I just can't understand...

[Marmut]

how some people manage their finance...

I am an immigrant and came here as a student with a stipend (no family supporting me financially). Even living on a stipend and a very part time work, during my study, I managed to save more than £10k. I did that by making sure I saved every month and minimised my ongoing by very rarely eating out, walking everywhere, cooking my food every day and socialising by inviting people over so I could do it on the cheap (cooking the food, etc.). I guess what I am trying to say is that I am not always have a good salary/income to rely on and yet I always manage to maximise savings by minimising my expenses so that I can spare some money to save.

Anyway, 19 years later after I came here, our mortgage was paid off, I have a saving of nearly 80% of my annual salary (my own, not a joint saving), an emergency buffer of about 3 months outgoing, my pension is also on track, and I may be able to retire 8-9 years earlier than the state pension age. We also have a £18k saving for our DD and, provided we continue with our monthly saving, it will be about £50k by the time she is 18. Although our joint income is about £100k (ony very recently), I carry on with weekly meal planning (adjusting the meal plan based on what is on offer) and keeping close watch on the budget of our groceries and family outings. I buy things when they are on sale and only replace things when they are broken. I continue bringing pack lunch daily and only occasionally buy lunch while at work. We do not deprive my DD of life experience, as we still still go to holidays abroad every year (which we plan ahead and I have a specific "top budget" in my mind) and she still joins any club she is interested in.

I am aware that my post sounds like a humble brag. But it really frustrates me to see how other people could have "got" out of a dire situation if only they were willing to manage their finances properly and go for the long game instead of instant gratification. Even saving a very small amount, if it is done regularly and continously, will make a big difference.

Weren’t you lucky.

You had a stipend and a part time job.

let’s say you worked a 9hr day per week at £6 per hour so £54 per week.

compare that to a student today who might earn double that so £108 per week, no stipend and a loan for fees.

You maybe rented a room for £40 per week, that same room now costs £150

You’re paying for your accommodation out of you earnings with £14 per week left over. Plus you have your stipend.

Todays student is negative £42 plus they have a loan for their fees.

And that’s just one part of the equation.

Having said that, I suppose, most UCs are supposed to be a safety net and meant to be a temporary measures rather than permanent ones.

Except that for many people, it’s not a temporary measure. Because MW isn’t a living wage and they need support even when working.

Oh yes, not the same people, and I think this is also what @InveterateWineDrinker meant.
People who have money they could save are choosing to spend it on clothes, going out etc. And because these things are really expensive now it has an impact on their finances.

I’m fairly comfortable but honestly when I see the prices of things I can’t bring myself to spend these amounts. For ex going to an event with food stalls: people are queuing for 8-10£ portions of fries. And I’m talking ‘normal’ looking families.

Surly there is a middle ground between not saving anything / making your life utterly miserable.

Apart from that the biggest difference is tgat you are an immigrant.
Dont underestimate that. The wish to do well, to be financially safe and secure is clearly a huge driver for you.
Most people do not have the same drive.

I had shit careers advice that pushed me into uni when I wasn't ready and told me "you can be anything you want" when it's not really true for those from low income families.

I know loads of people for whom a stipend would have changed everything and in some cases enabled them to actually complete their degree that they had to drop out of so didn't get the shiny graduate jobs afterwards. Good to know those stipends go to people who really truly need them to subsist off to make studying possible so they can have careers in the future. 🤔

I think you should pay back that stipend with interest to one of the charitable funding organisations for students and stop gloating that you took it away from someone else when you didn't need it.

Other than the holidays your life sounds miserable and spent in a constant state of penny pinching.

Yes it's good to save and be frugal if necessary but you seem to have based your whole life on being as tight as you possibly can.

A life half lived.

10 years ago I was starting from scratch, post-divorce, on the bones of my arse with 2 DC on tax credits desperately searching for a job around the dc. Times were HARD.

In my office are women the same age I was then, 2 incomes, 1 kid and still scratching around every month. But before Christmas it was all 'got to get this for dc1, and this for dc2, visits to father Christmas at £50 for 2, Christmas wonderland trips, birthday parties at expensive venues, meals out at the drop of a hat. None of which I could justify never mind afford 10 years ago.

I agree that EVERYTHING is more expensive but there seems to be a HUGE pressure on lots of people to spend more, or that spending gives their kids a better life, but leaves the parents scrimping and saving, with no life insurance, or emergency funds should things really go south.

As a fellow immigrant, this is an embarrassing comment and I think you should take it back. Most working people aren't in poverty because they don't try hard enough or aren't driven enough.

You do realise that 95% of the population do not have access to the resources you have don't you?

Not go mention that someone here sponsored you when you arrived, hence the stipend.

Without them giving you a massive leg up with finances you would not have been so fortunate.

Your circumstances are not comparable with most who were born here.

I'd hate to live with someone like you. So tight with money all the time. Very unattractive and not the way I want to live.

I don’t see the point in this post apart from basically trying to make everyone else feel like shit.
I also agree with the previous poster that it seems you have penny pinched and missed out on a lot of things just so that you can tell everyone how financially stable you are. I agree, a life half lived.

It's not a humble brag - it's all about priorities but you don't seem to understand that. Your 'way' of living is not going to be the best way for everyone.

Life for most is about living. For me honestly the epitome of hell would be saving and scrimping every penny. I can, and have been frugal in periods of my life that are necessary. I have a decent savings buffer. But retiring early is not my goal! Ensuring every penny is allocated in the best way possible isn't either. I like spending a chunk of my outgoings on 'fun' things for me and DS to experience whilst he's young. I enjoy having a full wardrobe of pretty things. I like not having to think about things like if I can afford/justify buying lunch out or if I'm going to splurge on another beach trip with DS.

There's a solid middle ground between where you are, and people who are frequently living beyond their means. But I would not say frugality and only shopping sales/when something is broken is a way I'd want to live.

I do agree that some people do not know how to budget but that was me before I got into a lot of debt. So I learnt my lesson the hard way. Now I find joy in the small things and not the material possessions.

I am frugal in most areas but will spend on travel. I guess it's striking the balance between living for now and saving everything for retirement when that isn't even a given.

Also, we really do not know what is around the corner and it doesn't take much to end up in debt through circumstances - loss of job/partner/health.

I'm currently saving to buy a house. I would be so much richer had I purchased one in my 20s but hey ho, no point crying over split milk.

I would imagine that having one DC is a factor, childcare is a huge cost for most over which there is very little control.

Uncontrollable bills are absolutely the worst. Yes, you can reduce energy and food consumption but things such as council tax are totally beyond people's control unless they move. Ours has massively increased in the 15 years since we've been in our current house: we could move but that's another huge mass of expense.

That’s impressive OP. May I ask a few questions?
What level of undergraduate student debt did you need to pay off?
Do you live in an urban area which gives you access to public transport, walking distance shops/work etc?
Did you have multiple jobs or did you have caring responsibilities for older generations which stopped you doing that?
Did your stipend (assuming to cover living while doing a higher degree) lead to a high the an average earning job?

Agree, a lot of people are deliberately minimising their savings (and doing other things) in order to still get UC, instead of building their savings with the intention of getting off UC.

Congrats on being brilliant OP.

I am aware that my post sounds like a humble brag

You should have left off the 'humble' part.

You managed to save 10K as a student from a stipend and part time job. So either your stipend was incredibly generous, or your part time job paid extremely well, or both.
When I was a student a had a grant (no parental support) and also worked part time. I couldn't possibly have saved anything. I barely managed to cover my course fees, bills, I often went without food. Good for you.

You then go on to earn 100K joint income. When the average household joint income in the UK is £32K.

It certainly sounds like you live a responsible, sensible, frugal life, but can you genuinely not see that other people live the same way but earn significantly less and have other expenses, leaving them in poverty?

Living within your means is admirable. Arrogance and snobbery is not.

Every time I visit a shopping center or high street I’m really surprised at the amount of people buying/eating out.

You think this whilst you are at the exact same shopping centre / high street.... Presumably shopping / eating out? 😂

My parents also paid mortgage off very early and retired early. It was done by being mean, mostly with us kids. No school trips, driving lessons or any help. Also by providing a much lower standard of living to live on one wage and bank all the other. I have done the opposite, provided nice holidays and made memories. They would have got no benefit from me over paying the mortgage.
Everything you do has a cost. No way would I make my kids live poor to hord money

You wouldn’t have your mortgage paid off and all that money saved were if it wasn’t for the most effective ‘tool’ of all to creating wealth - another household income. Possibly you wouldn’t have even been able to get a mortgage years ago by yourself. So please spare us anymore of your insincere sanctimony about the importance of saving.

It's all ok until your husband has to give up work suddenly due to health reasons, the tiny amount of benefit he gets is shit, and the other person- me- becomes the chief breadwinner.

Here’s your medal 🥇

Nobody needs you to understand their finances.