Not eligible for benefits but struggling, what do we do?

[Nomoneyleft9743]

This is a lesson to always live well within your means.
My husband has had a good career for 15 years in senior management travelling across the world etc. His pay was enough to enable me to be a sahm raising our children and we bought a large home . We lived comfortably and could save a bit but not a huge amount (1st mistake)
Unfortunately my husband became very poorly and has been off work for 5 years now. He is still employed by the company but wont be going back anytime soon. They have been amazing and luckily for us they had group payment protection insurance so they were able to continue paying him 50% of his wage.
This was not enough for us to live on due to our large bills . We have never been frivolous, buy our clothes off vinted, no cars on finance etc. We reduced all unnecessary bills down . No holidays etc
I went back to work but due to me being off so long I could only get a minimum wage job. This has seen us through just about ok.
Now on top of everything else I have become disabled and cant work myself .I've had to leave. I am eligible and I am claiming high rate pip . This isn't even half of my previous wage.
We have 2 teenage children who need a lot of things paying for. Over the 5 years we have depleted our savings down to nothing and are now struggling . Our only option is to downsize our home but that cant happen overnight, due to the lengthy selling process.
We are not eligible for universal credit as earn over the threshold. I've got two kids at high school who want school dinners like their friends. That alone is £200 a month (£5 a day) and I can't pay it . I can hardly afford to buy us food . Is there any help for people in our situation?

Does that include your pip? If so you are under the threshold for UC surely? Pip is £749.80 every 4 weeks leading £1750 that is eligible for UC.
Is your husband on PIP? If he’s been unable to work for 5 years he should be getting it. It sounds silly but you may be better off him giving up work and claiming new style ESA or UC and claiming carers allowance for you, with you being disabled you don’t have a benefit cap.

id look again and work out if it’s better for him to give up work.

First if you plan to downsize, which will solve a lot of financial burden get the ball rolling ASAP. In the meantime call your mortgage lenders and see about going onto interest only payments for a short period while you sell.
If you have two cars look to moving to one as neither of you are working two cars are not a requirement.
Start making packed lunches rather than school dinners. Or look to check if you can get free school meal (if uou are receiving certain benefits)
Look at cheaper phone contracts giffgaff are from £10 per month.
Plan meal carefully you could easily shaved £100 off that food budget. I have two adult sons my husband and myself all week and my daughter snd grandson come over once twice a week for dinner I spend around £450-500. Thst includes cleaning product, laundry and pet food (two cats)
Also checking with local council as some households can get a council tax reduction depending on your earnings snd what band your home is

Is there any work either of you can do? Any WFH/part time?

Really your food budget is £800. Try £600 to include EVERYTHING. £500 if you're extra careful, there's £300.

Giff Gaff phone contracts, that could save £40.

Get rid of a car, sell it, stick the money in your savings. Sell a load of stuff on vinted to give you a buffer.

Your water bill is very cheap though!

I would imagin you can BOTH claim attendance allowance. It is not means tested and you use it to pay for things people help you with. So if your DC say go shopping for you or do the washing etc you could give them their lunch money out of your attendance allowance, it's up to you what you do with it. I would definitely look into it. If you need help, you should be able to claim it. Every little helps as they say. Make the most of the cheap Christmas veg, freeze some, make soups and freeze in bags. Roast and boil potatoes and freeze them. It all saves money in January and beyond. Tbh £800/mth on food is a lot. Ok so £200 is DC lunches at school. But £600 between 4 people I think by shopping for bargains could reduce that by £100/mth,

Attendance allowance is if they both pensioners
Attendance Allowance: Eligibility - GOV.UK share.google/lrWPm0uRQQeZoKdgE

I haven’t RTFT, depending on what sector your husband and yourself have worked in there may be charities out there to support.

For example I work in insurance and there is a charity, aptly named the insurance charity and they offer assistance, financially and otherwise to anyone who has worked in the insurance industry even if only for one day. Appreciate this particular charity may be of no use but it’s worth a quick google to see.

Tell your teens they need to take packed lunch. If you can't say no to your own DC you will always struggle.

You need to find out if you can change the phone contracts, nobody needs an £80 a month phone, contact the provider and ask

How much equity do you have? Is it enough to buy a smaller place?
Would have house valued and look to get it on the market.

Do you have enough equity in your house to be able to buy somewhere smaller outright? Having no mortgage would certainly help with your budget.
I think your kids are going to have to take packed lunches at least some days. Maybe they get school lunch on a Friday.
If your not going to be going back to work then perhaps selling one car could be a good idea.

Talk to the headteacher about the school dinners. As a school governor, I’m proud to say we have always given our heads discretion to provide dinners and clubs beyond that which the government provides. I don’t know your full circumstances or those of your school but I would like to think school will support your family so far as they are able to.

Just coming on to post the same. I am with Tesco, 2 phones, DC has 30 G data, I have 2 but use WiFi. My bill is £20 pm.

I think it's £20 x 4, so not quite that unreasonable. If they're locked into contracts paying for handsets then there's not much to be done about it.

I did suggest contacting the provider because fully understand you can be locked into a contract

If you are up to date on mortgage I would request a 3 or 6 month payment holiday instantly and tell them the house is going on the market - that should give you some breathing room in the immediate instance

You should of downsized the house 5 years ago!. Youve been lucky to get PIP. Your DH has also been lucky to be getting paid over the last 5 years. Youve had so much opportunity to plan ahead OP.

Possibly true, but how does that help OP now unless you’ve discovered the secret of how to time travel?

£5 a day for school dinners is a lot. Mine get £3 a day and can take in extra snacks from home. In fact my eldest gets 6th form bursary who too younger lunch account and the bursary only put £15 a week on for her - they did say if she struggled with that they could look at more but she’s been fine as when I paid lunches up until now for her I only gave £15 a week. In fact she opted to take a packed lunch on on a Friday and buy the other days to stretch her budget. My youngest isn’t entitled to free meals as I earn above the £7400 required for people on UC to claim.

Have you spoken to your mortgage lender about switching to interest only or I think there is such a thing as a payment holiday? Obviously, the main thing that will help you is to sell your house. Perhaps if the children are old enough they can assist in de-cluttering, cleaning and generally sprucing up your home so that you can try and get a quick sale and price. Have you got any items at home which you can do without and which might bring in a bit of extra cash?

Maybe there is a reason why you need two cars but, if not, get rid of one. Also, I think it is possible to spend less than £800 a month on food. One way is to eat far less meat, as it is very expensive now. If it were me, I would be reluctant to stop school dinners because children get very hungry and that can affect their concentration and general mood.

So if you’re on PIP and your husband earns £500 he should be able to put in a claim for carers allowance as you’re able to earn £196 per week before it’s stopped. This is not a joint earning but an individual. This is a separate benefit from UC. However if you are entitled to UC the carers allowance is deducted in full.

Surely only one car is needed. It's quite a luxury to run 2 cars if both not working.

Sell the house, less about the mortgage but you need a buffer for expenses.

Pay as you go phones! I do have a contract phone with TESCO MOBILE which is £9.45 a month. It only has INTERNET connection at home. This alone saves a fortune. It does sound as if your children need to understand how things are with you both unable to work. I would certainly go to Citizen's Advice because they will help you fill out the forms.

To be unable to claim UC you must have an income of over £50k- who on earth has bills which can't be met on £50k?
Unless you are into high stakes poker I really don't see how your outgoings can exceed your earnings, either that or you are eligible for UC.
On the outgoings side-
You can't afford 2 cars, neither of you is working, one car is a huge luxury if you don't work. I work and I can't afford a car, why should I subsidise a family with 2 cars with my taxes?
The power is high, the food is very high-you need to cut down on power usage and probably change your deal as well, and cook from scratch 90% of the time- if you are strapped.
Laptop rental? Surely you can buy a laptop.
Packed lunches not school dinners- £5 a day is too much.
Much cheaper phone deals are available- you need to swop.

Apply for:
Household support fund/council hardship payment
council tax benefit/reduction
PIP for your partner
If children are in sixth form apply for the education grant (speak to the school)
child benefit
Make an application for UC and tell them you’re awaiting a decision of your partners PIP and that you’re also in receipt of it (also worth looking at LCWRA)
Does your husband provide care to you for your additional needs? Or vice verse? If so, claim carers allowance (and also declare on your UC claim that one of you is caring for the other whichever way around this may be) this will also add an additional element onto your UC
Ring your water company and advise them that there’s 2 disabled people at the property and they can put you on a cheaper tariff
Also, if you’re also paying wifi they can put you on a lower tariff

If you pack in your job, through I'll health, would you not be better off on benefits? Perhaps you could research what you would be entitled too. Your husband has paid many years into the system, it maybe time to take some for yourselves, as you do need it...