Partner has walked out, how do I stand? Cohabiting

[bella140708]

I’m currently living with an ex partner who has basically walked out on myself and our 8 month old baby.
He is very narcissistic/suffers with addiction and controls everything. I’ve been living with him for five years.
He owns quite a successful company and owns the car, house we live in (asset of his company, all paid outright), he pays my wages and pays all the bills.
He is self employed so just takes dividends from the company, so on paper he looks like he is on minimum wage and threatening me that I’ll only get the minimum amount from CSA. Also how do I stand with the house etc. He’s leaving me with nothing, I’m basically homeless.
Can anyone shed any light or give me some advice please as I’m desperate
Thank you

But it is still a choice to get pregnant when not married and behave in a way (give up career) that makes you unable to support yourself should it fall apart.

I agree it is a choice . Just as the choice is made when married to have kids when you cannot support them in the event of divorce . Unmarried women are more harshly judged and stigmatised .

You’d be in a better financial position after a divorce than just splitting up unmarried - 50/50 is the starting point in a divorce so the OP would have a claim on the house, savings and pension. As it stands she’s probably entitled to nothing.

She wouldn't be supporting them on her own, there'd be provision made in the divorce settlement. Not remotely the same thing.

I would judge them equally, married or not. Personal responsibility is not dependent on marital status.

And income wise , then what ? These women end up on uc a lot of the time . Spousal maintenance is rare .

Least you judgement is equal then :) . Good to have the moral high ground .

These women?

And income wise , then what ? These women end up on uc a lot of the time . Spousal maintenance is rare

There is the option to get a job. That's how I support my dc.

Well, quite... The mindset that women are fragile little flowers who couldn't possibly be expected to actually work for a living is just 🤮

Have you forgotten that women are allowed to have jobs these days?!

Most women do have jobs. However, some relationships break down because the couple come under great stress from having a child with a serious health condition or a developmental problem. It's far more likely to be the father who walks out in families like this, leaving the mother to cope on her own. Not everyone has family support. Finding affordable childcare in these circumstances and a sympathetic employer who will accept her taking a lot of time off to deal with issues relating to her child(ren) is not going to be easy. Having the legal right to stay in the family home and to get a share of her partner's assets/income would make life a lot easier while the child is young.

Just one reason why having a legally enforceable contract between parents/partners is a good idea in many circumstances.

Terribly sorry but no. By having his child, you have no rights other than to claim maintenance from him. This is scary, but the answer is unfortunately no. If he agrees to you staying in the house, then do while you look elsewhere. But your comments re his dependency would say to me to go sooner rather than later. You can get free financial and some legal advice via the CAB and benefits office. If he’s also paying you a wage, then you definitely need to speak to them as don’t want to be considered making yourself jobless and homeless.

Your child needs you to get appropriate help. Make
a life for the two of you. I’m 40 years on from leaving due to DV and whilst it was hard, I managed and my children were safe and loved.

Most women do have jobs. However, some relationships break down because the couple come under great stress from having a child with a serious health condition or a developmental problem. It's far more likely to be the father who walks out in families like this, leaving the mother to cope on her own

But that isn't the situation that the Op is in. We can't 'what if' every post or posters are never going to get any advice.

1. This thread is from the beginning of March.
2. If you read the thread in order, I was replying to the post above mine, not to the OP.

Get some legal advice. Go to womans aid they will help you out. Empty his bank account if you can so you have money for you and child. Get a van Get all yours and child's stuff out whilst he's at work. See if a freind can store for you.

Clearing out somebody's bank account is theft.