Renting while parents own over £1.4million in property

[Emmav2020]

Just after peoples thoughts. So myself and OH pay £1000 in rent a month aswell as having 2 kids and paying a fortune in childcare. My parents own the above amount in property. Now while ive spend over £50,400 paying rent i was thinking and kind of got myself annoyed that my parents are sat on that kind of money while im still renting. Even if they gave me a small deposit i would be forever grateful just so we can get ourselves a mortgage and onto the property ladder. my sister was given a hefty chunk my her in-laws to buy a house so shes find.
I mean we have save a bit ourselves but its nowhere near what we need
Would you be annoyed or do i have no right in thinking they could help us just a little.

I own my own house and I have helped my children as well. This though is not a given and I am a little shocked that you should feel agrieved that your parents have not offered to help you with a deposit and I am sorry that you do feel that way. Your choices in life are your choices and I am sure if your parents had suggested you purchase a house before having children you would have been writing about that on this site. Please accept your own plight and stop feeling that you have rights to your parents money - you could find yourself left out of their will altogether.

How old are they?
Are they retired?

How much did they pay for the property?

I would definitely help my child if i had those assets

100% this!

I get you as similar position. My dad always says I should buy for security etc but I'm a single/sole parent and unable to save when paying rent and bills etc :( He has 4 houses.
A lot of parents do help out with deposits as the new builds near us run a scheme linked ro bank of mum/dad. If parents give a deposit then the company will double it.
Siblings got deposits from parents in law.

You are an adult, why is it up to your parents to pay for you ? You choose to have children, nobody forced you. Did you save the childcare cost and what it would cost you in reduced wages on mat leave? If not that's your fault nobody else's.

Your parents are entitled to do what they want with their money. Who knows, they may have very little spare cash. They may even need to pay for their own care down the line.

I am sure your parents worked for what they have, you should do the same.
Don't really get why people always mention "and we have two kids" and have to pay nursery fees. Again your problem!

From various MN posts over the years, I'd say it would appear very few people understand what house price inflation means.

Or much more likely, they don't want to accept it because the 'waaah older people have SO much momey, it isnt FAIR' line is vey, very popular and it would screw with that.

I mean, you can easily pay your bills with bits of your house, right? Right?

And yes, we did give the kids chunky deposits. Because we were lucky to have spare cash.

So, what are you saying? They have an expensive house so should give you money? But what if their money is tied up in the house and they are cash poor? What do you want them to do - sell their house?

YANBU. I don't know exactly how old your parents are but I'm guessing they are of a generation for whom first and second properties were relatively cheap to purchase and they've made a lot on their house. I think if they have spare cash, it would be nice for them to give you a deposit. Of course it all depends on how many children they have and how much spare cash they have.

The expectation of parental support is self-limiting.

Focus on what you can do to achieve your ambitions as a starter. Anything from parents is a bonus.

People are so harsh on here! As a parent of 2 and GP of 2 I would and do help mine to the best of my financial ability. My mother died last year after sitting on a lot of money left by hers a little of which could really have helped me during difficult times. So the thought is not unreasonable providing they do not have to sell to help. Life is hard these days you work hard get nowhere. Many older people made big money from property held for a long time but may not be cash rich. I am still waiting for my inheritance to come through I would rather be generous while alive and see mine enjoy it .

They may not have money floating around to give you.

Thay may think you are happy to rent, living a comfortable a life with annual holidays etc.

We own over 1 million in property, most people do, it's assets though - they aren't sat on actual cash - you sound greedy - work and get your own house. They need their money for retirement homes.

For those saying that people should delay having kids until they own a home:

The current age of first time buyers is currently mid 30s and rising. If trends continue, waiting for home ownership will soon become incompatible with female fertility. What would you expect people to do in this scenario?

For the record, I myself delayed parenthood until the eleventh hour, trying to get a house first. Not sure it was the right decision.

I'm curious about the demographics and life experiences of people with different views on this topic.

YABU. Entitled much.
Why did you put having kids before buying a house? Why are your life decisions on your parents?
They are likely living in a high value house or own property they bought as a pension. This was a common way of saving.
They have brought up you and your sister.
After that, it's down to you. You are an adult, make your way and stop expecting them to bail you out.

Have you actually asked them? They might think you're happy the way things are, or couldn't afford to pay a mortgage.

A house could be valued at that, but are they asset rich cash poor? If so they may not have the cash to lend you.

It is their house. You are an adult. They owe you nothing now.

My parents and grandparents have millions in assets. My in laws just decided they want another house and are paying for it outright no mortgages and that’s over £1m
no one gave us a penny and we can’t afford. My in laws did buy for dh siblings so sometimes he feels it’s not fair to give everyone but him which I understand and agree.
but I don’t get it, no one owes me their money? Why do you feel you are owed the money?

I'd suggest you look at upskilling to boost your own earning power, if it's not currently enough, instead of expecting handouts from parents.

It’s your life. They don’t owe you a deposit or anything from their property. Your focus should be on yourself.

Have you spoken to them? Or are you thinking they should just offer?

My parents nor DH’s parents gave us much of anything when they were alive, and we didn’t expect it. I received a modest inheritance, my DH did rather better. Would the money have helped us out earlier? Absolutely. Did we have the right to ask? No.

i agree with others who say it depends on if it’s that they have cash in the bank or if it’s just invested in the house.