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Original poster

Boyfriend trying to get off Exs mortgage

112 replies

Sjxo92 · 21/07/2023 08:24

Just after some advice if anybody has been through similar??. Been with my partner two years. He split from his wife about a year and a half before we met. So they've been separated 3 and a half years. He's still been paying half the bills and mortgage for the house since he left. Which is leaving him with nothing every month after paying his mortgage, her mortgage and both bills . He's tried speaking to her about coming off their mortgage. He's offered to walk away with nothing to come off it. Even though he's done a lot to the old house it has come to the point that he will just walk away to get his name off it. She's refusing. Saying she's been to lenders who won't give her a mortgage on her own and that if she takes his name off her and their daughter will be homeless. ( He would never see his daughter homeless as he would take her in.. and his exes parents help her out with money as they're well off so they would never see his ex homeless either )... Has anybody been through this and is there any options without going to solicitors?? Obviously they come to a pretty high price which to be fair.. neither of them can afford solicitors fees. He just wants his name off the mortgage and to walk away from the house. Any ideas ? We don't live together so how money doesn't affect me but it's affecting him every month.

OP posts:
Tirediam · 21/07/2023 08:26

Is she not paying anything towards the mortgage at all?

MadeForThis · 21/07/2023 08:26

If she can't remortgage then they would have to sell the house. Ex woul have to rent. Obviously how they split the equity would be up to them.

NancyJoan · 21/07/2023 08:29

You can’t just come off a mortgage, it doesn’t work like that. If she can’t get a mortgage by herself, they need to sell the house and split the equity.

Original poster
Sjxo92 · 21/07/2023 08:30

Yes I think the rent and bills come to around £1000 a month and he's been paying £550 a month since they've split for the mortgage and bills.
Like I said he's offered to walk away from the house with absolutely nothing. Just to get off it .

OP posts:
WandaWonder · 21/07/2023 08:31

Sjxo92 · 21/07/2023 08:30

Yes I think the rent and bills come to around £1000 a month and he's been paying £550 a month since they've split for the mortgage and bills.
Like I said he's offered to walk away from the house with absolutely nothing. Just to get off it .

It doesn't work like that

instantpotnoodle · 21/07/2023 08:32

She has to buy him out and take on the debt, or they have to sell the house. You can’t just decide to “come off” a mortgage.

Original poster
Sjxo92 · 21/07/2023 08:33

She can't afford to buy him out. Just trying to find advice on how he can come off the mortgage without serious solicitor fees.

OP posts:
Easyontheeyes · 21/07/2023 08:33

Have they not divorced? It’s usual to sort the finances alongside the divorce.

Original poster
Sjxo92 · 21/07/2023 08:34

She said a few months ago that she can't afford the mortgage on her own because of her work car.... He mentioned giving it back to work and she said no lol

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Original poster
Sjxo92 · 21/07/2023 08:34

No they haven't divorced yet. That was the next step

OP posts:
drpet49 · 21/07/2023 08:35

He needs to get divorced and get a clean break order. He will need a decent lawyer too.

LolaSmiles · 21/07/2023 08:37

He needs to get the divorce through asap and part of that will involve splitting the finances. I believe it's generally preferred for there to be a clean financial break.

They'll need to sell the house, split the equity however is fair/they choose, and then the ex can either rent or buy using her funds. Your DP can do likewise.

Readyplayerthr33 · 21/07/2023 08:37

There really is no way around this without a solicitor. She isn’t going to agree to anything so he just needs to pull his head out of his ass, get a solicitor and start the divorce process. This will be taken care of as part of the divorce.

GardeningIdiot · 21/07/2023 08:37

Why haven't they started divorce proceedings, 3.5 years later?

MichaelAndEagle · 21/07/2023 08:38

If he starts the divorce process they will need to agree the financials as part of that.
They can agree themselves how they will split things and submit that with the final divorce papers for the court to approve.
If they can't agree then solicitors will advise.
But starting the divorce would get the ball rolling.

Original poster
Sjxo92 · 21/07/2023 08:38

GardeningIdiot · 21/07/2023 08:37

Why haven't they started divorce proceedings, 3.5 years later?

Money unfortunately

OP posts:
HerMammy · 21/07/2023 08:38

It's not difficult, the house is sold, he can either split the equity or let her keep all of it.

Barleysugar86 · 21/07/2023 08:39

The thing is if he's still paying half the mortgage on the property, she likely can't afford it, so why does he think she could if he 'came off' the debt (which isn't how it works but just playing devil's advocate)

If they thought she could afford the monthly payments surely she should start making them all herself if he no longer lives there if he agrees not to force a sale.

If she can't afford all the payments herself she can't afford the house. She will likely have to move or he has to decide he is ok with subsidising her.

Blinkinbloodyhayfever · 21/07/2023 08:40

He needs to be taking to a solicitor about a divorce and financial order. Honestly until he has actually got a divorce in process I wouldn't touch him with a barge pole.

TheOrigRights · 21/07/2023 08:43

They have to do what most (ex) couples do - one party buys the other out (with advice from solicitor) or they sell the house (with advice from solicitor), and they file for divorce (with advice from solicitor). They both sound very immature.

Original poster
Sjxo92 · 21/07/2023 08:45

TheOrigRights · 21/07/2023 08:43

They have to do what most (ex) couples do - one party buys the other out (with advice from solicitor) or they sell the house (with advice from solicitor), and they file for divorce (with advice from solicitor). They both sound very immature.

Oh goodness lol. I've never met her but my boyfriend is just skint and so is she so that's why neither can afford solicitors fees lol. I will get him to read all these over the weekend though !!

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onlylovecanhurtlikethis · 21/07/2023 08:45

Does he also pay CMS as if he isn't then he isn't technically paying the mortgage he's paying her CMS and she just happens to use it to pay the mortgage?

He'll need to take her to court to force a sale - he needs to get the divorce in motion - it doesn't cost loads of money - mine was done for less than £1k - £600 application fee and then £400 for solicitor to submit the financial consent. You can fill in all the forms yourself

HeddaGarbled · 21/07/2023 08:47

He would never see his daughter homeless as he would take her in

If either of you genuinely think this is the answer to the problem, then you have both had an empathy bypass. You think it would be OK to make the mother of his child homeless and then take her child off her because she’s homeless?

This married couple need to get divorced and reach a proper financial arrangement, which will involve the division of assets and paying of maintenance. He won’t necessarily need to do it through a solicitor but he does need to do some serious research and work through the legal process correctly.

Just Google how to divorce and how to settle finances in a divorce. The information is all out there.

stayathomegardener · 21/07/2023 08:47

"He would never see his daughter homeless as HE WOULD TAKE HER IN"
I dump this guy on that statement alone, he can't force his ex into a sale and swipe his daughter. The ex needs appropriate housing provision to continue living with her child.

Hopefully I've completely misunderstood the situation and apologies if so.

Original poster
Sjxo92 · 21/07/2023 08:47

onlylovecanhurtlikethis · 21/07/2023 08:45

Does he also pay CMS as if he isn't then he isn't technically paying the mortgage he's paying her CMS and she just happens to use it to pay the mortgage?

He'll need to take her to court to force a sale - he needs to get the divorce in motion - it doesn't cost loads of money - mine was done for less than £1k - £600 application fee and then £400 for solicitor to submit the financial consent. You can fill in all the forms yourself

Hello. Yes so child maintenance is included in the 550. Not sure how much though. I just know he pays 550 every month for child maintenance. Part of the mortgage and bills

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