Not eligible for benefits but struggling, what do we do?

[Nomoneyleft9743]

This is a lesson to always live well within your means.
My husband has had a good career for 15 years in senior management travelling across the world etc. His pay was enough to enable me to be a sahm raising our children and we bought a large home . We lived comfortably and could save a bit but not a huge amount (1st mistake)
Unfortunately my husband became very poorly and has been off work for 5 years now. He is still employed by the company but wont be going back anytime soon. They have been amazing and luckily for us they had group payment protection insurance so they were able to continue paying him 50% of his wage.
This was not enough for us to live on due to our large bills . We have never been frivolous, buy our clothes off vinted, no cars on finance etc. We reduced all unnecessary bills down . No holidays etc
I went back to work but due to me being off so long I could only get a minimum wage job. This has seen us through just about ok.
Now on top of everything else I have become disabled and cant work myself .I've had to leave. I am eligible and I am claiming high rate pip . This isn't even half of my previous wage.
We have 2 teenage children who need a lot of things paying for. Over the 5 years we have depleted our savings down to nothing and are now struggling . Our only option is to downsize our home but that cant happen overnight, due to the lengthy selling process.
We are not eligible for universal credit as earn over the threshold. I've got two kids at high school who want school dinners like their friends. That alone is £200 a month (£5 a day) and I can't pay it . I can hardly afford to buy us food . Is there any help for people in our situation?

You say you can’t work and have had to leave

then say you can’t get uc as earn too much

that doesn’t make sense

Sorry was forgetting about dh 50% money tho many get uc on £2500 a month so double check

Are you sure you aren't entitled to universal credit? You can also get a support for mortgage interest loan which pays the interest for you.

You are in a better situation than a lot of people out there.

Giff Gaff does good value mobile deals - £10pm rolling contract with loads of data. That would halve your mobile costs.

who’s your internet provider? I recently took steps to switch from BT to Virgin and then BT pretty much instantly offered to lower our broadband bill to less than the good Virgin deal. You might be able to do the same with your mobile provider, depending on who you’re with.

You could speak to Citizens Advice Bureau as well.

we scraped school dinners.
And why the bus… If you both have cars and not working why don’t you take them to school?
why di you need 2 cars
we’ve stoped upgrading our phones and now on pay as you go sim (£8pm for 12GB)
the food bill could probably be reduced by introducing some cheaper meal options a couple times a week (jacket potatoes/pasta meals) shopping at Aldi / Lidl’s and selecting food that’s on offer and working meal plans around that.
why 2 cars… it sounds like they may not be needed anyway?
definitely rent a room, especially a house sell could take time

talk to the kids, they’re old enough to understand the situation and they need to understand money doesn’t grow on trees.

Definitely get rid of a car to begin with.

How far is the school? Could DC cycle?

Can either DC get part time jobs, baby sitting etc to reduce need for spending money?

Sadly i think moving out of your house will be inevitable. Would it be an option to rent it out & rent a little apartment instead? However note that this would limit you getting the rent part of UC.

You cannot make a new claim for it.. so the OP can't.. if you are already on it.. that's different alltogether.. by March 2026.. you will have to swap to UC

It is still perfectly possible to claim new style ( contributions based ) ESA which op would likely qualify if she has worked over the past few years. It is only income related ESA that is switching to Universal credit.

You are not correct - it's called New Style ESA and it's for people who have been working and paying NI.

Hi op have you asked your mortgage lender to review the mortgage amounts could you go on interest only until your dh is well again then sell up get a more manageable mortgage unfortunately none of us know what is around the corner and live within our means at that time it doesn’t sound like your dh will ever go back to senior management.

You can. New style ESA is a separate benefit to the old ESA and to Universal Credit. There is talk of starting to phase it out, but not before 2028/2029.
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Im baffled by the amount of people advising her to cut back on hot school meals like having a packed lunch is any cheaper nowadays!? More nutritious!? Why should the kids miss out on a good meal midday.
You can maybe look at local food banks, churches, sell some assets

Because the amount being spent on a school meal per day is way over what a meal deal at school should cost. Also at secondary they aren’t especially healthy or nutritious!! Mine get a school meal. The actual meal price is £2:70. Bursary tops one of my kids up at £3 a day. But their meal is a bit random depending on what’s on offer each day.

Because the kids are spending £5 each day which is really high! My teen has £3 per day. And I’m doubtful that it is more nutritious in high school. My son eats chips most days. It would be healthier and much cheaper to take in something from home. It could be a hot nutritious meal in a thermos or a cold meal like pasta, sandwich, etc.

Food in secondary schools is crap and expensive. Sandwich, a yoghurt and a piece of fruit is probably £2 to make? Max? 15p for two slices of bread, 50p for filling, 50p for a multipack yoghurt and about 20p for a banana. Six pack of crisps is £1.10 in Ocado’s it’s going to be cheaper in Aldi, so even with a bag of crisps it’s likely less than £2 a day.