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Not eligible for benefits but struggling, what do we do?

242 replies

Nomoneyleft9743 · 04/12/2025 08:57

This is a lesson to always live well within your means.
My husband has had a good career for 15 years in senior management travelling across the world etc. His pay was enough to enable me to be a sahm raising our children and we bought a large home . We lived comfortably and could save a bit but not a huge amount (1st mistake)
Unfortunately my husband became very poorly and has been off work for 5 years now. He is still employed by the company but wont be going back anytime soon. They have been amazing and luckily for us they had group payment protection insurance so they were able to continue paying him 50% of his wage.
This was not enough for us to live on due to our large bills . We have never been frivolous, buy our clothes off vinted, no cars on finance etc. We reduced all unnecessary bills down . No holidays etc
I went back to work but due to me being off so long I could only get a minimum wage job. This has seen us through just about ok.
Now on top of everything else I have become disabled and cant work myself .I've had to leave. I am eligible and I am claiming high rate pip . This isn't even half of my previous wage.
We have 2 teenage children who need a lot of things paying for. Over the 5 years we have depleted our savings down to nothing and are now struggling . Our only option is to downsize our home but that cant happen overnight, due to the lengthy selling process.
We are not eligible for universal credit as earn over the threshold. I've got two kids at high school who want school dinners like their friends. That alone is £200 a month (£5 a day) and I can't pay it . I can hardly afford to buy us food . Is there any help for people in our situation?

OP posts:
Wonderknicks · 04/12/2025 10:38

Citizens advice will sit down with you & help you budget & make sure you have all the benefits you are entitled to.

Happyjoe · 04/12/2025 10:40

Sorry, no school dinners, and if coming to the ends of phone contracts, do not renew. Gifgaff, o2, and places like them have rolling contracts of a tenner a month, unlimited calls and texts and some sort of data bundle. If at home, you'd ride on wifi. Nobody needs a contract with a swanky new phone every couple of years. Phones go for an average of 5-6 years before they struggle and need updating.

Your school dinners and food bill are combined your second biggest outgoing to mortgage, so it makes sense to try and cut these back, change brands, change dinner ideas. I know kids tend to eat and eat! And as others said, if both not working, get rid of a car and when insurance is due, shop around for cheaper.
Renting a laptop at £100 is a huge amount of money. I may suggest once you've made savings elsewhere, buy a laptop and stop that outgoing. Be far cheaper in the long run and then you own it.
Good luck OP, it's hard out there it really is. A grind.

Interpink · 04/12/2025 10:41

Have you actually applied for PIP and UC? My sister is in similar circumstances, 50% pay etc and was adamant she wouldn’t qualify. She eventually ran all the figs through TurnToUs and wham! She qualified for LOADS. Just do it.

climbintheback · 04/12/2025 10:46

Get the kids to pay for their own school dinners till the house is sold and pay them back with interest on completion.

MagdaLenor · 04/12/2025 10:52

What is the nature and extent of your disability? Perhaps someone on here can advise.

Hendersso · 04/12/2025 10:53

Have you looked at entitled to? It will tell you the benefits you could get. Is there jobs you could do from home. Are you both entitled to pip. I would have one car, no school dinners. It may have been better if you had downsized a few years ago. Would renting your home out be a quicker option depending on rentals prices for yourself?

Pickledpoppetpickle · 04/12/2025 10:58

£800 on food a month is madness, even in the current climate. Change supermarket? Come down from branded to own-brand and if already own-brand, look at the bargain options. You will be amazed at how un-different much of it tastes and you can always go up one if the cheaper one doesn't suit. Your children will need to accept that they can't have school dinners.

TabbyM · 04/12/2025 10:59

Contact Citizens Advice and check all your entitlements, they also do good budgetting help

TigerRag · 04/12/2025 11:00

Council tax support? This is separate to UC and you apply to your local council

redskydelight · 04/12/2025 11:02

climbintheback · 04/12/2025 10:46

Get the kids to pay for their own school dinners till the house is sold and pay them back with interest on completion.

Where are the children getting this money from? If they are older teens, then yes, they could get part time jobs but otherwise they will be reliant on money provided by their parents ...

Re the school lunches - we gave our DC so much money a term and told them they could spend it how they liked, so some went on school meals and some went on junk food from the local shop and we always had basic ingredients available at home for them to make packed lunches. This might feel less restrictive to them?

SunnyViper · 04/12/2025 11:04

Use turn2us. Our income is more than that and we own our home outright. The calculator shows that we were entitled to nearly a grand in UC. We don’t need it but I was surprised it was an option.

Frequency · 04/12/2025 11:07

Is there any way either of you could work part-time remotely?

There's a lot of competition for the jobs so it's not an immediate fix but it's worth thinking about assuming one/both of you are able.

I would also look into what you're entitled to either via online resources or CAB.

MagdaLenor · 04/12/2025 11:08

Are neither of you able to work at all?

Leopardprintpyjamas · 04/12/2025 11:08

You can economise without being cheap. You can get decent quality ingredients sandwiches, branded drinks and crisps and make a Meal deal for under £2 each a day. As pp suggested, sell one car. Also speak to your lender about a mortgage holiday whilst you can try to sell and downsize..

deardeb · 04/12/2025 11:12

Nomoneyleft9743 · 04/12/2025 09:43

Income: £2500 month

Outgoings:
Mortgage £1200
Council tax £211
Energy £200
House insurance £20
Car insurance for both £80
Phones x 4 £80
School dinners £200
Food £600
School bus and laptop rental £100
Fuel £100
Water £40

Just these alone come to more than our incoming. That's without Xmas, birthdays, clothes, having any kind of a life, pocket money, car maintenance, house maintenance etc. Its just not doable . We are putting the house on the market.
The reason its gone on so long is that we never thought in a million years it would. We never thought it would happen to either of us.

800 on food per month? I have a hour of 4 and i spend 400(aldi/lidl) and this creates work lunches too

5128gap · 04/12/2025 11:19

If you have some history of work prior to becoming disabled, then you should look into your rights to new style employment and support allowance. It's not a lot, between £70 and £130 per week depending on how restricted you are in taking up employment. It's not means tested as it's based in your NI record, so you can get on top of other income.
You should also visit the turn2us and entitled to websites for information on any other help.

FastTurtle · 04/12/2025 11:19

Do you still have savings?

Could you extend your mortgage or convert some of it to interest only?

Statsquestion1 · 04/12/2025 11:21

FastTurtle · 04/12/2025 11:19

Do you still have savings?

Could you extend your mortgage or convert some of it to interest only?

@Nomoneyleft9743 states in first post savings are depleted, I would assume that means they are gone. Could be wrong though.

Peonies12 · 04/12/2025 11:22

Get rid of 1 car. Surely kids can walk or cycle to school, or can you drive them if not working. Get rid of school dinners, that's so expensive. You are time rich surely so can shop around for cheap food and do batch cooking. Can you go to interest only mortgage whilst you sell?

FurForksSake · 04/12/2025 11:23

I think you’ve already had some great advice. Food is the obvious place to cut from, we can afford school dinners but that money then can’t be spent on other things. I budget £5 a week and once that’s gone it’s tough. Go to Aldi and show the kids how much you can get for what they are wasting, pain au chocolates that cost £1.70 are cheap as chips for a pack in Aldi or Lidl. That shocked mine. We have food flasks and they can take soup / pasta / noodles / leftovers if they want to.

Same with your budget, batch cooking, bulking out with vegetables and pulses and you could reduce that down to £100 or less a week. Olio app might also be worth looking at.

obviously selling the house and at least one car will have to happen, but that will take time. Explain it to the kids, show them that for now things are backs against the wall, but hopefully things will get better.

MannersAreAll · 04/12/2025 11:27

Have you looked into New Style ESA - if you've been working in the last 2 to 3 years you may be eligible as it's based on your national insurance contributions.

It can be paid with UC if it's income related, but a lot of people don't seem to realise it can be paid on its on based on contributions.

1apenny2apenny · 04/12/2025 11:27

Items that can surely be cut:
phones - I pay £5 a month for Lebara. If on contract then don’t renew
Car insurance - do you have 1 or 2 cars. If 2 sell 1. If only 1 your insurance seems very high?
Food - cut schoo lunches. Look at cutting bill as it’s high.
Teens need to look for a job, any job to help out
if laptop rental is monthly at £100 that’s madness! Is this for your teen? Ask school if they can lend as there must be some support for pupils?
can you extend the term of your mortgage?

Leavemealone1986 · 04/12/2025 11:31

So I said above about checking for benefits i would check as on an income of £2500 month (does that include pip ?) With dc and two disabled you may be able to get something. Dh may need to apply for disability first but play around with the calculations.
On outgoings:
Mortgage £1200 - this is probably the biggest thing you can look at reducing. Not ideal but worst case scenario can you look at payment holiday etc (but try not to if your going to need a new mortgage which is harder on benefits but not impossible (I used barclays bank). I ended up selling my unsuitable 4 storey house and buying more suitable because my equity (not masses) meant I wasn't entitled to council housing but couldn't find disabled friendly rentals.
Council tax £211- if your entitled to benefits you may be entitled to a reduction (i also get a disability band reduction so may be worth looking /asking). Some local council have funds you can apply for too.
Energy £200 (I'm guessing if your already turning things off you need heating because both ill/at home all yhe time a smaller house would reduce this).
Car insurance for both £80 (do you need two cars?),
Phones x 4 £80 - this could be a big saving shop around get a sim only, I swap between smarty and leabara every year and presently got 3x sims 12gb for £16.20.
School dinners £200 (this is a big saving, make a packed lunch my dc has homemade pasta salad, cous cous or a sandwich with veg and fruit) all relatively cheap (compared to a school dinner).
Food £600 this could be reduced, go down brands, meal plan everything, dont allow constant snacking, I shop on line due to disability (and no longer able to drive) which stops impulse buying but also helps me plan. I also only shop every 10 days, have 2 extra cheap nights with either leftovers, jacket potato and beans or a something on toast night. I spend about £70 per 10 days for one adult and two older teens. Make as much from scratch as you can, I make a batch of soup for my lunch every day, we eat well but basic. I buy herbs and spices in bulk and so never one big outlay but always have something in. Lots of pasta and sauce, chilli, potatoes, frozen veg with something.
School bus and laptop rental £100 (can they walk? do your council have a free bus pass for low income families?) Can school help with the laptop rental (my dc get some support with the extras).
Fuel £100 - what is this for if your not working? Is there anyway to reduce it? Depending on your disability you may be able to get blue badge /disabled bus pass.
Water £40 - you may be entitled support, it depends on your water board. Mine have several schemes and I found that talking to them they could give me the best scheme for me. I pay a fixed amount of £33 a month.
You haven't said about broadband but so.e companies do reduced price for benefits (but not always cheaper), we're rural so limited but u have BT for £20 a month and it hasn't gone up for many years.

Not money saving but let the utilities companies know your disabled you can go on there priority list if theres ever a problem in your area and get priority service.

Another one is find out about young carers, get your dc registered in our area it isn't much just a short support course, they got hampers in lock down but more recently its meant getting on a university programme to support getting them into university which will hopefully be a big help. Both with a place at our local university so they can stay home and a a bursary.

The best thing to do is not stick your head in the sand, choose one thing and sort that and keep going till its easier. My life is always hard because of disability/minimal money but its been paid since I sorted and controlled what I could.

GaIadriel · 04/12/2025 11:35

I pay £8 a month on Smarty for unlimited calls/texts and 60GB data.

Barney16 · 04/12/2025 11:36

I feel for you OP it's hard when life deals you a big blow. Loads of useful suggestions already. Looking at your budget it's cars and food that could be reduced but essentially you need to sell your house and downsize, for peace of mind and an improvement to your standard of living.