DH redundancy – help me get a handle on our finances

[DHneedstogetajob]

DH was made redundant out of the blue 9 months ago and hasn't yet found another job. He was the main earner, I work fewer hours which allows me to support our DC who has additional needs. We were never well off but we were comfortable and we don't have any dept (except for our mortgage, which is about £250k). We've been living off DH's redundancy pay-off, but it's about to run out and we're about 2 months away from being in serious trouble.

We pay for DD's education as she attends a specialist school. It's our biggest outgoing, currently costing over £2k per month, and the fees have just gone up due to VAT. DD doesn't have an EHCP as its was deemed she could 'cope' in mainstream school (I beg to differ). I know we're in a hugely privileged position to be able to pay for DD's school and I don't want to start a debate about this. We made the decision to only have one child and to fund her schooling when she was diagnosed aged 3.

DH seems to be having some sort of breakdown and I feel I've got to take charge to help keep us afloat. I've got a second job to help support us but as I work in a much lower paying industry than DH, we cannot survive on what I earn. I absolutely do not want to take DD out of her school and I'm going to talk to them about a bursary/temporary hardship help with the fees. I'm selling our car, have cut back on spending in absolutely any way I can think but I still can't make the figures work. We're (rightly) not entitled to any sort of benefits as we still have some of DH's redundancy money in the bank.

My question is, does anyone have any suggestions for anything I can do to keep us afloat until DH gets a job? I know there are people in far, far worse situations than this and I'm definitely not expecting sympathy, but I'm in a huge panic about how on earth we're going to cope and I can't see the wood for the trees. I'd really love some practical advice from anyone who's been in a similar situation. Thank you for reading.

One thing I did do OP is get data analysis roles and in further interviews I framed this as a way to get paid whilst updating my knowledge of current methods/ AI/ software ...

Again, the care industry is crying out for staff. The employers are used to having all kinds of people working (and yes that includes former high flyers).

Selling a house can take time as well, and frankly I don’t think a family should sell their home to maintain private school tuition.

Appeal the EHCP, speak to the school to see if they can offer any hardship discounts or aid and if all that fails unfortunately she will have to move to state school.

Does you have redundancy/ mortgage insurance?

@bluegreen89 Absolutely, thank you. I'm totally aware that DH needs to get a job (this wasn't what my original post was about, but the thread seems to have been derailed). He was very senior and has been turned down for several jobs because of this (he's not in this world but think hedge fund manager trying to get a job on a branch of the Halifax).

They are paying £2k a month for private school fees. I don't think suggesting the tax payers stump up UC is appropriate.

If the children of staff attend free, are there any vacancies at the school?

He needs to do 2 versions of his CV- a professional one and a “dumbed down” one (sorry about the expression, not calling anyone dumb).

Or do self employed work eg uber, delivery driver where it doesn’t matter who you are

Our neighbours who live in exactly the same house as us have only just sold theirs after it was on the market for 18 months. Selling the house isn't going to help us right now although obviously will long term. We also live in a very cheap house in a very cheap area so I'm now sure where we'd go.

Could you rent a room in your house? A chunk of this would be tax free.

Do you have anything you could sell eg gold, jewellery, designer clothes?

Sounds daft but have you been through your budget and cut absolutely everything that you can?

I'd start to think about the long term future of your child. You are putting all your eggs in the private education basket but it the world as it is, savings /inheritance may be more likely to improve her life quality.

Also agree with your DH having a dumbed down CV as well as a professional one

I agree with the supermarket delivery driver job.

During covid, our driver was a pilot. Obviously, couldn’t fly but was thoroughly enjoying the driving job. Wasn’t forever. When he disappeared, I guess he went back to flying.

Your husband needs to be doing something. His mental health will only get worse if he daily receives job knock backs.

If his health is so bad, then he’ll need to apply for health benefits.

The bottom line is, you can’t afford your daughter’s school fees. If you’re not prepared to try state, then you may have to consider home education.

Could you get a lodger? Host a student?
Can you rent out your drive on JustPark if you live somewhere handy. Not huge incomes but could be helpful.

Can he look to get counselling, both career counselling which should have been included in his redundancy package but also for his mental health. Has he seen the dr?

So is hospitality, so is service sector.
How can finding a job nowadays take nine months?

Have you worked out what you are short by each month?
I know the job market is hard right now but if he can find a job that is lower pay than he's used to he may climb up again in the new company. It's happened to my husband and myself.
If you can find a job that covers the deficit that all that matters right now.

I can't imagine how stressful this is for you all. The obvious problem here is your daughter's school fees as they are obviously very expensive however I totally get u don't want to move her especially if your OH does get a job in the new month or two. I wouldn't advise a credit card because they mount up so quickly, but I would go and speak to the school and see what they can do to help. Can I ask how old your daughter is?

TBH It isnt really about what you want( no rudeness intended) but about what you can afford. Selling your car really is the thin edge of the wedge.You need to be more realistic . Is DH holding out for the "ideal" job to come along ? He needs to look outside the box .Care work ,night shifts.Could he retrain as a HGV driver .Maybe use some cash to buy a car and become an Uber driver? I realise these are hard choices ,but when the "devil drives" as my Nan used to say you really have no choice .2K is a lot to find each month .I understand you dont want to move her (my own DD was home educated) but short of a lotto win you may have to .

He could do contract or interim work, possibly on a hybrid basis but spending some days in a different region.

Or he could home school his daughter then the family would be 2k a month better off. And fgs don't sell your home!

It’s easy to say get a job but companies know if in a top end job and they take them on , they will leave asap once they get a better paid offer so often they won’t take people on as over qualified etx

saying all that there are delivery drivers and bar work and care work and factory work that take people on

hope he gets the job he applied for or he will have to take on a mini wage job

do reapply for an ehcp

talk to school about fees

I know you’re not happy with the thread being derailed but you asked for help and this is the obvious suggestion.

Your husband being out of work for 9 months will look bad on his cv anyway. So he needs to get a job. If you have too much savings to claim benefits then you still have over £6000 in the bank. This needs to be for your bills not for school fees.

Future employers should be impressed if they see a man supported his family by gaining employment rather than sitting around the house for nearly a year.

I’m surprised if he was that high in his last job, he didn’t have contacts or network to be able to get another job in his sector. That may show it’s time to move into another area anyway.

This is a really good suggestion. If he'd have thought to do this 9 or even 6 months ago, you'd currently be about £10-20k better off than you are now, although I suppose there might be some sort of 'contract' to honour with the school, but they might waive this due to financial hardship.

It can't be that cheap a house or area if your mortgage is 250k A 3 bed semi is round 155k where I live

@Janie143 , How is your post meant to be helpful?