Partner has walked out, how do I stand? Cohabiting

[bella140708]

I’m currently living with an ex partner who has basically walked out on myself and our 8 month old baby.
He is very narcissistic/suffers with addiction and controls everything. I’ve been living with him for five years.
He owns quite a successful company and owns the car, house we live in (asset of his company, all paid outright), he pays my wages and pays all the bills.
He is self employed so just takes dividends from the company, so on paper he looks like he is on minimum wage and threatening me that I’ll only get the minimum amount from CSA. Also how do I stand with the house etc. He’s leaving me with nothing, I’m basically homeless.
Can anyone shed any light or give me some advice please as I’m desperate
Thank you

There has to be a bright line rule though, at which rights are conferred (in this case, marriage.) This is the only way in which two people become an economic unit and therefore the each party is protected should the other scarper

without that rule, you'll have all kinds of shades of grey (as it were) and the courts would have to involve itself in all manner of domestic setups. A court cannot be expected to determine an equitable division of assets - how many different permutations of partnerships do you imagine we should legislate for? How do you measure equity? Length of relationship? Kids? Who supports who? Previous kids?

If you want the legal protection of marriage, get married. Regardless of whether it's "fashionable".

There’s so much misinformation. I split with my ex, not married, mother of his kids and mortgage in his name, I made a successful claim on the house.

A friend of mine lived with ex for years, not married, no kids, flat in his name and made a successful claim.

It’s not a black and white situation so yes, you need legal advice.

I thought I had a beneficiary interest on the property being with his child
why?

did / do you actually work for his company?

If you dont have any money you should not start a legal battle; my friend in similar circumstances did that and lost lots of money in solicitors fees. As other said you don’t have much rights if you are not married, assuming you are in the UK and not on the deeds for the house or company.

See what benefits you can claim and free support for women, any family support? Start job hunting; but you may have have to look for childcare,

All the best OP

Yes I do

In the UK?

Thank you but it's his company that owns the house, the house isn't in his name as such.

Are you in the UK??

And were you on the deeds of the house, i.e a joint owner - even though you weren't on the mortgage - that may be why?

Getting legal advice is always a good idea, but sometimes there are small but very critical differences in people's circumstances, which can make a huge difference.

I think legal advice can be free for 1st meeting. If not Citizen' Advice. You would be entitled to child support. Is it your house or his?

I split with my ex, not married, mother of his kids and mortgage in his name, I made a successful claim on the house.

On what basis?

Sorry. Just read it's his house. Presumably if he pays all the bills, you must have saved money.

You do have a contract. Just because you’ve not been physically handed a written contract, doesn’t mean you don’t have one. You do. It just means he’s not compliant with employment legislation.

you have worked. He has paid. Ergo contract.

I’m in the UK, yes. And no, I was not on the house deeds all though it was always the intention to add me on, we just split before this happened.

It was always the intention to add me on, we just don’t get round to it. Our finances were joint therefore I contributed to the mortgage.

Agree. There should be a lot more information provided about what it means to be married or in a civil partnership, so people can consider whether it's the right thing for their relationship. It isn't right for everyone, but OP would probably have been better off with some legal protection in place.

The wedding industry has a lot to answer for. A wedding is one day. People seem to put off marriage because they can't afford a big wedding. Priorities are skewed.

OP, if your DC is 8mo, are you on maternity leave? I believe that conveys more employment rights if he tries to terminate your contract.

There has been no victim blaming at all. OP isn't responsible for her partner's behalf but being left financially high and dry is entirely on her. Plenty of women find their partner behaves the way OP's have but they've already taken responsibility for their own security.

Facts are minimum child maintenance only and truthfully he might not pay it but that's not a reason to stay. Find out what benefits you're entitled to. You will likely need to work FT which is hard but possible and plenty do it.

I don't see how this is different from what other posters are saying.

Taken responsibility or got lucky their partners went down on one knee ? A lot of the time it’s just luck . Men want to marry you or they don’t . You can only really walk if they don’t.OPs partner is a shit and it should be taught at school what marriage really means for a woman.

Nobody has to have a baby without being married if they don't want to. A woman can build up a good career before having a baby and go back to work after to protect herself. Or choose not to have a baby without marriage. Or choose to live separately and not provide the benefit of a 'wife' without the legal protection. So many women don't do this because they don't assert themselves and wait for men to make decisions about their lives. Women need to be shaken up.

The OP isn’t a ‘victim’. No crime has been committed. She clearly knew that she wasn’t a co owner of the house. Her error was to incorrectly assume what her legal rights would be in the event that they split.
OP, please arrange a consultation with a solicitor because they can advise you about your rights. Currently you’re likely in complete shock - if your ex attempts to have you evicted from the house, you need to contact the council as you will be deemed homeless. If you leave of your own accord, then you will be deemed to have made yourself homeless voluntarily so will not get help in finding a rental.
If you feel you can, meet with your ex to discuss what’s going to happen moving forward. I would hope that he would not want his child to end up in a grotty bedsit when he’s financially secure!

Unless you're married you're entitled to nothing.

It's getting to the point where this needs to be taught at school.

Taken responsibility or got lucky their partners went down on one knee ? A lot of the time it’s just luck . Men want to marry you or they don’t . You can only really walk if they don’t.

Yes, that's right. You don't have to be with a man who won't give you the legal protection of marriage.

It's nothing to do with luck at all. It's not like people are assigned partners like at a barn dance. You choose them,

Taken responsibility or got lucky their partners went down on one knee ?

Taken responsibly as in worked/built a career, provided for themselves. In other words, not relying on a man at all.

People CAN be entitled to a share or beneficial interest if;
There is a trust drawn up
They have been paying the mortgage (with proof)
They have put capital into the house or added to its value in some way, e.g built an extension, done big renovation / DIY improvements.

Are you in England / Wales OP?

Scotland does recognise some cohabitation aspects but not so called common law marriage.