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Renting while parents own over £1.4million in property

479 replies

Emmav2020 · 30/08/2024 15:00

Just after peoples thoughts. So myself and OH pay £1000 in rent a month aswell as having 2 kids and paying a fortune in childcare. My parents own the above amount in property. Now while ive spend over £50,400 paying rent i was thinking and kind of got myself annoyed that my parents are sat on that kind of money while im still renting. Even if they gave me a small deposit i would be forever grateful just so we can get ourselves a mortgage and onto the property ladder. my sister was given a hefty chunk my her in-laws to buy a house so shes find.
I mean we have save a bit ourselves but its nowhere near what we need
Would you be annoyed or do i have no right in thinking they could help us just a little.

OP posts:
AngelicKaty · 31/08/2024 19:48

"Would you be annoyed or do I have no right in thinking they could help us just a little?"
You have NO right thinking they could/should help you. You and your OH are adults, have made your own decisions to arrive at your current situation, and your parents have no responsibility whatsoever to give you any money, so stop being annoyed (and entitled).

SeenYourArse · 31/08/2024 19:51

Wow you sound very entitled! It’s your responsibility to get on in life nobody else’s! You should’ve stayed living with your parents in said presumably decent sized property of theirs whilst you saved a deposit to buy a house and done that BEFORE having kids and getting married. There’s a very good reason why that it the traditional way of doing things, people don’t do that anymore then moan they can’t save for a deposit whilst also paying not only running costs of a house but also childcare it’s madness and only yourself to blame here 😂
My parents also have a couple of high value properties, myself and my DH own a single modest property with a mortgage that my parents contributed zero towards nor did his! The help I got was being allowed to stay living in my family home until we saved enough for a deposit not a cash handout, we did this before we had our kids, in fact waiting until we were financially able to afford children took until we were 30 to start trying when we had bought our first house and got married. That’s life you chose your own path they don’t owe you a dime.

Mantissatopower4 · 31/08/2024 19:54

1.4 million in property sounds to me that it could be multiple properties. It seems almost the norm that parents have to, want to Help their children to get on the property ladder.

Whatinthedoopla · 31/08/2024 19:55

So you want them to sell the house they love to make you happier?

Millie1501 · 31/08/2024 19:55

@Emmav2020 I actually get why you are annoyed. Things are different nowadays compared to previous generations. It is so much harder to get on the property ladder now, so much cash is needed but cost of living makes it very difficult to save enough. The previous generations need to understand that we don’t have it as good as they did and be willing to help if they can. I don’t know why your parents can’t downsize now that their children are grown and have moved out. That is something I intend to do in the future to free up cash for my kids, no doubt it’ll be even more difficult to get on the property ladder by then.

Iwantascone · 31/08/2024 19:57

Sometimes parents can be more reluctant to help children who don't seem to put much effort into helping themselves. Or if they aren't wild about the partner who would also benefit. Not necessarily the case here, of course.

Cem82 · 31/08/2024 20:00

That is entitled, my parents have more than that tied up in property between them, property is expensive these days so that doesn’t actually mean they have loads of expendable income. Also nursing homes and carers are expensive so they need to make sure they have something set aside. I rent, I don’t expect their money - they earned it, I did not.

AnnieSnap · 31/08/2024 20:04

You sound very self entitled. It’s your parents home. Do you seriously expect them to sell up, so that you can have money from their home for yours? Work for your own money, build your own life. Your parents have brought you up. Their life isn’t over and it’s just as important as yours 🙄

Vinomummyinlockdown · 31/08/2024 20:04

Yep. MIL sits on mega assets and has lots of income that she sits on. She does NOTHING. Sits on sofa. Doesn’t travel or spend a penny. She is 85. I always wonder why she doesn’t distribute it a bit seeing as she does nothing with her money! If it was me I’d make sure my kids / grandkids at least had funds and lived their lives whilst they could … seems like I’m the only one who thinks like this!!!

FoxtrotOscarFoxtrotOscar · 31/08/2024 20:05

Next time, decline going on holiday with them and simply say you cannot afford it.

TransformerZ · 31/08/2024 20:11

Vinomummyinlockdown · 31/08/2024 20:04

Yep. MIL sits on mega assets and has lots of income that she sits on. She does NOTHING. Sits on sofa. Doesn’t travel or spend a penny. She is 85. I always wonder why she doesn’t distribute it a bit seeing as she does nothing with her money! If it was me I’d make sure my kids / grandkids at least had funds and lived their lives whilst they could … seems like I’m the only one who thinks like this!!!

She's probably wondering why you don't earn your own instead of jealously looking at hers!
Here's hoping she leaves it to cats.

Vinomummyinlockdown · 31/08/2024 20:17

No, SHE earned it less than I earned our money .. hers came from husbands (deceased) investments but you crack on. It’ll be ours soon enough.

SnufkinsSpiritAnimal · 31/08/2024 20:22

Just to add a data point - many people rent because they wish to, don't have kids, and like to move around every now and again.
It is tiring to see it perpetually associated with poverty or a lack of choice.

The UK is especially odd regarding home ownership. Much of Europe do well with it, it ought to be a personal choice and not a desperation, where people will buy anything, however rancid or ubiquitous, just to 'get on the ladder'..

As an artist, I have been lucky enough to live in some very beautiful parts of the country, for many years, which I could not have done if I'd had a mortgage.

Add to that, the perpetual finger wagging of "you will regret this when you are a pensioner!" creates a constant climate of fear. It does nothing to ease the endless cycles of stress in society. I do have several older (70+) friends who are renting and have quite enviable lives.
Perhaps the traditional, nuclear family model, combined with a lack of decent quality housing country-wide needs addressing?

Sadly, Britain's current obsession with home ownership unbalances both the availability and quality of private renting, making it quite difficult and unaffordable for many, especially those with children.

As a country we really could do better than this, we should have housing to suit everyone.

My parents also owned inordinately expensive property, although downsized drastically many years before they passed. They had absolutely no obligation to reduce their quality of life to suit myself or my sibling.
It is a sign of a rotten society when we have to plan ahead to our parent's death to be able to find housing satisfaction. Change is important, not keeping this toxic mindset alive.

TransformerZ · 31/08/2024 20:22

Vinomummyinlockdown · 31/08/2024 20:17

No, SHE earned it less than I earned our money .. hers came from husbands (deceased) investments but you crack on. It’ll be ours soon enough.

Crack onto what?
Being envious on an old woman's wealth?
It's hers not yours.
Hopefully, she can feel your jealousy and acts accordingly.

Doubledenim305 · 31/08/2024 20:27

Heatherbell1978 · 30/08/2024 15:15

Do they have a house worth £1.4m or £1.4m sitting in a bank account. There is a difference. You can't literally extract cash from a building. It's like when people say their house is their pension. I wonder if they realise they need to sell the house to get the funds. And then they'd have nowhere to live.

Surely they just mean they would downsize and live off the remainder?

KimKardashiansLostEarring · 31/08/2024 20:27

TransformerZ · 31/08/2024 19:17

We own over 1 million in property, most people do, it's assets though - they aren't sat on actual cash - you sound greedy - work and get your own house. They need their money for retirement homes.

Most people don’t have £1m in property. Get into the real world. Absolutely lost any credibility by saying that!

Doubledenim305 · 31/08/2024 20:29

TerfTalking · 30/08/2024 17:17

We did the same for our daughter but she knows despite what we legally wrote down it is, and always was, a loan to help her get on the ladder.

the family agreement we have is that she could borrow it for ten years interest free and after that time if she hadn’t got a partner and bought together she would remortgage and pay us back. It was a significant amount which she couldn’t have got on the ladder without, despite saving over 20k herself.

Now four years down the line she’s engaged and her fiancé has his own flat, they will sell both and buy together after the wedding, when we will be repaid.

Great thinking and parenting OP🎯

Vinomummyinlockdown · 31/08/2024 20:30

Jealousy. I’d like her to maybe spend a few bucks on her young grand children. And just to annoy you even more - we are set to get most of it in her will anyway so enjoy!! You’re the jealous one here. I’m simply saying if it were me in her cash position not using a penny of it I’d make sure my grand kids or kids had use of a bit of it to enjoy life whilst still able to rather than sit on it, not using it at all. She’s not enjoying it. But we will in future.

Pafans · 31/08/2024 20:30

We dont know all the details, but you sound very entitled

Somepeoplearesobitter · 31/08/2024 20:31

Asset rich, cash poor sprang to mind!

TransformerZ · 31/08/2024 20:31

KimKardashiansLostEarring · 31/08/2024 20:27

Most people don’t have £1m in property. Get into the real world. Absolutely lost any credibility by saying that!

Like I care if you think if I have credibility!
Most people I know do, there corrected.

KimKardashiansLostEarring · 31/08/2024 20:34

My parents are early-mid 60s, and while they haven’t given us a chunk of money, luckily for me they are normal, nice people and would much rather see their money put to good use while they’re alive. Hence they have paid for a family holiday for the past 6 years, spoil the grandkids, pay for nice meals, pay for one off purchases. They’re looking to downsize (yes, obviously to release money. Why the fuck wouldnt you?? They don’t need a 4 bed) but their house isn’t selling.

Someone up thread said ‘well, if you’d only got on the housing ladder before you had kids, you wouldn’t be in this housing predicament’. 1) so patronising and 2) so out of touch - sorry to break it to you but likelihood is OP would have neither a house nor kids!

KimKardashiansLostEarring · 31/08/2024 20:34

TransformerZ · 31/08/2024 20:31

Like I care if you think if I have credibility!
Most people I know do, there corrected.

😂 talk about living in a bubble 😂 get some perspective.

TransformerZ · 31/08/2024 20:35

Vinomummyinlockdown · 31/08/2024 20:30

Jealousy. I’d like her to maybe spend a few bucks on her young grand children. And just to annoy you even more - we are set to get most of it in her will anyway so enjoy!! You’re the jealous one here. I’m simply saying if it were me in her cash position not using a penny of it I’d make sure my grand kids or kids had use of a bit of it to enjoy life whilst still able to rather than sit on it, not using it at all. She’s not enjoying it. But we will in future.

I'm not jealous of vultures that prey on old ladies.
Why would I be annoyed if a loser inherits or not?!
I have money that I worked for.

TransformerZ · 31/08/2024 20:36

KimKardashiansLostEarring · 31/08/2024 20:34

😂 talk about living in a bubble 😂 get some perspective.

Yeah, my perspective I don't know people that don't own decent housing.