Rent for adult child

[Whatshouldmynamebe321]

I would appreciate finding out what parents charge their adult children in terms of rent?
I feel I need to start charging my dd now she has left college and is working, but it feels mean! I know it will help realise the costs of living and I will save a portion of it to return to her as a deposit on a house.
I was feeling a third of her income maybe appropriate.....what do others think/charge?

It is recommended (I think I read it on Martin Lewis years ago) that they pay a third of their nett income, as this is what it costs on average for someone to pay rent/mortgage in their own place.

However, it doesn't stop you (if you can afford it) putting some or all of it into savings for a future house deposit for her. When our dd lived at home we didn't actually charge her as she was genuinely saving hard for a house herself.

I've just realised I could've answered with "I agree with you" 😂

It depends on all manner of factors and on here you'll get answers that range from 'I could never charge my child to live in their home' to 'I've lost £x in TC now they're a working adult and I need the money to pay the bills' and everything in between.

She should definitely be paying her way - think about how much she costs in terms of food, laundry, hot water for showers/baths, the second adult for council tax purposes if you're a single parent, that sort of thing.

If she's working full time on a proper wage, she's probably got quite a significant sum coming in, so she certainly should be using a decent chunk of it to contribute towards her living costs and not spending it all on luxuries.

Maybe think of it in roughly quarters - a quarter for board, a quarter for her essentials - transport to work, mobile phone, a quarter for luxuries, including if she spends a lot on clothes, has a car on PCP, a high end mobile - if she has expensive/nice versions of these, they're beyond 'essential' and a quarter to save for a house deposit/moving out/other bigger purchases. That way she'll still have a decent chunk of spending money but she won't have loads to be spending on anything she wants without thinking about it.

But it depends on what she earns. There's quite a difference between 35 hours a week on NMW for an under 25 and a graduate salary of £25/30/40k+. Also her essential expenses, eg if she works shifts in a job 20 miles away so can't use public transport so needs a car compared to her job is a mile away and she walks there.

My DD earns in the high £20k+ range and is 26.
She pays us a nominal £50 per week and does her own food shopping, cooking and clothes washing. Also runs a car.
She works for a financial institution and is pretty savvy about saving for a house deposit, pension etc.

I reckon I break even (just) on charging DS £250 a month. That's good and contribution to bills. He also buys the family the odd takeaway and will do top up shops. Actually, thinking about it with current energy increases, that might not be enough.
There's no rent element, and he pays for his phone and Netflix .
This was agreed by us with a view to him being able to save.

I think I need to start charging mine but it's so hard and I agree it feels mean. Ds1 is barely here, does not eat any meals with us, so literally just sleeps and showers here. Ds2 is doing an apprentice and does not get paid much but does save. Lots of their friends get charged £300- £400 a month and they are horrified.

I think a third is really harsh.

I think the only thing that causes them to realise the cost of living is moving out.

Returning it for a deposit is really nice.

It depends on your set up. If you're cooking meals and doing laundry you can probably expect a contribution. Or you could ask they do this themselves which I would suggest is far more valuable a lesson for them on living independently.

I 'charge' mine £250 a month.

Ds18 pays us 20% of his income, 50% goes in his savings account (his choice) and then he is left 30% do do whatever he wants with. We decided to go down the % route as he is in retail and overtime varies.

He understands that we lost income by him dropping out of collage (Tax credits and cms) and is happy to contribute to the household.

I think this is why I find it hard to ask money form mine. We haven't lost anything apart from child benefit and that was years ago as they are 22 and 20 now. Also mortgage free so it's not like we have mortgage or rent to pay, so I think I would just feel like I was profiting from them being here. I guess with gas and electricity going up I might ask a nominal amount to cover that.

DS pays £300 per month and that includes everything. I pay for him to be insured on my car, all food, toiletries etc. He moaned at first, but we haven't increased it in 2 years, he has no student loan (we paid his uni fees) and WFH, so no commuting costs etc. He'd like to move out but every time he looks at the rental situation he realises he's on to a good thing here. He's saving well, so once he knows where he is likely to be based long term, he would like to buy.

Oh and £300 is way, way less than 1/3 of his net income. I think 1/3 would be a bit mean. I'm not out to make a profit from him.

DD1 earns 26K a year and pays £240 a month so is left with plenty to save and go out etc. She has her own en suite and her boyfriend stays over sometimes as well. To rent a room in a private house share is £650 a month in our area. I don't think adult children living at home should live rent free.

When I first started work I paid a third. It left me with enough to save and go out as well, and I didn't consider it excessive considering I was getting all my meals (and actually all my laundry done even though I'd happily have done it myself, lol), no utility bills to pay, etc.

I suppose if someone is on a really low wage and/or trying to save for a deposit or a course or something, a third might be a bit steep. But relative to the cost of living and if it includes meals etc, I think it's reasonable in principle.

My dd pays me £500 a month, she still has loads of money left, plus savings.

I paid 10% of my monthly wage (I appreciate this was between 13 and 10 years ago ages 18-21) but I also paid towards the food shop every week, think it was about £20 of a £80-100 shop, and bought other stuff I wanted.

I don't charge mine because they are saving to buy a house. They buy their own food and we have a family take away night once a week where we all take a turn at paying. One of them runs a car, the other just uses public transport but I think the cost of each over a month is probably similar.

Absolutely zero. I think it's ridiculous that parents charge their children rent! It's their home for goodness sake. When did your child become your lodger 😡

Ds pays £225 but I will save this for him if I can. If he gets a payrise I will ask for more.

I think it's important they pay something because that's what adults do and it teaches them reponsibility for themselves. How much depends on what is included. Mine is probably higher than some people's but that includes medical insurance, phone plan, petrol, use of a car and I help them with some expenses. In the end, they still cost me more than than they pay me.

I paid £50 a week to my parents in 1988.

I mean per month

I agree with 1/3. If they are no longer in education, they need to have realistic financial obligations.

I think it's important they pay something because that's what adults do and it teaches them reponsibility for themselves. How much depends on what is included. Mine is probably higher than some people's but that includes medical insurance, phone plan, petrol, use of a car and I help them with some expenses.

I feel they would learn more responsibility by paying their own phone, petrol etc

Just answering from the adult child perspective…I left home at 24, my sister left home at 18.

As soon as we were working we paid 1/3 rent, encouraged to save 1/3, and then keep 1/3 for spending money. Family take aways/meals out/holidays were included in our ‘rent’.

We both felt this was completely fair, and I would do the same for my children when they are old enough.