How can we manage financially as Universal Credit support reduces?

[elliejjtiny]

We have 5 dc aged between 19 and 11 all with disabilities. Dh was a manager up until youngest was born, then he became unwell and had to take a massive pay cut. I'm a Sahm and get carers allowance. We get UC. Dc1 in his first year at uni, dc2 about to start in September.

We are just about managing at the moment but barely. In September we are going to lose the child element of universal credit for dc2 and I'm worried how we are going to manage. When the dc were younger I thought I would be working by now but I'm only getting 4 hours sleep a night and my 11 year old needs constant supervision when not at school so I don't know how I could fit work in. Dh has to work away about 15 weekends a year (from friday morning until late Sunday night) which leaves me completely exhausted each time. We spend 9 weekends a year picking up/dropping off/visiting dc1 and I imagine spending the same amount of time with dc2. There is no childcare for children my dc age with SN and they have to be picked up and dropped off at school. The dc have appointments about once a week on average and dc4 stays in hospital about 1 night a year when I don't get any sleep at all.

Realistically I can't think of any employer who would employ me with the amount of time off I would need and on so little sleep. At the moment I spend the time dc are at school doing the housework, cooking the dinner and trying to catch up on a bit of sleep.

I'm trying to think of anywhere we could save money but I can't think of anything. Dc1 doesn't cost any less money while he is at uni.

Why is this lack of empathy or ‘scary’. What a ridiculous comment. It is a very reasonable job suggestion, flexible and adaptable around commitments. My friend is a cleaner, self employed, left an office job fore more flexibility and doing really well. She is happy and does not regret her decision. Good for her I say !

The trouble is that carers allowance is £86.45 per week, and the earnings limit is £204 (after deductions).

If someone on carers allowance and Universal Credit works 2 full days, they will earn £216.07. However, they will lose £86.45 in carers allowance and have £118.84 deducted from their Universal Credit. So, depending on their award, they could end up with only £10.78 for their two days work. In the case of @elliejjtiny, who has a working partner, the carers allowance deduction will be removed from her claim and replaced by a reduction in the deduction that her DH gets from his wages, but that still means that she'd be working for £5.71 per hour, and she's already said that she is chronically tired and has 15 weeks per year when her DH isn't there at weekends, which would leave night work.

How do you think that the Nazis got away with every evil thing they did? I suggest you do some reading.

You don't know her and neither do I.
And IDGAF that your some random loser; when you choose to come at people on here for being on benefits, yes I will call it out.

But her husband doesn't work either. Nothing.

Why can't he care for his children and she get a job....?

Just being in the house whilst she does a night shift somewhere cleaning? If she works when the kids are asleep, the pressure on him is very low, no matter his own conditions.

She needs a job. That's it. Any job. Not a flashy job requiring 3 degrees and a reference from Nelson Mandela or mother Theresa. A job. Which pays money and teachers her how hard we, everyone else, has had to work to give her the tens of thousands she's received for decades.

Sorry, but does anyone in this bloody family work??? Anyone???

If her kids are at uni, they can dishwash in the halls of residence, hoover, surely? It's what my kids did...

You're right. It is pointless. Not just for the op (and I hope she works somethings out for her sake), but for anyone living off benefits when they didn't need to / don't need to (obviously some people do, and that is what they were intended for). Personal responsibility seems to be lost in the midst of time in todays world.

Well there's no point asking her why she had all the children. They're here now and there's nothing that can be done about it. And your taxes pay for many things other than her children, so I think that whiny refrain needs to stop.

OP it's hard I know. I would suggest the following:

1. Don't pick your child up from uni. Mine make their own way home. (My eldest also autistic).
2. Your eldest can get a job to help support himself. Again mine have to work through university
3. Can your second one get a job?
4. Exhaustion is not a blocker to working unfortunately. You need to get a job to supplement your income. I disagree with a PP that says part-time, term only jobs are easy to get. But you could look for evening or weekend work
5. Why does your H have to go away for 15 weekends a year? Can he now look for another job too?
6. You need to look at what costs you can cut. Can you move to a cheaper area?
7. Have you got advice from CAB or similar about the benefits you're entitled to? I think some of the disability charities will also give this advice.
8. Is there any assistance for school transport?

You cant just call social servies and put your kids in special schools !

Yes it is extremely well documented how attitudes were manipulated over time. Its crazy to me that people cant see its happening right now.

I am in no way saying it will lead to the same outcome! I do not think for one second this end with gas chambers! But the blame shifting and the othering is happening and people are turning on the most vulnerable in society and naming them the problem.

When I was out of work last year, I took in language students. Not huge fun, but needs must.

Huh? Nuremburg was their fate. Or mossad agents in Brazil and Argentina. Not many 'got away' with this stupid line of argument on this thread...

Yes, her husband works. Their house comes with his job.

OP has said that.

He didn’t quit work, he took a pay cut for health reasons.

So somebody does work.

You've clearly never had kids at Uni !! As other posters have mentioned, the student loan barely covers rent costs so parents are expected to top them up . Then there is up front deposits for accommodation which ( if my dc's experience is anything to go by ) they rarely get back because some other idiot in the shared house has caused damage, costs of travel, petrol, setting them up with equipment etc. Op's eldest sounds as though he may be in a better position than many students though as he works part time in the holidays and would likely get maximum student loan with there being younger siblings and another at Uni. he was also until recently getting PIP and if that is re-instated will have that on top, although sounds like he may no longer qualify.
I've never been so broke as since I've had two at Uni at the same time, both of whom cannot find work despite extensive efforts.

Why have you decided that OPs husband doesn’t work?

I suppose I could ask you, as you seem so bitter about paying tax, why haven't you done better for yourself? Why aren't you earning a high enough amount/maximising your income with a second job?

You seem to resent paying tax, you must not feel you earn enough to be able to live comfortably, so why don't you try to improve your career prospects by training?

Or maybe research some tax fiddle, invest, sell up, downsize, move to a cheaper area of the country, get rid of your car?

Maybe its none of my business because I don't know you, your circumstances, the challenges you have?

Maybe you should keep that in mind when you are taking your frustrations out on a poster who obviously needs help. You have used ops question as a way to have a good moan about benefits. You must feel very powerless.

Yeah you are scary for having no empathy.

The OP? Her husband does work. Which is why she said he works away and she’s alone 15 weekends of the year and that their house comes as part of his job

Yes he does?

He had to take a pay cut but he still works.

I think if society questioned these choices more, less people would continue making them.

I'm perfectly well aware how the tax and benefits systems operate, thank you very much. What I'm objecting to is the vitriol and ableism.

Surely with 3 on dla & the disabled child element etc you shouldn’t be struggling? Your dh working will stop any benefit cap?

I think the issue about uni costs is a really important one. The rent at my dc1 halls of residence (at a midlands uni) has gone up £3000 in 3 years (it was £9.2k in 2023, this year it is £12.2k) - and that isn’t fully catered (only 1 meal at the weekends, fully catered during the week). (Dc1 moved into private Accom for years 2 &3, which has been much cheaper, but that may not be possible of an dc with autism wants to stay in halls all three years, for example). And it is much worse in some regions. Parents need to have quite a bit of disposable income to be able to top-up for living costs / socialising / travel etc etc

No no no. I am asking you to evidence your statement from the posts you refer to. Please? Or are you just using hyperbolic announcements with no evidence to support them?

Don't try and misrepresent what I have said.

The op gets 4 hours sleep a night as it is, should she be doing cleaning at night as well? As a punishment for having 5 kids with complex needs?

She obviously has circumstances to deal with that your friend doesn't.

Thats what's annoying, everyone is ignoring the difficult situation the op is dealing with, minimising her challenges.

I think people would have more sympathy if you had 2 children but having 5 children with no real means to support them other than one parent being a “manager” is taking the piss.

And that’s not even mentioning having 2 children who you suspected might have disabilities and then deciding to have even more children! You had 5 children with no contingency in place for if your husband lost his job or became unwell.

You’ve already had a kicking from pp and there’s nothing you can do about that now.

Your only option is to accept it’s a shit situation and you’re gonna have to get a job to financially support the family you chose to have. You’re going to be exhausted but that’s just the way it is. Your other kids might not have the opportunities that other kids do and might have to delay uni plans or go to one more local. They’ll have to see if they can work to chip in to help with the bills. It’s going to take a team effort but hopefully by the time your youngest is 18, you’re in a better position.

Exactly this. I studied the Holocaust at uni. People never learn.