Can we afford for me to be a SAHM?

[RedRobyn2021]

We only have 1 child but would like more, we also have a dog to look after and 2 cats.

My partner earns £30K before tax

We own our car outright

Don't have any debt other than our mortgage

Do live rurally so need to drive everywhere, 10 minutes from the nearest town.

Mortgage payments at the moment are £675 although we could try to reduce this if we can't manage

What do you think?

I'm not going to have a job by the end of this year and due to a change of circumstances my mum won't be able to help me with childcare anymore. I'm currently working part time 3 days a week and I'm earning on average between £1000-1300 per month depending on commission. So this would be gone.

fair enough, there is a middle ground. my slum comment was perhaps too black and white.

however, i did miss 1 thing off my list which needs to be mentioned, and which Anothernamechangeplease did ... if the DD that the OP has wants to go to uni, have a helping hand in life (PLENTY of kids born into rich families have this, and their generation will be filled with have and have nots to a greater extent than in ours!)... she needs to add "saving for DD" into the mix.

i really think this type of "longer term" financial planning is so easy to miss when it comes to can i live in XYZ income.. there's a difference between paying your short term bills, vs being financially secure.

that's all :)

fair enough, there is a middle ground. my slum comment was perhaps too black and white. And massively offensive

I live in Scotland and it would be a miserable existence. Always skint and you would not have any savings. It's literally throwing the family into poverty

Also your family would be surviving, not thriving. You need savings, pensions, insurances etc.

It doesn't matter if you are married or not married - never depend on anyone to support you - this makes you far too vulnerable - always earn your own money.

This!! No one knows what the future holds. Women need financial independence

I’m 20 years older than you OP and facing a massively reduced pension having worked part time for many years to look after DC. I’m married though, so at least our assets are joint.

From where I’m looking if you can’t continue with paying into a private pension of some sort you can’t afford to be a SAHM.

You would be crazy to give up your financial independence and future pension to be fully reliant on a boyfriend.

especially when you have a job that covers your childcare bill comfortably and leaves you with a good amount extra and no great pressure to have baby 2 biological clock wise

More importantly than whether you can afford it is are you financially putting yourself into a very vulnerable position?
No pension contributions - at 31 you don’t see that as an issue, at 57 I do;
Will you be able to return to work easily in a few years?
Do you have your own savings or what is sometimes called on MN “a running away pot”? I appreciate no one likes to imagine their relationship will end but it could. How would you survive?

Definitely think about how this will impact your pension! How long would you plan to be out of work for?

This would be very silly. Being a SAHM is a very vulnerable position to put yourself in even if your partner earns shed loads. £30k is scraping by for most people. You don't say if you're married so I assume you're not. You should never be a SAHM if you're not married.

And then there's the fact that the cost of living is about to go through the roof.

Get married and/or continue working.

I’d look at remote jobs in your position and there are plenty more available now than before. I earn a similar salary to you no work remotely from home. It makes my life a lot easier to manage and I am contributing to the household.

www.charityjob.co.uk/?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIj4u497Tf-QIVgp7tCh2kEQuiEAAYASABEgLULPD_BwE

If I were you I’d concentrate on your career, build up savings and overpay on your mortgage. I wouldn’t have another baby until how the cost of living crisis is going to affect you personally is more clearer.

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/living-together-marriage-and-civil-partnership/living-together-and-marriage-legal-differences/

book a registry office wedding and secure your position, it can be done for around £200. Do a simple registry wedding and a party can be later, you’re in a vulnerable position.

I am a SAHM, my DH earns junt under 30k too, So similar circumstances to yours. Our mortgage is lower though at around £470 a month.

I think you might struggle, especially with the increases that are looming. It is tight for us, we have a set monthly budget and we make sacrifices because me being at home and available for the kids is the life that we want but we don't have many luxuries and that fine for now, it's the decision we made. I think before deciding you need to sit down and do the maths to see if it's doable.

I think it would be very tight with the cost of living about to soar. Don't forget that you will miss out on pension contributions and it's hard to get back to work after a break, I've been a SAHM and I found getting back to work was hard and I had to take a pay cut. It's very difficult, the extremely high cost of childcare means that a rising number of women are leaving the workforce after having a baby as sometimes you are actually paying to work unless you have a highly paid job.