Am I in big trouble??

[Bigcoat1]

Hi Everyone,

i think I might be in big trouble. My mum passed recently. For the last 4 or 5 years I held power of attorney and handled all of her financial affairs. We never had a formal diagnosis of dementia etc, however she became Increasingly confused so I just took over.
mum was quite well off with around 150k in savings, an income of 2k per month and a mortgage free home. My finances have been difficult since my divorce.
On a few occasions I borrowed from mom’s account when I was desperate. I always paid the money back asap. I never discussed this with mum although I know she she would have consented.
her affairs are now being looked over as part of private etc and I’m terrified that this roll come to light and I’ll be in huge trouble.
I know I can’t undo what’s been done, but what should I expect to happen?

Are there regular cash withdrawals over the last 4-5 years that exceed your Mums cash expenses.

Honestly do not worry. It’s £250!!! You are certainly not going to be in big trouble. You are POA and executor and a beneficiary. It’s clear your Mum trusted you. No one is going to come after you for £250.

Me too

If you genuinely paid the money back then surely you have nothing to hide?
But the moral to this is “ never a borrower not a lender be “

It doesn’t matter OP, like above poster said, the amount is small and was paid back. You feel guilty because you’ve got a conscience. Don’t discuss probate with friends again.

They don’t need to know that. You paid it back each time, I doubt anything will come of it.

The sense of entitlement of helping yourself to your mum's money (regardless of paying it back) without mentioning it or asking is shocking. If she was so generous why didn't you ask her or tell her first?

It's done now but you need to take a look at your personal financial situation and make some changes now you don't have ready access to someone else's money.

You might have a point if we were talking about £250,000. But it’s two hundred and fifty quid! LOL. She’s POA/executor/beneficiary - she was trusted by her mother and borrowed £500 and has paid half back. She has nothing to worry about. She will inherit half the house, half the £150k. No one is going to be worrying about £250.

Only if you hadn’t repaid it so don’t worry

If she was alive and compus mentis she would have loaned you the money. And she would never have considered it theft or told anyone it was. So if anyone asks just tell the truth that it was a loan.

Its hardly controversial or unusual for a well off parent to help out their financially struggling offspring. Especially If you've been doing a lot of caring.

Either way you say you paid it back? But I just don't think anyone is going to start alleging you've done anything wrong. In fact I think your friend is being alarmist and possibly rather unkind to have suggested such things.

I'm so sorry for the loss of your lovely mum x

OP, are you absolutely sure you remembered to repay every ‘loan’?

If you did, and you have, or can reconstruct from statements, good records which reconcile correctly, and therefore show that you have not permanently reduced the value of the cash savings, you’ll be fine.

Sure, you broke the law, as we all do when we exceed the speed limit by 1 mph, but de minimis non curat lex, and nothing will happen.

Still was a stupid thing to do though.

If you’re not admitting to yourself that you sometimes forgot to repay, my advice would be to do so, and immediately.

Yes. But how who is to tell the difference? Neither are positive.

If money wasn't repaid, I think it is far more likely to have tax implications than anything else.

(There may be no tax implications if the estate didn't exceed the IHT threshold, but 'gifts' that depleted the value of the estate (so not gifts made out of normal income) made in the seven years before death should be declared as part of the estate.

You will be totally fine..these abusive mumsnetters will bring you down and make you feel terrible anyways so this was probably not the place to post..your Mum always helped you out as Most parents would if they had children that were struggling,stop stressing yourself,Condolences on your Mums passing xx

Having read OP's posts properly, if it's £250 it's either a gift out of income or a payment of OP's expenses from income.

Nobody will be interested.

I have POA for my mum. She is totally compis mentis and has done it for the future really but doesn't like online banking so l do that side of it for it for her and she would know if l had borrowed money from her account.

I had no idea about the law surrounding it so while l wouldn't ever take money from.this account without her prior permission, l will certainly start keeping records of when she does ask me to transfer or draw money out

The individual with POA should keep accounts of spending from the donor's accounts.

https://www.gov.uk/manage-lasting-power-attorney/records-duties

Attorney records and duties

Keep a record of:

important decisions you make and when you make them, for example selling the donor’s home or agreeing to medical treatment

the donor’s assets, income and how you spend their money - if you’re their finance and property affairs attorney

Include details of who you asked for advice and any disagreements.

Do not include small, everyday decisions.

When I had PoA I had to use around £3k of my mum’s money to pay for some repair work at her property. It could easily have been verified but no one even questioned it before, during or after probate.

Are you the only child ? Stop worrying isn't that your inheritance anyway ?

OP has said there is a sibling, but she is the sole trustee of their mother's estate.

When completing the probate forms, there is a section on the form for outstanding debts.

You may get reported to the office of public guardian and they can stop you from being an attorney in the future.

you made an error and took advantage of your vulnerable mother but there won’t be many consequences.

But nobody knows do they? Just say it was a loan.

I don't think it is "abusive" of posters to be pointing out that being entrusted with POA is a very responsible role.

I've seen a number of posts, here, in the past, by posters with a sibling who has POA who has been helping themselves to money from the donor's accounts for their personal benefit.

This is why records are expected to be kept.

This feels familiar, but maybe somebody else did the same thing.
Of course someone with LPA should not borrow money without asking the person concerned first, and even then it is dodgy if the person does not have capacity to make such decisions, which is presumably the case if LPA is being used. LPA should never be used to serve your own interested.
Whether you get into trouble is another matter. Only if someone checks the accounts and queries the transfers, and the only person likely to do that is the executor of the will, I think.

Who is reviewing this? The council, HMRC, an accountant?

I am sorry for your loss. Don’t be too hard on yourself.