How do people afford to live in London?

[galwithkids]

What it says in the title really..
We live in a 2 bed flat with our 2 DCs (4m 3m) in London zone 3. I love our area, I love London and I don’t want to move away. However I keep wondering if everyone around me is making more money that us to be able to live comfortably? Both me and DH work full time in demanding jobs and we bring home approx £9000 net. Our monthly outgoings are £7300. I have tried everything to bring this number down but I am not able to. This is just family basic living expenses, no extras, no commute or car costs, personal
phone or subscriptions not included. I have worked SO hard to bring myself to a point of earning that much, and yet every month I am left without any spare money, I never spend any money for myself, all my clothes are from Primark or H&M, the kids clothes and toys are all second hand, we don’t order take out, the weekends are usually free activities in the park or museums, I don’t save any because there isn’t any left. I feel like I have worked so hard for so long to bring myself to a decent salary level and yet I am not living the life that should come with it. I don’t want extravagant expenses, I don’t mind shopping at Primark. But I would like to have some
savings for the kids’ future, and I have nothing because money is never enough. What am I doing wrong?

May I suggest you get a nanny housekeeper instead and ditch the cleaner -

It's a bit of a luxury OP to have both a nanny and then send child to nursery - unless you can get free hours- isn't there like a community playgroup or something they can go to for company a few times a week - but at low cost??

A nanny housekeeper has plenty of time to do a bit of housework and a couple of hours ironing in these situations and for £38k a year approx -

I used to nanny - and was doing washing , some cleaning and a couple of hours ironing every week and for nothing remotely near what you are paying.

@laclochette totally agree with all that- I used to do playtime at each others places with other nanny's too- look back fondly on that - sometimes go to 1 o'clock club etc!

@Rosesanddaisies1 that mortgage isn't really huge- I have friends paying way more on similar incomes- the childcare however is huge!

Virtually impossible to get an au pair now post-Brexit. They’d need settled status or right to settled status.

Very high mortgage and childcare costs; unless you can reduce that you will struggle in London with the current costs of living.

Difficult but not impossible; my neighbours still manage to find aupairs

You’re making expensive choices for every aspect and then complaining that it’s expensive?

please make it make sense….

Agree. I know I, and many others I know, would dream of having that mortgage repayment. Childcare is the low hanging fruit OP.

100% this comment. The OP strikes me as a bit bad with money tbh. I have a friend in banking on 300k (but more depending on bonus that year) and he's saved nothing. You can burn through any amount and feel poor if you make cost choices outside of your wealth bracket

That’s nearly £60k of taxable income on childcare!

Are there breakfast clubs and after school clubs at the school. Maybe once your smallest is in school you and your husband could timeshift to use the breakfast club at least.

Then an after school nanny could do pick-ups only?

I don’t think you’re priced out of London but you’re pricing yourself out by making lifestyle choices that you can barely afford.

There’s absolutely no need to be spending almost £4k a month on childcare but you’re choosing to go for the most convenient and therefore expensive option. You could quite easily cut that childcare bill in half using school wraparound care and a nursery.

A cleaner is also a luxury. Most people clean their homes with children at home, when they’re in bed or you get them to help out or stick them in front of the tv for a bit.

I get it OP, life in London for working parents is really hard and you are not alone in feeling the way you feel. But I do agree with previous posters saying you need to review your priorities and make some cuts. You don't need a cleaner. If you really can't live without one, cut the hours. There is no need for the whole flat to be cleaned in depth every week, as long as the space is regularly hoovered, tidied and kitchen and bathroom are cleaned, I think that is more than enough (at least it is for my standards). I assume you might have anxiety issues if you feel you couldn't live in a slightly messy, less than spotless place?

I agree with the comments re cutting on childcare too; if you are already paying a nanny for full time hours, then why also pay the nursery? Is there a chance you could leave the office slightly earlier (you or DH) do go home sooner (so the nanny doesn't have to work until 7pm) and be with your kids and then reconnect once they are in bed? This is what I do and lots of parents in my company do too.

Not just the north. I'm in the south, and we pay the 4th highest council tax in England. A band C property here is £2,225 a year, so over £180 a month for a tiny 2-bed semi.

Shit services too, eg no buses after 6pm or on Sundays/bank hols, dreadful roads, libraries only open half a day most days, etc. It nearly all goes on social care and children's services/education.

It's always more expensive to deliver services in a sparsely populated area.

This won't last forever, OP. Your biggest expense by miles is childcare, and that will drop a lot when your youngest starts school. I think everyone struggles when they need all day childcare. My friend ended up better off working 3 days pw instead of f/t. Her childcare costs were less, and although her salary was less too, it was below the threshold for student loan repayments, so she kept more of it.

"This thread is bonkers! Who has 2 kids in a 2 bed flat that's costs over £2k per month." @Sayingitstraight this part is the norm in London