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Original poster

Asked to work while DH retires

132 replies

haventkilledtheorchidyet · 14/01/2023 20:18

A recent discussion about retirement has surprised me and I wanted to gather opinions.
My husband is 5 years older than me. He has always had a good job earning more than me and as worked full time. I have worked apart from two maternity leaves. We share finances and he has always been cautious but relatively generous I'd say.
We were discussing retirement today and he says he expects to retire and for me to work on for another three years or so.
I was quite shocked as imagined we would retire at the same time. Views?

OP posts:
ArcticSkewer · 20/01/2023 02:14

UsingChangeofName · 19/01/2023 23:20

I don't think you'd consider me to 'be very young' - I hit my 60s next year. We have known about the retirement ages moving from 60 for a very long time. It might only have become reality in recent years, but it has been planned for a long long time.
I'm not expressing "faux amazement" I am expressing surprise at the fact that the OP seems to have just assumed they will retire at the same time, when they are different ages.
I know when I am planning to retire, because we have factored it into our financial planning for many years. I've done reading about pensions and financial investments. We've talked about our plans. We talked about our plans years ago when making decisions about whether we should over pay the mortgage or do other things with income once we got to a place when we had money left at the end of the month. I've been to a retirement planning webinar. I've looked at the predicted amounts I will get if I retire at different ages.

To summarise - neither dh or I "have assumed" anything when it comes to big decisions like retirement dates.

Show quote history

There are actual campaigns by women in your age group and above about the lack of notice, lack of information, lack of advertising about the changes, and lack of time to adequately prepare, including findings of maladministration and pension poverty, with a later than planned retirement .... 'waspies'

bbqchickenandsalad · 20/01/2023 02:33

My PIL have retired together and do nothing but shout at each other.

My dh plans to work til his end as he loves his job so I guess I'll be doing things on my own!

SweetSakura · 20/01/2023 18:00

DH is 7 years older than me. I don't think either of us envisage we will retire at the same time. We like our jobs anyway so are in no rush to retire and I imagine it will be more a case of us each gradually going part time as we head towards retirement.

It would be nice to travel a bit more together but we both get pretty generous leave and can buy more.

He's supported me being part time when the children are little so it all evens out .

luckymummy24 · 20/01/2023 18:47

I'd retire when you are ready. If you have savings they can plug the gap between ending work and the state pension. Life is unpredictable. You can always return to work if you change your mind.

Thisisnotmyname2022 · 21/01/2023 21:02

18 years between my dp and I… he thinks I will retire first. I’ve told him I am game for that 😂.

HamBone · 21/01/2023 21:07

CoffeeBeansGalore · 14/01/2023 20:29

Thst'll be lovely. He can do all the housework and you can come home from work to a nice dinner.

Let’s hope so, @CoffeeBeansGalore !

You're lucky, tbh, OP. My DH (50) wants to retire in the next five years! I have no intention of retiring so soon and I don’t think it’s going to be great financially when he does. At least your DH had kept going longer. I’d stick it out for those extra three years, it’ll be fine.

WombatChocolate · 22/01/2023 14:13

In my mind, the key Q isn’t about ages but what you can afford. OP it sounds like you don’t have a handle on the family finances and have relied on DH telling you what is available or have never really known.

If you can both afford to stop working, then fine. Age is irrelevant if you can afford it and want to stop. If you can’t afford it until your pension pays out, then it might be you need to keep working for some years. If that’s the case, then I don’t think you should be surprised at that fact….more surprised at yourself not having had the conversation previously and found out for yourself what your financial position as a family is.

If you do t understand the finances, ask your DH to explain it to you;

  • how much does he think you need as a couple to live?
  • how much will his pension bring in?
  • how much will yours bring in and when?
  • what other income sources do you have?
If it turns out he can’t answer these Qs, you both need to work on finding out the answers. It’s important you both know.

So, he’s not necessarily unreasonable. What’s unreasonable is that you’ve never looked into this before. But you can now. Information is power.

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