DH redundancy – help me get a handle on our finances

[DHneedstogetajob]

DH was made redundant out of the blue 9 months ago and hasn't yet found another job. He was the main earner, I work fewer hours which allows me to support our DC who has additional needs. We were never well off but we were comfortable and we don't have any dept (except for our mortgage, which is about £250k). We've been living off DH's redundancy pay-off, but it's about to run out and we're about 2 months away from being in serious trouble.

We pay for DD's education as she attends a specialist school. It's our biggest outgoing, currently costing over £2k per month, and the fees have just gone up due to VAT. DD doesn't have an EHCP as its was deemed she could 'cope' in mainstream school (I beg to differ). I know we're in a hugely privileged position to be able to pay for DD's school and I don't want to start a debate about this. We made the decision to only have one child and to fund her schooling when she was diagnosed aged 3.

DH seems to be having some sort of breakdown and I feel I've got to take charge to help keep us afloat. I've got a second job to help support us but as I work in a much lower paying industry than DH, we cannot survive on what I earn. I absolutely do not want to take DD out of her school and I'm going to talk to them about a bursary/temporary hardship help with the fees. I'm selling our car, have cut back on spending in absolutely any way I can think but I still can't make the figures work. We're (rightly) not entitled to any sort of benefits as we still have some of DH's redundancy money in the bank.

My question is, does anyone have any suggestions for anything I can do to keep us afloat until DH gets a job? I know there are people in far, far worse situations than this and I'm definitely not expecting sympathy, but I'm in a huge panic about how on earth we're going to cope and I can't see the wood for the trees. I'd really love some practical advice from anyone who's been in a similar situation. Thank you for reading.

Get a lodger

You look for a higher paid job

Take DC out of private school (with the view of going back to the private school when you can afford it)

Mortgage holiday or switch to interstate only

All while DH continues to look for a job.

Sorry to sneak in here OP.

@budgiegirl - When my DH was made redundant, he got a job stuffing envelopes for a few months while he looked for something else. He actually quite enjoyed it - low stress, no pressure. I think he was quite sorry to leave!
If that was recent could you tell me where he found that work as it is probably something I could do (disabled). Feel free to PM me, many thanks.

This sounds very stressful for you and your DH. I have some sympathy as we were in a similar (ish) situation a while back and likely to be back in it soon.

This may already be known to your DH but thought I’d mention it just in case it isn’t. We were in the dark a few years back looking for work as so much had changed about job hunting compared to years ago. Many jobs cv are screened by AI and don’t even make it to the recruiter, matched on certain terms and how closely it matches the job description. So essentially one needs lots of different amended cvs. OH was applying and not even getting responses let alone interviews. We couldn’t work out why, as it had never been the case before.

anyway, I hope this all works out ok for you in the end.

yes, SEND is a whole other world and can understand your reluctance to move schools.

Which sector is he in op?

So in 9 months your dh hasn’t found anything, not agency work a Christmas temp role? I was out of work and didn’t find my role for 6 months. But in that time I did a lot of temp stuff

I would say that you DJ should be getting any job he can to ride you over u till he finds the right one. Surely he can find something WFH or Amazon delivery driver etc

A pp suggested that your DH could pick up appealing for an EHCP, and that seems a really good idea for several reasons:

• getting one is hard and takes huge effort. It's a really constructive use of this enforced time off
• doing something both challenging and also useful to his family will help your DH mental health
• it's actually a pretty good narrative for future employers as to why he had the time off. Especially if he's successful, but even whilst he's doing it

Apart from school fees, could you manage for a time on your salary + benefits, if you qualified? In particular, speak to the mortgage company about what they can offer you (longer term, payment holiday, interest-only) and for how long.

The very first priority is not to put your house at risk by not being able to pay the mortgage - and remember that if you're on a fix which is ending soon, you may not be able to move mortgage to a better deal if DH doesn't have a job yet.

But so long as your mortgage is OK, if school is genuinely your priority (which I would understand), then I'd look at pre-paying school fees so that your savings are low enough to qualify for UC. And have a completely honest discussion with the bursar, since it might increase your chances of getting financial help from the school - ie a substantial discount on prepaid fees. But you would have to act now, rather than wait until the savings are spent on day-to-day.

It isn't a long-term solution, but may give you some breathing space. This is what state benefits are meant to be for: helping you get back on your feet.

In the Nordic countries, you would be given a percentage of your DH's salary for a period of time, to recognise the high amount of tax you've been paying previously and that your household costs reflect your previous salary.

And don't sell your car yet. That's your safety net for mortgage payments.

Could you look at other options for your daughter’s education? Dependent on your husband mental health, would he be able to homeschool? What about online schools? They’d be a fraction of what you’re currently paying out for private school.

I would put a longer term plan in place. Even if you get a mortgage holiday, it’s a sticking plaster and you’ll be back to where you are now once the mortgage holiday ends.

Your husband needs a job, now! Any job. Even a couple of jobs if he can’t find a full time one.

A NMW job will make him more appealing for the ‘better’ jobs he’s applying for. He’s showing he’s a well rounded individual, able to adapt and can work at all levels.

I left my career voluntarily as I couldn’t take any more (teaching) and found that with a stink of waitressing / bar work on my CV I was much more appealing to prospective employers.