Partner has walked out, how do I stand? Cohabiting

[bella140708]

I’m currently living with an ex partner who has basically walked out on myself and our 8 month old baby.
He is very narcissistic/suffers with addiction and controls everything. I’ve been living with him for five years.
He owns quite a successful company and owns the car, house we live in (asset of his company, all paid outright), he pays my wages and pays all the bills.
He is self employed so just takes dividends from the company, so on paper he looks like he is on minimum wage and threatening me that I’ll only get the minimum amount from CSA. Also how do I stand with the house etc. He’s leaving me with nothing, I’m basically homeless.
Can anyone shed any light or give me some advice please as I’m desperate
Thank you

Lots of women don’t have a career but their man is decent and won’t leave them . They are lucky . But all women need some financial independence .

Which bits, Temple? I live here and am totally unaware of the finer points especially if children are involved ( I've never really needed to be, fortunately)

OP problem is that she “thought” she had a beneficial interest because she had his child

I wish they taught this stuff in schools
exactly what marriage ( and not a bloody wedding ) means

good and get legal advice, you can sometimes book a free 30 minute consultation, don't just take what lay people state as factual

ask whether you can stay living in the house ? how would he remove you and the child from the house? Get onto CMS as even at NMW he would still need to give you a share of £23k nearly £24k a year

Apply for U.C. and council tax relief - if he has left the house and living somewhere else presently

Section 28 of the 2006 (Scotland) Family law act. Co-habitees can seek to redress financial balance if they can prove that they were economically disadvantaged (e.g by giving up a career for childcare) while the other partner was advantaged as a direct result. E.g they were able to work more in such a way as to increase income over what they could have without the SAH partner.

Scotland threw out the legal acknowledgment of common law marriage in 2006 but put a few things in the new act. I don’t think they have been abolished?

She didn’t give up her career. He’s been employing her. It’s right there in the OP.

And the house is wholly owned by his business, i.e. there is no mortgage so OP hasn't been paying towards it, and it's a business asset, which it seems extremely unlikely that she can establish that both of them intended for her to own a share of it, which is what would be required to claim a share legally.

It is! Honestly. It absolutely is. Whether people remember it, were actually in the lesson attendance is that poor nationally atm, or they think pshe isnt important, which often gets reinforced at home, so dont listen is a different thing. But marriage is most definitely statutory curriculum.

this is from the governments ‘by the end of primary pupils should know’ document:

• that marriage represents a formal and legally recognised commitment of two people to each other which is intended to be lifelong

formal and legal.

maybe if parents didnt keep telling their children that marriage is just a piece of paper, or get shirty with staff teaching about marriage, they might pay more attention to that lesson in class which states that ‘piece of paper’ is legal rights.

Thankyou

https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/if-you-were-living-together/your-ex-partner-is-trying-to-make-you-leave/#:~:text=If%20you%27re%20named%20on,called%20an%20%27occupation%20order%27.

this might be useful information to read

If you're not named on the deeds or tenancy agreement, you might feel you need to stay - for example, if you have children who live there.
You can ask the court to decide who will stay. This is called an 'occupation order'. If you've already left, you can apply for an occupation order to get back in. It's free to apply.
The court will consider your circumstances, your ex-partner's and any children living there to decide who should be allowed to stay in your home.
An occupation order usually only lasts for 6 months. You might be able to renew it but this depends on your circumstances. You can find out about your long-term options when you separate.

This part might be useful in the short term

Ok. Not a great situation.

Get legal advice. Yes it will cost you but not for the first hour. They are usually free. Get all your finanacial records. Write down dates of when you had your child, if you took time off for your child and this could have a negative affect on your career. For instance, he works full time and pays private pension, you can't work full time and can't afford to invest in a pension.

Some solicitors will use this to get a better payment from him.

Use that free hour of legal help to weigh up your options.

https://www.gingerbread.org.uk/find-information/housing/housing-rights-separation/

Gingerbread also has some information on this

The mythical free hour of legal advice strikes again...

You need to pay for legal advice. It's very unlikely that you will be entitled to the house. Having a child with someone unfortunately doesn't afford you the same legal rights as marriage. Marriage is an agreement between two parties to join their lives and finances, having a child doesn't do that.

I assume the house is owned by a limited company in which case the argument about having paid towards the house is a none starter.

He is being very cruel but the law supports that.

Does he actually want to make his child homeless? I get that he doesn’t appear to be decent but what does he actually expect you and your child to do? Has he made any suggestions? Would he pay your first 3 months rent somewhere until you got on your feet? Have you got family to go to?

Also, I don’t think he can just fire you.

It is almost like laws were made to safeguard men’s property and everything else was an after thought

Op, so sorry this is happening to you. Can you confirm of you are in the UK. The reason I ask is because of this comment you made.

I thought I had a beneficiary interest on the property being with his child

Regrettably without marriage, in England, you have no protection for housing. You are relying on your ex partner generosity.

This might be the lowest point but trust that you can rebuild your life financially. I know it won't be easy, especially with a young baby but life can get better

The mythical free hour of legal advice strikes again...

Not only that, but you can use it to go after his pension, because you compromised your career. That's a divorce settlement. You can't get divorced from someone when you were never married to them.

@bella140708 Could you present as homeless to your local council? How many days or weeks has he given you to remove yourself from his property? Is he going for 50 50 custody? He could afford to perhaps pay for a nanny while you work ?

@bella140708 Have you started looking for a new job yet ?

I think it needs to be

You say he has walked out on your child but what is the actual situation? Are you assuming that by leaving you, he is leaving your child but maybe he is actually intending to be the primary carer (especially since he has a home for the child) or is he looking for splitting time with you?

It is almost like laws were made to safeguard men’s property and everything else was an after thought

The law works the same if the property belongs to a woman. You sometimes see on MN a woman being advised not to marry her partner if she owns a property and he doesn't.

It's getting to the point where this needs to be taught at school.

Adults making major life decisions should inform themselves about the implications, not rely on remembering something they were taught at school maybe ten years or more ago, which might have changed since then, or be different from what they were taught if they've moved to a different part of the UK.

Stay in the house, you will need to be actually homeless to get house

Also it will take him ages to get you out since you work for the company and it owns the house