers are writing - She should not have had all those children, they are disabled, 'why should I pay through my taxes for your children?'

Are they the MN-ers who denounce Reform because they say they will put an end to foreigners gaming the system?

Just a comment on the Uni 9 werk trips

I have children at Uni
one with adhd and autism
He is 4.5 hours away if I don’t stop en route

If you are dropping off and picking up at the beginning and end of each term that’s 6 trips. One night stay over if you or dh are doing the trip alone. If you’re both driving then it’s a round trip. A tiring one but still no need to stay over
If you are spending 9 weeks doing this then essentially it’s not essential it’s a choice and a holiday.

This is a least one area you could cut back on

They could afford them paycheck to paycheck with no contingency...

It's like buying a £50k tesla. Lots of people can afford it on HP.. Which is what they do.

But, they don't realise that they can't hand a child back when they can no longer afford it. They can't sell the child like a car.

Then the state (code for "everyone else"... Friends, neighbours, strangers) end up paying for 18 years out of our taxes... Not their taxes, because as a family they take out thousands of oerxebts more than they pay in. Indeed ever paid in, even when working briefly in their 20s and 30s.

As a society, we are suckers for other people's choices. It's just the cost of living, tax rises and general downgrading of the UK economy which has made the payers-in really begin the resent this mess... Which seems all too common.

the issue is that students who don't have a chance to get a job still have loans which they never pay back and it makes it hugely expensive for those sods who do get jobs and then pay ridiculous amounts back.

Do you not have to declare this for tax purposes? How does that work please? Would that not reduce the UC too?

I'd have a go at this but I wouldn't like to get into trouble with the tax man.

Some of them of people willfully denying the reality of how one eats and that there is not free lunch

Can your 2nd child delay university and save towards ut being more affordable? You can't make blood out of stone, so if it's unaffordable, it's just that.

5 kids is a hell of a lot! I'm not surprised you're struggling. Can you actually afford for the kids to go to uni, realistically, if you're still supporting them but getting no benefits for them?
Could they start contributing financially, eg part time job, gap year for full time work, benefit claim for themselves, or just put uni on hold, move out and support themselves?Could the older ones look after the younger ones so you can get a job?
You can't expect to survive on one wage with 5 kids indefinitely. So I can see why you're worried. Kids have to start helping when they grow up, if they can, when money is tight.
I also don't think you can afford 8 weekend trips a year. You can work for those weekends at least?

Which is why I have always thought we should not give student loans to anyone over the age of 35
.
Many people do them later in life almost as a hobby.

It’s just too expensive for younger people to have to foot that bill

^^

Nasty.

could you do some freelancing? Like on Upwork? Connecting on LinkedIn with a little business?

why is your sleep so limited?

Yes you need to declare it for tax as the survey websites report income. I have made £20k on prolific in a few years it can be lucrative.

Even without any disabilities it seems like the OP couldn’t afford 5 children. This is what gets people’s backs up; I would love to have more children but I haven’t because we can’t comfortably afford them (comfortably being, without having something there for contingency if DH or I couldn’t work etc). But if you are sensible you end up subsidising people who just went ahead and had the 3rd, 4th, 5th child anyway.

Why on earth would OP do that after some of the comments she has received?

Quite.

it's not 18 years though... it's forever

One of my DC is ND. I'll be brave enough to say that ND which is bad enough to be disabling is known from a very early age. It might not be officially diagnosed, but there is no way for 2-3 years old not to show clear signs of ASD if it's so severe it can be disabling. As to ADHD - it can be managed with medication. ASD is a very wide spectrum, from non verbal double incontinent to PhDs. That side of spectrum which requires benefits is visible at a very early age.

Pre planning is essential
Income protection would have been a good idea at the very least

My sleep is limited and I only have one disabled child.

More issues than just financial ones - my friend was clearly mis-sold the whole concept. She was a perfectly good English teacher, then the British Council started giving out bursaries to study politics - my then 45-year old friend, who in all fairness never taught but did odd job cash-in-hand, was taken with the idea and did her PhD in contemporary East European politics, graduating with no work experience at 48. Who would have thought that the UN, the EU and other world agencies would not be welcoming, with open arms, a 48-year old Dr M with zero days of work experience in the real world. She genuinely believed the future is bright. I lament those mis-selling adverts these days, in bus shelters, for Open University - change your life, change your career, it is never too late. Such a lie - there is a time for everything and it is important to acknowledge, and not lie to yourself, when the ship has sailed.

It's the same as selfish women having kids later in life, more risk of problems, those who don't vaccinate their kids when complain when the kids suffer problems after getting measles etc.
Where is the cut off point for judging people? It's all common sense when you think about it.
The nasty, judgy posts on here say more about the nasty person behind them. As it has been said before most say they would say something irl but I doubt they would. It's too easy to shoot your mouth off behind a keyboard.
OP is a human being like the rest of us, [debateable with some posters] and has asked for help and advice not the kicking and bitching she has been on the receiving end of.
Some people haven't grown out of the playground bully herd mentality.

People like you want your insensitivity to be coddled. Ask with your chest instead of this passive aggressive questioning you're doing now. OP is talking about being broke but poor you don't feel accommodated to rub salt into her wounds.