To be clear, this is entirely my fault and somewhat of a FWP but I am panicking nevertheless at my own stupidity.
DP and I have a shared Credit/Charge card which we run all household expenses on to earn air-miles for holidays. DP is a high earner and although i used to be a high earner, I run our small business taking a minimum salary so that I can spend time with our teenage child before they leave for Uni and I’ve nursed my elderly father prior to his death last year. I may go back into the industry I was in before after they leave for uni but at the moment I rely entirely on DP for money. So not to drip feed, We have been together 20yrs. DP is fair in some respects and splits all available monthly income so we have equal spending money per month. However I’ve become aware he has received substantial bonuses and managed to save a substantial sum of money. He decides when we are going out etc. I have no access to this as it is all in his name. We support DSD’s at Uni as well as our DC. He is very generous with gifts but has no idea how much stuff costs when say he invites friends to stay for the weekend. I was deprived of money growing up and I am hyper aware of being poor so I often cover up when I am short to avoid embarrassment and the shame I felt when I was a child which is silly I know. To date, I have been very proud and not asked him for money so when stuff adds up beyond our household monthly budget I’ve gone without and covered the extra from my ‘allowance’. But I’m also ‘expected’ to show up as a ‘groomed’ for events which obviously costs money. I’ve also got into a situation where I’m in arrears rather than having the money to pay in the current month. Also my own fault. Last year, said card company lost a payment of ours totally several hundred £. They were entirely shit at finding the money with any sense of urgency hiding behind their service level agreements. Since then, their system has credited and debited the same amount at random points but often split across billing cycles so debited in one billing cycle then crediting in the next but as the interest penalty for not covering the entire bill in full is massive I’ve covered the extra. However back in August after a holiday I miscalculated the bill and didn’t realise the cc. had credited the amount lost twice in the same month so I thought I had more to spend. And I spent it on family stuff - DC was starting a new school so it went on new uniform etc. As I previously had the money this was not an issue but before Xmas the cc Co debited back the money and I thought it was a mistake so I didn’t pay it believing I didn’t owe it. But I do, plus the interest. So now I need to pay back the money plus the interest. I am worried sick. I don’t have the money and my low salary on paper means I have no access to credit. My bank has yesterday refused me a loan for the amount. I floated the idea yesterday about the situation but DP has shut down the conversation about it saying ‘we can’t possibly owe them anything’ . He’s right of course. He doesn’t but I do. And I don’t know how I’m going to pay it without incurring further interest on the entire monthly bill. I’ve spent the morning digging out stuff to eBay but it isn’t enough and won’t be in my account by Tuesday when I need to pay it. I’m considering pawning some jewellery I don’t wear every day but I doubt it’ll raise enough. I’ve also never been to a pawn shop.
I don’t know why I’m posting really except to get it off my chest. I deserve no sympathy there are other people with far worse issues than me. But I guess this is my world at the moment and I can’t escape it. I know they’ll probably be LTB comments but this really isn’t his fault. I need to put my big girl pants on and explain how much stuff costs moving I guess. I can’t just go and get a job instantly without raising suspicion.