15K loan without my knowledge

[christmas00stressballs]

Looking for kind responses please. What would you do if your DH took out a 15K loan without your knowledge? In his name but I'm expected to help pay it off.
We struggle. We only just make ends meet. We have no savings.
I feel sick about it. I'm not coping.
For context, I don't know where we can save elsewhere. We need 2 cars as we live rural, 2 young kids, 1 in nursery. I'm in a low paid job, jobs are scarce where we are. Only hospitality and those are unsociable hours.
Please put yourself in my shoes.

Why did he take it out?

What did he take the money out for?

I would be furious but my reaction would depend on what the loan was for

What’s the loan for?

Me ex husband did this, secured on our property. I divorced him and sold the property.

I’ve been in your situation, it was to fund a gambling and drug habit, I threw him out and divorced him. It was the final straw.

I wouldn’t be happy but it would depend what the loan was for?

I’d be cross if he took a 15k loan without my knowledge, unless there was a valid reason. Ie. To replace a car etc. However, should have been discussed first.

Did he handle all the finances or do you usually discuss?

I would be furious in this situation but we discuss everything

If you usually leave it to him I'd say it depends what it's for. Leaking roof? Car repairs? Consolidating high interest rate debt?

As to what you could do you could post your situation if you want advice. Downsize House? Move to a less rural area with better jobs ?

I wouldn't expect him to tell me if he'd taken out a loan - his money, his business.
However, I also wouldn't expect to have to contribute my money towards the repayments. Why isn't he paying it off himself, as presumably it was based solely on his income?

Depends what it is for? If it's a consolidation loan then it may help free up your finances and lighten the financial burden.

If it's to go on holiday to Disney World then it's ridiculous.

Either way though, should have been discussed and mutually agreed.

For a holiday of a lifetime.

How much did he take out @Doggymummar?

care to elaborate?

That's ridiculous. You can't afford a holiday of a lifetime if you need to get into dept to pay for it. You need to pay off dept and build savings. You don't need a holiday. Has he booked it?

15k for a holiday if a lifetime that’s not been discussed - I’d be fuming (have you posted this before?).

Then I would tell him to take the 15k, pay the loan straight back, assuming overpayments allowed, and if not open a separate bank account (joint so you can see transactions) and have the loan repayments come out of that account and not spend any of the funds. I would also tell him if he booked this holiday, or didn’t agree to make all such financial decisions jointly in future, I would divorce him.

We're you involved in booking the holiday? If so where did you think the money was coming from to pay for it if you know that money is tight?

@BoldExpert
We haven't been abroad for over 10 years the kids have never been abroad in their lives. We are in our 40s with young kids. My husband thought that we would soon be too old and that we should do it now.

I have put a holiday on a credit card and it’s not worth it when you spend all year paying it back. And that was only part of it. It’s not worth being in debt to go on holiday unless you’re terminally ill and don’t have time or something.

In all honesty I would divorce him. He needs to pay the money back to the loan immediately, hopefully he might be within a 14 day cooling off period if he hasn’t spent it already. It would most definitely be a deal breaker sadly.

Just seen the update and I get his reasoning but 15k?!

Yes I did post and didn't have many responses. The kids know and I'll be the bad guy if I make him return it all. I don't know the implications of cancelling everything.

£15k is a lot of money. People saying divorce him is a very extreme reaction!

Has the holiday been booked? Can the loan be cancelled? Then you can save up for it instead.

I see it can’t be cancelled.

What’s he like usually? I think you both need a calm discussion about it. What’s his plan for repaying?