No money at all

[AngelaBB]

My husband retired in August, I have been retired two years. He didn’t talk to me about retiring , just came home and said he had talked to HR and never went back to work.
He is hopeless with money, I gave to run everything and I find it exhausting. He hadn’t bothered to sort out his pension, although he told me that he had and just left it, we now have no money at all. He has finally sent the forms in but has been told that it will take at least six weeks to all come through. I have no money at all, used my overdraft facility and credit cards maxed out. He expects me to sort it out but I don’t know how. There literally is nothing in the pot. He can live like this but I can’t, he thinks I’m over reacting and it’ll all work out but I’ve had enough. Am I being unreasonable?

I think there's a ticking time bomb atm with people in their 50s and 60s who missed out generous defined benefit schemes and thought state pension was going to be enough on its own. Its a bit terrifying how many people, women especially, don't have any private pension.

You might be able to claim Pension Credit or UC if he's younger than pension age
I'm so sorry to hear you're in financial difficulty, it's a worry at any age but when you're older it can seem like there are fewer options.
Have you contacted citizens advice? They should be able to advise and give you info about other places to get more info.
I work in a Foodbank, which I'm sure you won't want to use - because no one does - but you can get referrals through your GP surgery, citizens advice or any social services dept you might or might not be under. There are Social Supermarkets in most towns and cities too, where you can shop at much lower prices.
If you go to your library, they should have information and would help to point you in the right direction.

You are not being unreasonable, but if you know he's like this, possibly a bit naive, but the fault is 100% is ! If he’s always been this way, he most likely wasn’t going to change overnight.

a firm plan is needed that you both agree to if you decide to stay together and he will have to be provided an allowance if he cannot be a big boy and manage it himself.

food banks and short term loans seem to be the only answer if family cannot help you, which I would never recommend but what is the alternative, going hungry ? Sorry you are in this situation, take care x

When you say you have no money do you mean this literally?
Zero balances, negative balances, not one penny coming in from anywhere for the next 6 weeks? Nothing?

If so then you could call age concern or similar and ask for help, find out who to ask for a referal to a food bank so you can eat and you should call essentials like utility companies explaining the situation and that the bills will be late.

Then hunker down and wait it out. It will be bloody miserable but you will get through it.

Subsidising? Is that really how some people see marriage? After 50+ years together, with varying incomes due to poor health, redundancy etc., we’ve never ‘subsidised’ each other. We just share whatever there is in terms of finances.

You've both been short-sighted, so you need to come up with a solution together.

What would've been different if he'd have worked for another couple of years? What had you expected retirement to look like, knowing what you did about both of your pensions?

I understand he shouldn't have taken the unilateral decision to quit work without giving you both time to organise your finances, but would it have made much difference if he'd have given you two years' notice?

Are you sure he wasn't 'asked' to leave?

How long did he work there? As long as he hasn't done something atrocious and sacked on the spot, he should get something. Acrimonious work situations still result in settlement agreement, gardening leave, notice payment.

You both sound a bit hopeless with money and planning. I'm not the best and should have started a pension earlier but surely when most people hit 40 they realise they need some kind of plan for retirement?

Food is incredibly expensive and getting more expensive. I live off the state pension and a small occupational pension (£1500 per month), partner a small private pension. We manage to save a few hundred pounds per month but we fear for the future.

When you say you have no money and there is nothing in the pot......how does that work when you get SRP every month?

If SRP is your only income and you have zero savings/investments why haven't you applied for help with rent/Council tax/pension credit/UC?

Have you been to your local food bank?

I dont understand any of this

Maybe OP has no money because they have just paid off the mortgage?

Not helpful.

I'm in Wolverhampton, the council allows anyone in the city to order meals on wheels, they are billed at the end of the month. OP check your local council.

Also contact your utility providers, they can help with giving you more time to pay or putting you on a 'social tariff'. Sign up for the 'warm homes' discount.

Some utilities also have charitable foundations, my carer received a double bed and a washing machine from one. As part of my electricity company's 'warm homes' I am going to receive £40 of supermarket vouchers.

No, he sounds feckless.

Why is ND peddled at every sign of a useless man?

It is for anyone reading this that hasn't planned yet

Does he have an overdraft facility or a credit card that you could access? Or is everything joint? Can you get any benefits on such a low income?

The thread is for people to give the OP help. Not lecture her.

Fair enough I could have left my last part out but I disagree with OP that it's just her husband who is hopeless. They both clearly have issues with money and planning. It's not just on him.

Doubling down eh? Must be great to be perfect.

Visityour local citizens advice bureau. They will be able to refer you to a local food bank and check you are getting all the support available for you.

Thanks for all contributing to this thread as at the grand age of 62 this year I didn't know you had to apply for state pension 4 months before you want to receive it

This info will be helpful when I'm 67 🙂

I don't understand the concern over this.

OP retired at 67.

Husband retired at 67 - he's 2 years younger.

None of this will have been a surprise to OP. Current state retirement age is 66.

The husband should be eligible to claim backdated if he's not yet 67. For every 5 weeks after 66 he can get an increased state pension of 1%, so 10% after a year.

Some of the responses to this thread makes me think some of you have taken leave of your senses.

Are you being deliberately obtuse ? OP says she retired two years earlier than DH because she‘s two years older and had reached state pension age. At that point DH was still working. So two incomes. Now DH has retired without sorting out his pension and OP is trying to support them both on her own state pension, which is only designed for a single person. OP is subsidising them both until his pension is sorted.

My husband and I’s state pension age is 67.