Asked to work while DH retires

[haventkilledtheorchidyet]

A recent discussion about retirement has surprised me and I wanted to gather opinions.
My husband is 5 years older than me. He has always had a good job earning more than me and as worked full time. I have worked apart from two maternity leaves. We share finances and he has always been cautious but relatively generous I'd say.
We were discussing retirement today and he says he expects to retire and for me to work on for another three years or so.
I was quite shocked as imagined we would retire at the same time. Views?

Why did you think that just because he's at actual retirement age, you're magically at retirement age too?

My DH is 20 years older than me, I’ve made my peace that I’ll be working long after he retires 😄😂

I don't know any couples that have retired at the same time. It obviously happens but doesn't seem that common to me.

My husband and I both retired (early) together, but this had been planned for nearly twenty years. Retirement is a big change, not just the financial considerations but lifestyle too.

I love being with my husband for most of the day, however, I know a few couples who have found the adjustment difficult. My Aunt and Uncle actually divorced in retirement. I don’t think people talk enough about what their hopes and dreams are for retirement. It is great that you have started this conversation.

I’m 3 years older than my dh and he’s keen to retire in his 50s, not really decided what I’d do but wasn’t planning on stopping work as I’m in creative arts which is the type of career I thought I’d just carry on doing until I die! He thinks we’ll be off travelling in our 50s. We don’t have pensions though, all our assets are in businesses.

My husband took early retirement in his 50s and I went back to work. He took over the main household duties and school runs. It works really well for us.

Eh? What a stupid assumption? More fool you. You retire at pensionable age, or when you can afford to. To assume otherwise is very silly.

I would go part time - best of both worlds.
Don’t get old before your time.

There is 10 years between us. Of course there will be a difference in when we retire. We have focused on steps that will allow the younger partner to retire at 60 rather than state retirement age of 68.

My OH has already been retired for a year, I could go this year but will lose 25% of my occupational pension if I do. Although he has increased somewhat what he does around the house it is still not 50% and so I am finding myself becoming rather resentful. Can’t go off travelling until youngest finishes school so might as well plod on in work work the next five years 🤷‍♀️

My husband 5 years older than me - we talk/dream of retirement but I’ve never assumed (wished maybe) it would be at the same time. The most we’ve said is I would probably try and drop another day so we can go away on short trips. I’ve told him I’m looking forward to a tidy house :)

When my dad retired mum gave him half the chores he hadn't done for the last 37 years immediately. He decided pt work was better for him after all.

My dh is 9 years older than me, we've sorted out finances so we can retire at the same time... wends going to buy a motorhome and travel across Europe for weeks/months at a time. I've said I'm happy for him to retire before me if we can afford it, but he's said he doesn't want to retire if I have to continue to work

I’m 4 years older than my dh. I partially retired at 59. My working potential life totalled 43 years when I retired. 4 of those years were at university where I also worked part time. I had 1 year maternity leave for my first child and 3 months for my second. I have always worked full time. So I reckon Ive worked about 41 years full time. After retiring, I returned to work 2 days a week and DH dropped 1 day a week.
When I retired DH had a total of 39 potential working years. He had actually worked a total of 30 years FTE due to unemployment, travelling and part time working. He will work for a total of a further 13 years from when I retired. That takes us to an equal number of working years - except I’m still working, have already worked 3 years post retirement and intend to do 3 more until I get my State pension. So in reality I will have worked longer than him by the time he retires.
Nothing’s simple!!

I’m 2 years older than my DH and I expect to retire first. I also earn more and because I didn’t do a masters & PhD , I started contributing to my pension earlier than he did. I expect il have a bigger pension pot and I was planning to try and retire around 63 or 64 but assumed he can’t afford it until nearer 67. I haven’t spoke to him about this yet, I do expect he’ll be a bit put out.

My DW retired at 49, after 30 years as a police officer. I was 43 then and won’t be able do retire until I am 60, and that’s if I am lucky.
However, we still have school age children and my partner takes on the lions share of the children and household stuff - TBH i think i have the easier task! But I do want to retire earlier so we can travel whilst we are both young enough to do so.

What cobblers on this thread. Some unpleasant comments too. Eg he's worked longer-why should you retire.

Do what works for you, and what's affordable, and leave the self righteous to work their arses off.

Do you plan to take your pension early to fund your own retirement or are you expecting your DH to use his pension to fund you? These things need planning and saving for well in advance.

I believe the expert view is that couples should stagger retirement if possible. Adjustment is easier.

But I would expect DH to do the housework etc. if he had massive amounts of time to himself. I think he will retire first because I love my job and he tolerates his. We both love travelling so that might be a push.

You retire when you’re old enough to retire, surely? If he’s older, he retires first.

This. I'm surprised that people think its expected for the younger person in the partnership to retire years later.

My husband retired over 30 years ago when he became disabled. I'm retiring this year at 70. I've only worked part time since I was 60 though, it was a nice balance.

You are so right

I think this makes interesting reading even though it's a bit off track to what the OP is asking (and I hope she comes back)

blog.massmutual.com/post/surviving-retirement-with-your-spouse-

I plan to retire at a similar age to DH, certainly within a couple of years despite being around a decade younger. FWIW my pension pot is bigger anyway.