I just can't understand...

[Marmut]

how some people manage their finance...

I am an immigrant and came here as a student with a stipend (no family supporting me financially). Even living on a stipend and a very part time work, during my study, I managed to save more than £10k. I did that by making sure I saved every month and minimised my ongoing by very rarely eating out, walking everywhere, cooking my food every day and socialising by inviting people over so I could do it on the cheap (cooking the food, etc.). I guess what I am trying to say is that I am not always have a good salary/income to rely on and yet I always manage to maximise savings by minimising my expenses so that I can spare some money to save.

Anyway, 19 years later after I came here, our mortgage was paid off, I have a saving of nearly 80% of my annual salary (my own, not a joint saving), an emergency buffer of about 3 months outgoing, my pension is also on track, and I may be able to retire 8-9 years earlier than the state pension age. We also have a £18k saving for our DD and, provided we continue with our monthly saving, it will be about £50k by the time she is 18. Although our joint income is about £100k (ony very recently), I carry on with weekly meal planning (adjusting the meal plan based on what is on offer) and keeping close watch on the budget of our groceries and family outings. I buy things when they are on sale and only replace things when they are broken. I continue bringing pack lunch daily and only occasionally buy lunch while at work. We do not deprive my DD of life experience, as we still still go to holidays abroad every year (which we plan ahead and I have a specific "top budget" in my mind) and she still joins any club she is interested in.

I am aware that my post sounds like a humble brag. But it really frustrates me to see how other people could have "got" out of a dire situation if only they were willing to manage their finances properly and go for the long game instead of instant gratification. Even saving a very small amount, if it is done regularly and continously, will make a big difference.

You have no understanding of anyone else's circumstances
You lack insight to say the least

Have a medal for yet another benefit bashing thread.

I thought about that when writing haha, but genuinely this would be me walking by having bought something ‘needed’ from Boots and watching people with 5 shopping bags from clothing stores.

Well great for you. (Slow clap).

I guess it depends where you live in the country. I could buy ten houses in my home village on our combined salaries, but can't get on the property ladder in London, you know where we live, work and have our community

Congratulations, I guess? How lovely for you but not the case for lots of other people. It comes across as 'if only everyone did what I did, they'd be fine' but you seem to forget that people have vastly different experiences and circumstances to you.

Do you need a pat on the back or something?

You are being hilarious short sighted.
We both worked, then life pulled the rug out from under us - bereavements, chronic illness, family caring responsibilities.
We also lived below our means & saved........until we couldn't.
And all through this we STILL worked ( as much as chronic illness allowed).
Luckily for us we were able to pull ourselves back out of debt , but savings? Not a chance.

Sorry but I think that's really judgemental of you...

I barely go shopping at all so when I do, I save up in advance so I can treat myself. We actually went into the city last weekend which is my time "proper" shopping in over a year! I knew what I had to spend and got what I needed / wanted. If you walked past me you would probably think I had loads of money which could not be further from the truth but I needed new work clothes, shoes, sportswear and some other bits and wanted to try and get what I could in the Jan sales.

There are things you can and should do to limit the damage when life does you a 'rough-one' e.g. taking out life assurance that covers the remaining mortgage amount if one partner dies.

I made poor financial decisions in college. I am wiser now and am paying off debts, but these decisions, along the with fact that the laws around a loan I took out at the time changed, mean that I am still impacted by things I did over twenty years ago. Throw in the impact the 2008 financial crisis had on my finances and it means I'll never be able to buy a house. Moving house also wipes out my saving nearly every time. But staying in my previous apartments wasn't an option.

Shit is just really expensive. Sorry OP, but you got lucky doing things at the right time when you were quite young. You couldn't have known how the world would change and neither did we. Your decisions worked to your advantage, while mine didn't. I am happy for you, but you could easily have landed in my situation too. I did everything "right" on paper. Invested in my future by getting a degree that turned out to be next to worthless and only landed me in debt.

Cost of raising a child is £260k. I have three. You have one. There you go.

Eh, are you blaming her dead husband for not taking out life insurance?

And 'they' wonder why people are not having children...

The thing about the long game is actually getting to it - you are one extreme and there are others at the polar opposite end of it, those in the middle arguably have the best set-up in my view.

Where is the fun and getting most out of life if always watching your money and saving for a rainy day and retirement. Yes sensible in theory but not to the detriment of also living your life in your best years whilst also take some, possibly more balanced, approach to savings etc.

I've seen so many people take the approach you have only to have their retirements plagued with not actually being able to spend it.

You don’t write how much your stipend was. When DH did his PhD it was sponsored by a global firm and was as much as a really decent wage.

Some people do make poor financial choices no one would disagree with that but it is massively disingenuous of you to not comprehend the huge difference between starting out now and starting out almost 20 years ago.

Agree. Try taking out life insurance / mortgage cover when your husband's father died at 42 of a hereditary condition and your mother had (hereditary) cancer twice by the age of 50.

Yep. That’s the latest estimate of raising one to 18. So it doesn’t even cover uni years.

Shrouded in a lot of luck and privilege, you are making some good points. We all have some control over how we spend our money. I prioritise saving over some things that other people deem "essential" and it allows me to be a lot more comfortable on an unremarkable salary.

Same.

Several of my friends died before we were half way through our twenties. Life is about striking a balance between planning for the future and living in the moment for me. We are none of us guaranteed a tomorrow.

No need to quote OP like that!

OP in summary: I can't believe I, a graduate with a 6 figure household income have more savings than other people! It must be because of my meal planning.

Please tell me what degree you did - I bet it wasn't Economics?

I think "blame" is a harsh word but in a thread about bragging financial prudence using a real life example to highlight the importance of protecting your family I'm sure the quoted poster would recommend it to everyone.

Being financially aware is so important and it is a skill many of us are lacking.

How lovely for you that you were able to live within walking distance of everything you needed. I would love to be able to walk to work, but it would take me several hours. As it is, I have to spend about £300 per month just on transport. I hope you understand that luck has played a huge part in your current situation.

Circumstances change, and they can change very fast. I was married, we had a very small mortgage on a little house in a gorgeous village. We had four children in very quick succession, so I gave up work because of lack of childcare. We moved hundreds of miles for his job, sold our house but moved into rented because the house took a long while to sell. We had another baby and then split up. So I'm left with five kids, in a rented house, no job, no family and no childcare. I eventually got a job but could only work part time because it had to be in a school so I had holidays free to care for the children.

So basically, no house, no career, lots of kids, pitiful pay... From decent job, marriage, own house. It's very easily (and quickly) done.

Why do you care how others manage their finances? Are they asking to borrow money off you? If so just refuse.
Otherwise just be happy you've got what you have and you're obviously very pleased with yourself.
Looking down upon people for being poor isn't a particularly good look though. It makes you look like you lack understanding and empathy.