How will I manage as an older single person once kids have left

[Dogmam9273]

I'm currently married with two teens. Wanting to separate but have felt trapped financially and with the kids as I couldn't have provided for them if i was single as I earn minimum wage, husband a high earner.
Very soon I will file for divorce, won't get any money out of it as we have hardly any savings but i will be able to buy a small apartment /house outright so will be mortgage free.
I work full time on minimum wage, can't see this ever changing, if anything i need to work less. I have chronic painful conditions , depression and anxiety (although that may go away once apart from husband) I have 2 elderly parents that I will be caring for as I'm an only child.
I know I can claim UC whilst children are with me /in education but what about when they are adults?
My income is £1500 which won't cover my outgoings or enable me to live any kind of life that I desperately crave. I feel so trapped and can't see a way out of my situation.
How do older single people manage financially? Especially if they have health conditions?

And you won't have rent or a mortgage. You'll be able to give off 1500 quid OP.

There are many outgoings if you own a home, not mentioned here, if you're living there for 30+ years.

Decorating - inside and out using tradesmen.
New carpets or flooring
Eventually perhaps replacing bathrooms etc as well as white goods.
Maintaining a garden

Are you putting money aside now into a private pension?

You should be fine. I rent privately , retired due to ill.health at 70. Housing benefit is £200 below rental so i pay that. No car . Luckily have a bus pass and 25%council tax reduction. (ATM) stare pension and a tiny private one that just puts me above level for any PC.
I like cooking and am quite frugal. Never have a holiday and rarely go out. But I enjoy reading and walking and major expenses are gifts for DGC ( who certainly don't expect anything but I enjoy it.)
Compared to an unhappy marriage ,I'm living a very happy life.
Compared to the struggle some people are going through with providing for children ( even people on " good" incomes) I'm comfortable. You will be fine and will adapt . Probably be much happier.

Can you buy a property that it is easy to get a lodger in. Ideally a professional week day only lodger.

Some properties lend themselves much better to this than others. Eg a flat with both rooms having an ensuite or a terraced townhouse with a bedroom downstairs.

You dont need a lodger forever, but you can use it to build up some savings for a couple of years.

https://www.moneyhelper.org.uk/en/pensions-and-retirement/pension-wise

Who is saying the OP isn’t getting the help she can for her health?
You realise that some conditions dint have treatments and are life long?!!
Saying you have health conditions that stop you from working,or working full time etc… isn’t being a martyr. It’s the reality for thousands of people.

If you have health conditions that limit your ability to work, or do any normal activity, you can apply for PIP.

Go chat to a solicitor and see what your best case and worst case financial outcome would be. 50/50 is a starting point and the pendulum swings based on various factors. Having had a min wage job to support family life is a big factor.

There is a huge gap though between a health condition that can limit working and the possibility of being awarded PIP.

I've just retired early because fibromyalgia was making me too exhausted to work ( own pension/ self employed so did not have to get agreement to draw down a pension early on health grounds). I manage by careful pacing. On a particular day I could be quite active but would then need one or more "do nothing" days to recover.
I would get nowhere applying for PIp. I've spoken to a friend who adjudicates appeals for PIP and shee agrees.

You can apply but you won't get it
I can feed myself, exercise and keep myself clean on a good day
I can work, but on a bad day it's work then bed and no meal. I have a list of health conditions and still not entitled to PIP

You need proper legal advice.

£1500 with no mortgage is plenty to live off, once bills are paid you'd have around £1000 left to spend/save.

That said I think you'll be entitled to more than half the house.

Indeed. Several people with families have less than that after rent/mortgage paid. I think u r worrying unnecessarily OP, not a criticism. Probably fear of the unknown,
Wishing u well 4 the next chapter

I didn't say she would get it, we don't know enough and I'm not an assessor. But people do get it and the starting point is to apply.

I think you'll be fine op. You'll perhaps have to get used to living with a bit less but I think you can still have a decent life with £1500. Can you buy a car outright with part of the money from the house sale? I've still got lovely, good quality clothes that I buy from Vinted and charity shops.

Do make sure you get your share of pension and do this properly through a solicitor. I didn't and ended up with my exH's smallest pension of 8k. Do you have any forgotten about pensions? I had an admin job many years ago for only five years and my pension from that job has increased hugely...not enough for an actual pension but I've transferred it to a private pension account so I'll have a fairly substantial lump sum when I'm 55.

I understand your conditions because I have anxiety/depression/chronic fatigue/autism/adhd. To be honest, I had to move in with my elderly mother when my benefits stopped. You don't have to look after your parents...I do it because I have no choice really. Your health should be your top priority because without that you won't even have £1500.

I live on £1500 a month, and that includes £300pm paying the rent on my shared ownership property. I have a dog, run a car - no car finance - and have a 2 week holiday abroad each year.
You will adapt... I see it as a challenge!
I also sold a lot of clothes etc on vinted to create an emergency fund, which I don't touch at all.
It might sound mercenary, but I'd be getting divorced before your parents pass away - he could claim half of any inheritance as a marital asset if you are still together

Your health should be your top priority because without that you won't even have £1500.

That’s really worth repeating.
This includes two things really

• how much impact does your relationship have on your health? You mention that anxiety could well be driven by your dh/marriage.
• whatever you are doing re your parents, you’ll have to put yourself first, however hard it is.

I have a chronic illness too and I’m disabled so I get where you’re coming from as well as the worries.

In the kindest way possible, you’re left with £2100 per month and have a higher salary (which also means a possible promotion, wage increase etc…).
Its a very different situation than the OP

I will take a punt that you have previously taken very little interest in the family financial affairs

You have no idea how things were done
eg the husband saying he is the one to sort out most things as HE knows etc….
They might not even have a joint account for all we know….

State pension is closer to £980 a month now. Also, why would you only have a state pension? You need to pay into your own private or work pension.

Op will be whilst she has dependent kids. Uc is pretty generous for people with kids and child maintenance isn't counted as income. My colleague is in a similar situation and has just had her second foreign holiday of the year this time for 2.5 weeks and she only works four days and has one dependent child. The first £600 + of earnings is disregarded altogether then earnings reduce Uc on a taper and as I said CM not counted at all.

I live alone since DH died. If I didn’t have a mortgage or rent, £1500 would be ample to live on. 🤷‍♀️

Well I'm on just above NMW and live in a 2 bed flat, I do have a spouse earning similarly but we live pretty frugally and once the mortgage is paid off we'll have quite a bit spare to pay for retirement. It really pays to use sites like Martin Lewis Moneysavers to get the cheapest deals. I know I'm not in quite the same situatio but here's my monthly budget in case it's useful:

£52 travel pass
£37 gym
£20 charity
£50 pension
£110 Council tax (this would be lower for a single person)
£30 netflix/prime/audible
£20 broadband (Plusnet)
£36 water
£55 gas/electric (Ovo)
£250 food (mainly Aldi)
£40 eating out/takeaways
£7 sim only mobile (Lebara)
£10 service fees (we are very lucky this is so low as it is an ex-council flat, beware 'luxury apartments' with steep service costs)
Total 707

So there is still some spare for saving, hobbies or little luxuries, we do manage a few camping trips/cheap city breaks and the off foreign holiday. Not a life of luxury by any means but not struggling.

and that is why i said “i’d take a punt” 😆

I don’t “know” anything about a single poster on mumsnet and nor… do you!