Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Money matters

Find financial and money-saving discussions including debt and pension chat on our Money forum. If you're looking for ways to make your money to go further, sign up to our Moneysaver emails here.

Original poster

Can we afford for me to be a SAHM?

116 replies

RedRobyn2021 · 12/08/2022 12:40

We only have 1 child but would like more, we also have a dog to look after and 2 cats.

My partner earns £30K before tax

We own our car outright

Don't have any debt other than our mortgage

Do live rurally so need to drive everywhere, 10 minutes from the nearest town.

Mortgage payments at the moment are £675 although we could try to reduce this if we can't manage

What do you think?

I'm not going to have a job by the end of this year and due to a change of circumstances my mum won't be able to help me with childcare anymore. I'm currently working part time 3 days a week and I'm earning on average between £1000-1300 per month depending on commission. So this would be gone.

OP posts:
ingratitude · 12/08/2022 12:41

For me and my family that would nowhere be enough. But depends on your expectations of standards of living though

Anniefrenchfry · 12/08/2022 12:42

How you worked out the benefits you will be entitled to, as I don’t think you can cope easily on that so the government would have to step in and support you as a low income family.

PearGrapeApple · 12/08/2022 12:42

What would childcare costs be if you continue working?

I think you potentially could afford to be a sahm given your financial circumstances

Emeraldopal · 12/08/2022 12:42

I’d try for another then consider it

Hugasauras · 12/08/2022 12:49

Our mortgage is exactly the same, we have two young kids, a dog and a cat, and we certainly couldn't afford it. Utility bills are about to double - for us that's coming up to £500 a month just for that.

Fill in the MoneySavingExpert budget spreadsheet to see what your expenditure. This will also account for stuff you don't think of as a monthly payment but which needs to come out of somewhere: car maintenance, haircuts, birthdays, Christmas, clothes, dental treatment, etc.

FourTeaFallOut · 12/08/2022 12:50

So, 24k after tax, 16k after mortgage - leaving £1.3 to pay council tax, water, petrol, energy, food, house/ car maintenance, clothing - In a climate in which inflation is going through the roof. It just seems like a vulnerable position to put yourself in.

Hugasauras · 12/08/2022 12:50

And I don't think with one person earning £30k you will be entitled to anything other than child benefit. Happy to be proved wrong though!

CDD1992 · 12/08/2022 12:52

I wouldn't bank on your mortgage going down any time soon
Rates are rising, as are the costs of every bill and general day to day living. I wouldn't say taking a pay cut now is the best decision unless you can comfortably afford it. Don't bank on things getting cheaper so you can manage because they aren't going to.

Littleraindrop15 · 12/08/2022 12:53

personally you would be stretching yourself very thin.

FourTeaFallOut · 12/08/2022 12:54

Emeraldopal · 12/08/2022 12:42

I’d try for another then consider it

Is that a joke?

MidnightMeltdown · 12/08/2022 12:55

No way. 30k is barely enough salary for 1 person, let alone a family.

Lavender2021 · 12/08/2022 13:01

I don't think it's enough and you have gotten used to your current lifestyle.

Do you have one pot everything goes into currently or own accounts.

I have my own account so can buy stuff I want or a treat for my daughter without feeling guilty I'm just spending all my husbands money.

Our mortgage is less and my husband earns 50k plus and life would be much different if I didn't work (nursery fees take up most of my pay but I still get some fun money). I tend to save for our holiday.

You would need to factor in a private pension as you would lose your work one.

Saving each month towards the car incase it needs fixing or replacing and to pay for car insurance and mantaince.

House repair.

You could always try for a month to not touching your income other than childcare and see how you get on.

Do you have much money left over at the end of the month currently?

MakeadealwithGod · 12/08/2022 13:03

Doesn’t sound much to me for a family to live on but Maybe with top up benefits you could manage.

StClare101 · 12/08/2022 13:17

No way.

rainbowandglitter · 12/08/2022 13:19

Life would be miserable for us on that salary so I wouldn't.

rainbowandglitter · 12/08/2022 13:20

It also sounds like you're not married which puts you in a very vulnerable position.

Overthebow · 12/08/2022 13:22

No I don’t think that’s enough, especially with bills rising. How much are all your bills currently?

greywinds · 12/08/2022 13:28

Do you have time to wait for the second child? If you are under 35, I'd concentrate on your job first, especially if not married.

It's doable but why scrape by under tonnes of pressure if you don't have to. If you're 35-40 and want another child I'd say go for it, but you still need a career plan even if you're taking time out.

ImWell · 12/08/2022 13:32

Have you identified where exactly you are able to cut circa £1,200 per month out of your current spending / saving?

If you are already saving that amount monthly then it’s not such a problem, but if you are saving less than that then you really need to understand exactly what you are spending now that will have to be cut out entirely.

chubbachub · 12/08/2022 13:33

I would be cautious OP. Mortgage rates are set to soar along with energy bills etc.

I've just become a SAHM but dh is on 40K plus a bonus of around £3k in April. Our mortgage is only £222(ex council house)

We have minimal other outgoings as like you, car is second hand and owned outright etc, but even still we are cutting back on shopping costs/days out etc.we went from 2 cars to 1.
the only extras we have on top of standard bills is a couple of streaming services (no sky etc) and the kids clubs like Swimming lessons, Cubs and karate.
We have 3 kids and it's not tight yet but we are aware it easily could be and are cutting back as much as possible to be able to have savings.

We decided for me to be sahm due to my husbands hours would mean childcare for the 15m old (older two at school) , but also the cost of childcare for summer/Christmas/Easter holidays for all 3. We have no family support at all so I am taking a couple of years out. Luckily my job is one I can walk back in to and have been told so by my employer.
We dont claim any benefits apart from child benefit which we save for the kids in their accounts. I will go back to work either when toddler goes to nursery age 3 or dh changes job to dayshift where I can go back to working evenings or weekends.

So far it's working well for us but please consider everything as your financial outgoings could vary greatly in the coming months.

Original poster
RedRobyn2021 · 12/08/2022 13:35

Overthebow · 12/08/2022 13:22

No I don’t think that’s enough, especially with bills rising. How much are all your bills currently?

Electric is currently £135pm but will definitely go up in the winter

For heating we are on gas bottles and for 3 of these at the moment it costs £225

I'm the winter we would go through 1 of these in about 3 weeks, we have a fire too. In the spring and summer, we don't use much at all.

Council tax is £150pm for 10 months

Water is free as we are on spring water

OP posts:
Original poster
RedRobyn2021 · 12/08/2022 13:36

ImWell · 12/08/2022 13:32

Have you identified where exactly you are able to cut circa £1,200 per month out of your current spending / saving?

If you are already saving that amount monthly then it’s not such a problem, but if you are saving less than that then you really need to understand exactly what you are spending now that will have to be cut out entirely.

Yes that's sensible, ok I will try to do a spreadsheet

OP posts:
Original poster
RedRobyn2021 · 12/08/2022 13:36

greywinds · 12/08/2022 13:28

Do you have time to wait for the second child? If you are under 35, I'd concentrate on your job first, especially if not married.

It's doable but why scrape by under tonnes of pressure if you don't have to. If you're 35-40 and want another child I'd say go for it, but you still need a career plan even if you're taking time out.

Im 31

OP posts:
Hugasauras · 12/08/2022 13:37

www.moneysavingexpert.com/banking/budget-planning/#planner

This one is really good

Youcancallmeirrelevant · 12/08/2022 13:38

If you're not married then no.

Swipe left for the next trending thread