Not eligible for benefits but struggling, what do we do?

[Nomoneyleft9743]

This is a lesson to always live well within your means.
My husband has had a good career for 15 years in senior management travelling across the world etc. His pay was enough to enable me to be a sahm raising our children and we bought a large home . We lived comfortably and could save a bit but not a huge amount (1st mistake)
Unfortunately my husband became very poorly and has been off work for 5 years now. He is still employed by the company but wont be going back anytime soon. They have been amazing and luckily for us they had group payment protection insurance so they were able to continue paying him 50% of his wage.
This was not enough for us to live on due to our large bills . We have never been frivolous, buy our clothes off vinted, no cars on finance etc. We reduced all unnecessary bills down . No holidays etc
I went back to work but due to me being off so long I could only get a minimum wage job. This has seen us through just about ok.
Now on top of everything else I have become disabled and cant work myself .I've had to leave. I am eligible and I am claiming high rate pip . This isn't even half of my previous wage.
We have 2 teenage children who need a lot of things paying for. Over the 5 years we have depleted our savings down to nothing and are now struggling . Our only option is to downsize our home but that cant happen overnight, due to the lengthy selling process.
We are not eligible for universal credit as earn over the threshold. I've got two kids at high school who want school dinners like their friends. That alone is £200 a month (£5 a day) and I can't pay it . I can hardly afford to buy us food . Is there any help for people in our situation?

I work in HR. We have a insurance-based group income protection scheme. We absolutely do dismiss people even if they're on the scheme. Yes it is unusual but not impossible.

Get rid of one car (maybe both).

The phones are a ridiculous amount. I pay Lycamobile, it is £5 a month for unlimited calls and texts and more data than I ever use.

I know you might be tied in to contract but when they are due to renew cancel them.

Talk to your utility companies and see what they can do, be honest with them.

Do you have the heating on? Warm the person not the room. If it is really cold then just warm one room.

There are grant making trusts, some are available on line and others are listed in a book that you can access in any reference library.

When I was a student I would take the first two weeks of the summer holiday applying. I took my laptop to the library and typed up a spreadsheet. Some you had to fill in a form, others you just write to them. The directory has various catagories, I think I got some funding from one that was "For young ladies attempting to better themselves"

Most did not reply but some did provide funding.

@InterpinkThere was a thread last month or so where someone on a group income protection scheme was being advised things were in motion to let them go as they clearly had no intention of ever returning to the job?

Sorry the book is "The directory of grant making trusts".

There is no ESA now.. its all changed to UC

There is. I’m on it.

I’d use it towards moving costs?

Teenagers are old enough to know that you can't afford school dinners so they need to stop. They're also potentially old enough for weekend jobs so if they really want to spend £5 a day they can start looking.

If school is close enough, they can walk. And even if it's too far, you don't need to be paying for a school bus AND two cars. Ideally the school bus and one of the cars should go. If that's not possible, then one of the cars for sure.

I think selling your house should be an absolute last resort.

Have you spoken to your mortgage company about a payment break / holiday so you can save a buffer ?

Are the school dinners actually £5 per day, flat fee? My teens would spend £5 a day on school dinners if I let them - eg main + drink + dessert. But they know they're not allowed to buy drinks because water is free and neither am I willing to pay for a (crappy UPF) dessert every day. So they actually spend more like £2.50 on a jacket potato or pasta etc. So if it's possible, give them a limit on what they can spend.

Is your husband's income protection paid via his company's payroll with National Insurame Contributions deducted? If so, he can claim new style ESA as well as you. It isn't means tested. Lots of people, including benefit advisers, are unaware of this as it is a niche point for people with company income protection policies. I can talk you through it if you want to PM me.

There definitely is. New style ESA is not means tested and is separate to UC.

We are similar to you .However We have never been able to run two cars! Just not doable .School dinners need to go maybe once or twice a week? Dont beat yourself up about saving .It's hard to do .Maybe check with CAB re benefits .I would be surprised if DH doesnt get help TBH.Maybe a lodger, or a foreign student if you have a language school nearby. We have done this and you can just have them through the summer months.Leaving winter for a rest!Just BB and an evening meal .They arrange their own lunch .I think this is the case for so many people now .No need to be embarassed

If you take a mortgage holiday mortgage companies start looking at you v v carefully. Also viewers, selling fees, conveyancing, packing,unpacking and all the extra stress is a killer if youre healthy ..let alone both ill. As someone said ESA for you based on stamps paid may be possible. Speak to someone like Christians against poverty or CAB or the council welfare rights officer. Dont be embarressed to use the app too good to go and olio. If you do have to face selling up try to get a relative or close friend to help/shadow you through.

Find a local food bank.

Think about work you could still manage. Maybe something part time and from home.

Sell on Vinted as well as buying in Vinted.

Get your house on the market.

if that doesn’t cover it, ask for a mortgage repayment holiday while you wait to sell up.

I wish OP would come back, especially to clarify about the cars/need for two cars, size of house (potential for lodger?) and how much equity is in the house - if you sold could you purchase something relatively near, mortgage-free?

Mortgage company wanted to close mortgage soon after payment holiday...be very wary. It sounds good but got me 7 days from repossession......

I just saw your list and read some of the comments so sorry if I'm repeating something.

There is no need for your children to spend £200 on lunch, that's just not sustainable. We aren't in your financial situation but we all pack a lunch for work and school so it's not a great hardship. If you ask for an interest-only mortgage in the short term while you sell and sell a car that will lower a lot of the expenses really quickly.

Your kids are old enough to understand the situation. They can help! Send them to the cheaper grocery stores, challenge them to cook a meal for a preset budget (you are spending about what we do on food but we can afford it, there are plenty of places we could cut if we needed to - eating vegetarian, batch cooking, etc). Appreciate you're unwell so that might limit some options but if you are both home and your children are older you have options.

In order of priority

Start downsizing
Switch to Packed lunches
Carefully review food bill - switch to lentils from meat etc
Reduce to 1 car
Cheaper phone deals
No rental for devices - but cheap 2nd hand and stop rental.

Other: consider accessing pension savings

Get rid of your cars

I think just stopping the school lunches is a bit harsh. Do the teens eat a hot meal every evening at home? I’m not making assumptions OP but if both you and DH are disabled and potentially struggling around the house, the meal at the school might be the main one for DC (I appreciate they are teens so could/should be making their own food but not all do) In which case it’s not great if they now switch to sandwiches and crisps etc.

I do think £5 a day is a lot. Can you restrict the amount you put on their lunch cards weekly (I assume they use pre-paid cards)? DD spends around £2.80 a day and occasionally a bit more if she has a mid morning snack but she knows that shouldn’t be a regular thing. She was spending quite a bit on pastries and unnecessary bits at break - she was hungry as she wasn’t eating enough for breakfast so I had to lay down the law (and her school offers a free breakfast club!)

On the premise of them being able to drive and spending 600 a month on food shopping I am going to assume that OP and her dh are you able to cook some sort of decent warm dinner.

I've got two kids at high school who want school dinners like their friends. That alone is £200 a month (£5 a day)

Mine would have loved school dinners every day but there's no way we could have afforded that for all of them and we were both working, so don't feel bad. Sometimes (like the parent on the thread where their child wanted to go to Borneo for £6000), it's a good, and entirely appropriate, thing to say, 'no, we can't afford that' to your kids. They can take rolls, a bottle of water and an apple/kitkat.

You are also spending loads on food-that can easily be cut down.

If you are both ill/disabled and neither of you are working, why do you need two cars? If you have cars and don't work, why can't one of you take the kids to school?

How much of the £100 a month is laptop hire-that's obscene. Buy a laptop with two months saved money of school dinners. Get a second hand one.

Presumably the house is already on the market?

absolutely can be done,

I get Carers as my son gets PiP for his disabilities.

I also get pip for myself as i'm an ambulatory wheelchair user/physically disabled... but i'm still caring for him 24/7.

I have looked at the mortgage payment of £1200. What is the cost of selling and moving? I don't see any benefit especially if one room could be rented out to a lodger. Even if you moved into rented accommodation your rent would still be around that amount. As PPs have said other costs could be cut. If you are both unable to work would it be possible to use public transport in your area?