Not eligible for benefits but struggling, what do we do?

[Nomoneyleft9743]

This is a lesson to always live well within your means.
My husband has had a good career for 15 years in senior management travelling across the world etc. His pay was enough to enable me to be a sahm raising our children and we bought a large home . We lived comfortably and could save a bit but not a huge amount (1st mistake)
Unfortunately my husband became very poorly and has been off work for 5 years now. He is still employed by the company but wont be going back anytime soon. They have been amazing and luckily for us they had group payment protection insurance so they were able to continue paying him 50% of his wage.
This was not enough for us to live on due to our large bills . We have never been frivolous, buy our clothes off vinted, no cars on finance etc. We reduced all unnecessary bills down . No holidays etc
I went back to work but due to me being off so long I could only get a minimum wage job. This has seen us through just about ok.
Now on top of everything else I have become disabled and cant work myself .I've had to leave. I am eligible and I am claiming high rate pip . This isn't even half of my previous wage.
We have 2 teenage children who need a lot of things paying for. Over the 5 years we have depleted our savings down to nothing and are now struggling . Our only option is to downsize our home but that cant happen overnight, due to the lengthy selling process.
We are not eligible for universal credit as earn over the threshold. I've got two kids at high school who want school dinners like their friends. That alone is £200 a month (£5 a day) and I can't pay it . I can hardly afford to buy us food . Is there any help for people in our situation?

From what you've written, it sounds like you should be entitled to some Universal Credit - you have disabilities and children in the household.

You're entitled to New Style ESA if you've been working and signed off sick.

Your DH is surely entitled to PIP too.

Use the Entitled To online calculator or ask Citizens Advice, that is what they are there for.

Op if you've been working and paid NI contributions over the past 2-3 years and your SSP has ended then the quickest way for you to get help would be to claim New style ESA. Easy to apply for ( you will need a fit note ) online and assessment rate payments usually sorted within a few weeks.

CN your kids bring in pasta dinners from home,? V cheap... No other ideas as I am not English

Why are you renting a laptop? You can buy a laptop for less than £200 and it's yours to keep.

Yep.

I think the problem is op that a lot of these benefit calculators don't factor in the LCWRA element which many disabled people are likely to be awarded. So once that and carers element ( which has no earnings threshold ) for your husband are added in that adds another £640 a month to the Uc total.

This is absolutely the last thing you should do - it will have an adverse impact on your credit file, and ability to obtain any credit of any sort, for a very long time.

Downsize your house. Get your kids to take part-time / Saturday jobs.
Get rid of the phones and replace with Sim free, Pay as you go.
Buy cheap laptop or use Library.

Fair Share for some food,it's not means tested. Discount warehouses are great for pantry goods and snack,,,; mostly past sell by date or foreign brands but amazing value.
Too good to go, I pay £2.29 for a veggie carvery.
School meals are really poor value, i'd make butties, ham hock, or a food flask filled with stew.
Another vote for a lodger,threshold is £7.5 k per year.
Also look into hosting a young foreign student; usually about 17 years of age.
I can see your outgoings have been pared back your food bill is quite low for a family of four.
Find out if your children would be eligible for a discretionary grant for help pay for school dinners/ uniforms days out etc. I'll include a link.
https://www.turn2us.org.uk/

I can see your outgoings have been pared back your food bill is quite low for a family of four.

Really?!

As a family of 5, I'd say it was high!

£600 plus £200 school dinners is lots more than we spend.

If you have a large house have you room for a lodger. Have you got an en suite room you can swop to use for this as you’ll get more.
Get rid of a car asap if it’s not needed.

And like others have said I’m stunned you didn’t downsize earlier. DH has health problems so we have never moved from our small house as it gives us lots of flexibility long term.

It sounds like you need to downsize your house asap. Although that might initially be a bit depressing, if you can get money off it, then that will be a big relief for you.

In the meantime, change your phone deal if you can. For example, I changed from a major provider to Tesco and now only pay £8 a month for a very good deal. Multiply that saving by 4 and that’s almost an extra £50 you’d save.

Then look at your food bill. Stop the school dinners or limit them to once a week if you must. That will be £200 saved if you stop them, so you’ve already saved £250 (inc phones, see above). Look very hard at your food shopping bill. Can you make any savings there? I think you probably can. So, you could easily save £300/£350 a month.

Why are people still commenting- the op posted first thing this morning and hasn’t come back since so obviously rubbish. Why do people comment without rfht.

That’s interesting. How are you able to do that, because that would essentially restrict the benefit which is a contractual right usually?

Genuinely interested - my poor sister has been through all this for years (and is still being paid)

Whoa! Would you have a link anywhere? I can’t find it!

Ah got it!

It's a bit of a legal grey area and no definitive answer. But most companies just don't go there because, if the person were to fight it, it would make the company look terrible.

In my sister’s case, her barrister said that if they tried to dismiss her and restrict the benefit, she would tell her to claim unfair dismissal, because the whole point of the policy is to indemnify the employer, and protect the employee so the employer terminating the contract would be demonstrably unfair. She has been off for 17 years now and not anticipated to recover to the degree that she can return to work (degenerative condition)

Agree that's what you'd claim in that situation. But it isn't a slam dunk. I have a family member in a similar position and have looked into the law quite carefully (lawyer in a different field). Thankfully 15 years in and their employer hasn't tried it and hopefully never will.

Incidentally, hopefully your sister knows she can claim new style ESA? Lots of people don't realise this so I like to mention it in case.

Is that the same as contribution based ESA? She claimed that for a year I think because she had always paid a full stamp. Is ESA in addition to UC? Or totally separate?

And yes absolutely not a slam dunk. She will end up in a wheelchair eventually, and the insurer has tried to halt her claim really aggressively over the years. You wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

I claimed contribution based esa for a year and they've just switched me to the support group esa. I'm married so I don't get uc but I do get Pip as I'm a '12 pointer'. I have progressive autoimmune disease.

Yes contribution based ESA. But if they put you in the support group you can stay there indefinitely. As long as shes paying NICs on her income protection she should still be eligible to claim.

I'm really sorry for your situation.

It's always spend less and bring more in, they're the only options.

Cutting costs:
Your teens are old enough to understand you can't afford that much for school lunches, it has to stop, otherwise you will be in debt too.
Well done for putting your house on the market, it's the most important step for you by the sound of it. How much equity do you have? Will you be able to secure a property on that alone or need another mortgage?
What other costs can you cut? One car? Lower mobile phone costs? Food? Subscriptions?

Increasing income:
Is there any work either you or your DH can do to contribute some £?

Edited as re-read OP!

It's always hard to cut your living costs down under any circumstances.
When I divorced many years ago I had no option but to downsize. (My ex was meant to pay the small mortgage but I didn't find out for several years that he'd negotiated a temporary lower payment., so it can be done. When I was able to work full time I had to pick up the slack, but at first as one child was still in primary school I was only able to do part time low wage jobs for several years.
You have to cut your cloth etc but although it was difficult I managed. At one point I used washing up liquid and disinfectant in the washing machine as detergent was so expensive. (not something I'd recommend) but the kids were great and adjusted well after a quite difficult life change
School lunches weren't so expensive so I paid for the youger one's lunches to save her from embarrassment. The older ones pals all took sandwiches so didn't mind a packed lunch .I invented quite a few meals using basic ingredients and batch baked for the freezer.
My car though had to go as it needed so much done so I got a bus pass.
Yes it's not easy but can be done, thankfully though there weren't mobile phones so there wasn't that issue. Kids now expect (and often demand) so much so OP has my sympathy, so good luck with what you decide is the best way forward.

4 phones at £80? Is that each or total?

If that’s each, downscale them straight away. I pay £6 a month for ours