I just can't understand...

[Marmut]

how some people manage their finance...

I am an immigrant and came here as a student with a stipend (no family supporting me financially). Even living on a stipend and a very part time work, during my study, I managed to save more than £10k. I did that by making sure I saved every month and minimised my ongoing by very rarely eating out, walking everywhere, cooking my food every day and socialising by inviting people over so I could do it on the cheap (cooking the food, etc.). I guess what I am trying to say is that I am not always have a good salary/income to rely on and yet I always manage to maximise savings by minimising my expenses so that I can spare some money to save.

Anyway, 19 years later after I came here, our mortgage was paid off, I have a saving of nearly 80% of my annual salary (my own, not a joint saving), an emergency buffer of about 3 months outgoing, my pension is also on track, and I may be able to retire 8-9 years earlier than the state pension age. We also have a £18k saving for our DD and, provided we continue with our monthly saving, it will be about £50k by the time she is 18. Although our joint income is about £100k (ony very recently), I carry on with weekly meal planning (adjusting the meal plan based on what is on offer) and keeping close watch on the budget of our groceries and family outings. I buy things when they are on sale and only replace things when they are broken. I continue bringing pack lunch daily and only occasionally buy lunch while at work. We do not deprive my DD of life experience, as we still still go to holidays abroad every year (which we plan ahead and I have a specific "top budget" in my mind) and she still joins any club she is interested in.

I am aware that my post sounds like a humble brag. But it really frustrates me to see how other people could have "got" out of a dire situation if only they were willing to manage their finances properly and go for the long game instead of instant gratification. Even saving a very small amount, if it is done regularly and continously, will make a big difference.

@Marmut well aren't you great. How lucky nothing has jumped up, bitten you in the ass and f*cked over all your plans / hard work. Lucky you.

Some people aren't good with money, some people are. Some people are lucky and don't have any illness, disability or life changing events, some people aren't so lucky. That's it really.

Well done you for having good luck and good money management.

I guess though that you can learn to be good with money

Sone people learn the hard way through absolute necessity , sone through their parents , and sone just don't bother but still like a good whinge

I didn't feel that OP was having a go at people for whom life has been unkind , but more about people for whom life has been basically kind but they have failed to see their luck and failed to take advantage of it

So you had no student loans to repay and your husband was already a homeowner for more than a decade before you moved in together.

You’re not really acknowledging this here.

I don't have any student debt

Well, aren't you the lucky one!

I know what you mean OP.

I literally got told on here I was lying for saying I managed to save up a £50k deposit by age 27, despite never having earned more than £21k at the time. Like you I literally just did it by being frugal, because to me, being able to afford my own house was more of a priority and would make me happier than anything else (saying that I wasn't living on baked beans and sitting in the dark, I still had holidays and bought stuff and enjoyed myself, just tried not to waste money).

I don't think anyone will disagree that there are people for whom, no matter how hard they try to save, it's just not possible and who literally do not have a penny spare at the end of each month, no matter how hard they work and how responsible/frugal they are with it, and that's completely understandable.

But there are absolutely many, many others who could absolutely save money quite easily but spend it on luxuries instead, and then moan that it's "impossible" to buy a house etc.

There are millions of people who have very little in savings or are even in debt, but have expensive phones, lease new cars every 3 years, get a takeaway once a week, spend £200 on haircuts and nails without blinking, etc.

Several different newspapers have weekly 'money diaries' - reading them is an eye opener about the sheer amount of money some people waste and then seem surprised they don't have any savings.

@latetothefisting

Love the money diaries, find it so fascinating. I've thought about doing one but it would make for boring reading 🤣

@midgetastic @latetothefisting Thanks. Yes, I I really don't intend to have a go at people. It is just like what you have said: in most circumstances, it is possible to save money by making some sacrifices here and there. However little the amount being put away, as long as it is done regularly and continously, it will lead to a buffer just in case sh!t hits the fans. Plus, the buffer can give "free" money through Interests in saving account or gain if invested in stock and shares.

@IAm16StoneHalloween2024 He owned his home. However he only had about less than £20k equities in the house after owning it for about 10 years. My saving was about £30 k after working for 4 years. He sold his house and we bought our current house.

@pompey38 No, I am from South East Asia. I grew up witnessing the "survival of the fittest" around me in the absence of of safety net/social welfare measures.

I also think a lot of it depends on your upbringing and if your parents put no emphasis on saving and not spending above your means.
An awful lot of people are quite shallow/ materialistic and are more concerned with keeping up with the Jones than living within their means and savings,

@MrTiddlesTheCat My salary 14 years ago was between £28-29 k. Not after tax. So, just above the median salary in UK then.

For the tax year ending 5 April 2011 the median gross annual earnings for full-time employees were £26,100. For men, the figure was £28,400, while for women the figure was £22,600.

https://www.ons.gov.uk

@Ponderingwindow You hit the nail on the head. It all comes down to budgeting. I still allocate funds for eating out, holidays, after school activities etc so I don't fritter money on the whim unnecessarily. By budgeting, I avoid friterring and have more or less a figure in my head to save regularly. So, if I do need money for emergencies, I don't need to rely on credit card or overdraft and get charged for interest. At the same time, while the money for emergency is "parked" waiting for to be used, it can give an interest/return here and there and accummulate nicely, providing a bigger safety net.

I guess what I don't understand is that, given that this is not some kind of secret knowledge, why there are still instances of people, who could have benefited from budgeting and managing finances, fell hard financially? Especially things are going to be looking more and more challenging, be it UK or globally. Looking at how things are going with future technology, I will consider my self lucky if I still could hold my job in 10 years time.

But yes, probably I'd better mind my own business and off on my high horse towards a fairly land.

no way you can compare your lifestyle to other people when your household income is £100k. Where I live many households struggle to earn half that amount. Easy to save when income is high. 🙄

Pleeeeeeease bore off

And no, my DD was not deprived of anything.

According to your standards, I suspect she will feel different when grown up.

I used to have great savings. Then I had my babies and my partner did not contribute at all financially. So I supplemented my mat leave pay with my savings and subsequent years spent raising them/working part time. My savings were drained and I was stuck. I'm now back to work full time but in a low paid job because I need to climb the ladder again. I want to leave but I can't afford to. I'm frugal like yourself but if you're financially held down by a partner it keeps you afloat only, I can't make progress.
Personal finance is just that - personal. You're lucky that you haven't (yet?) had setbacks. Your post is pretty yucky tbh.

Not everyone has the same chances in life: coming from poverty, ill health, children, business failures, relying on benefits, not enough wage to save etc. Not one life is comparable to another.

My thinking is somewhere in the middle. I got into a small amount of debt having lots of fun in my twenties. I paid it off of course but i don’t regret any of it. I lived life like a young person should while you have the energy and confidence to do so!

Im now debt averse bar mortgage we have none and much more into saving. Savings goes out on pay day and are budgeted. I have a Nhs pension. Partner a local gov one. However i will not live life too.
Im not into materialistic stuff but we like days out, meals out and holidays. Experiences.

I don’t want to be extreme frugal for a retirement that may never come ( my mum died at 61) or one that could potentially be filled with ill health (even the healthiest of people can get sick).There’s a balance of saving but enjoying life while you can. Of course depends on finances not everyone is on a higher wage.

When people comment how they see people spending so much unless you know them you don’t know how often, it could be saved for for months, it could be on credit or gifted. That meal out or takeaway you see them enjoying may be a birthday treat once a year.

Your salary back then is mine now….. with much higher living costs.

You save 80% of your wage but you'll only be able to retire 8-9 years early? Why is that?

I don't save 80% of my wage, not sure where you get this figure from. I only started to work full time in UK when I was 35 years old. So, very very late starter and I don't have much time to accumulate them.

You're like my parents and inlaws. Different mindset and they despair of things like leaving the tap running whilst you wash the dishes, not bringing your own food on a day trip. The next generation having benefitted from the financial sacrifices of their parents usually live it up

Yes, I agree that the living cost now is much higher, especially related to accommodation, and I symphatise with your situation.

I remember how I felt so fed up living in a room in a shared house (shared bathroom, kitchen and the like) in my 30's while studying in UK. I was too stingy to rent a one bed flat as I tried to minimise my living cost so I can save my stipend. Even now, I still feel miserable recalling those years 😆

Depends on all kinds of things- where you are prepared to live, partner being on same page about spending , health, we could save far more than we do, will partner live somewhere he seems not nice, nope, would he have less holidays nope , and his attitude to things like this has changed over the years too

I'm not sure about the parent thing - to some extent it makes sense that it's easier to understand about savings etc if you were brought up with it, but at the end of the day it is all learnable if you want to.

But me and my siblings were brought up exactly the same and all have completely different attitudes towards money.

Plus there are many people who completely rebel against the way their parents were - either seeing their parents constantly saying no to treats and being very frugal made them determined to enjoy their life and treat their kids or vice versa - growing up with parents who went mad at pay day and then cupboards were empty at the end of the month made them want to be more responsible.

I actually have more respect, in some ways, for people who spend a fortune but do it deliberately because they get pleasure from it, want to enjoy life, say "there's no pockets in a shroud" etc. That's just a difference priority to me and that's fine.

It's the people who moan that it's always someone else's fault (the government for making it "too hard" to buy a house, the bank for raising interest rates, their job for not paying them enough, their parents for not helping them out, their landlord for charging too much, etc. ) they don't have any money without acknowledging that at least some of that is also because they waste money.

I have a friend/colleague who wants to buy a house but hasn't saved a deposit and always whines that it's not fair most of the rest of our colleagues of a similar age have and that we are "lucky" - but it's not luck, we earn the same (actually until recently I earned less), I didn't get a deposit off my parents or anything - we just made different choices. I bought in a tin of soup every day for lunch and made my own coffee while she bought pret and a supermarket meal deal = at least £30 saved every week. I lived in a shitty houseshare when I started our job while she rented a nice flat on her own = £600plus a month saved. I went on holiday once a year, she did 2 big holidays and 3 mini breaks. Etc.