Rent for adult child

[Whatshouldmynamebe321]

I would appreciate finding out what parents charge their adult children in terms of rent?
I feel I need to start charging my dd now she has left college and is working, but it feels mean! I know it will help realise the costs of living and I will save a portion of it to return to her as a deposit on a house.
I was feeling a third of her income maybe appropriate.....what do others think/charge?

They actually do fill up the tank if they take the car out for longer trips. The phone is on a family plan that has just continued from high school days, so they save money that way. Why make them pay more than they have to? Same with the medical insurance. If they move out they have to get their own as they can't piggie back cheaply on ours anymore. They know the breakdown of what they pay.

I think just saying a third is odd. How much would that be? Have you lost child benefits of others due to their age and them working?

For us, as long as they’re saving a decent amount once they’ve settled into working, we probably wouldn’t take more than £200 per month. We don’t get any benefits though so any contribution, would make us better off.

If they were spending everything every month, I’d take more and put it aside for them. I’d want to give them the chance to save themselves first though, not automatically do it like your suggesting.

My friend was telling me about a couple she knows that takes a third of all 3 of their kids wage ages 22, 26 and 27, just over £2k each month! The oldest two are moving out next month and this couple are apparently not happy at their loss of income. 😬

We have never charged ours , we don’t need the money and they’ve both been good savers of their own accord - it teaches them nothing if I take the money off them and save it for them . They are pleasant to live with , buy shopping etc . My parents never charged me to live at home and I’ve managed to turn into a functioning adult who can budget .

I don’t like the term ‘rent’ for them either. But I think it’s just a word and it’s generally used for a contribution to food and electricity really. Food is expensive and I know we would use significantly less electricity without our kids here, they game and their computers are on for up to 15 hours a day, most of the things that go in the tumble dryer are their things etc . I don’t begrudge it at all but I don’t see the issue expecting them to contribute a reasonable amount towards it once they’re working.

My oldest has already mentioned it even though he’s only just ready to go to uni. I think he’d feel a bit of a twat living completely for free. He mentions how much easier he has things than some of his friends, in an appreciative way, but knows and is ready for more responsibility. It’s not a bad thing.

My DS pays £100 a week board which equates to approximately 50% of all the household food and expenses. It's just the 2 of of us in the house so it's more of a house share. We are both happy with this arrangement and he will also do chores and his own washing.

@Nelliephant1

not everyone is the fortunate position of supporting another working adult. Like many parents, once my son is working/is 18 I will lose income/benefits - child benefit, single person discount on Council tax. I receive a specfic payment for him in the order of £900 a month which ceases when he is 18. Would you really expect me to maintain him to the same standard of living when I am looking at being over £1000 down in income
If he wants to live on more than beans on toast he will have to contribute.

And before you say it, I have taken steps to mitigate against the financial loss, and no I won’t be asking him for £1k a month, but he is going to have to contribute

It's was my dd who said she would pay me £500.

I lived at home until 24 and my parents wouldn’t have charged rent - I would have felt it very mean for them to do so - however I was fortunate that they didn’t need the money with the savings I made I was able to afford (with a good graduate salary) to take them on lovely trips abroad (which I have lovely memories of now - more special as one of them has passed away) and saved and bought a house with the deposit I had saved while being at home. I’ve ended up money savvy despite not having to pay for myself for those few years. However I completely appreciate that not everyone’s circumstances are the same and if you cannot afford to pay for the child living at home then that is a different story and of course they should be expected to contribute - they are adults at the end of the day and there’s no right or wrong here!

@Nelliephant1

erm cos they’re an adult and adults should pay their way. Simple as that. Infantilising them
does them no favours

It depends how much they are earning. I wouldn't charge rent but I'd expect them to be paying for all their personal stuff like phone, transport, etc. My 18 year old son is on minimum wage while he gets a further qualification, he lives in a property I own so doesn't pay rent and I pay utilities but he pays for transport and food, gym etc. No way could he pay a third of his wages just in rent.

We have agreed 25% capped at £100 a week which includes use of the car which he makes use of 3 days a week for commuting and at other times for leisure.

@crackingreward

they should be paying for that themselves as well as rent. Please don’t tell me you pay for adults phone bills and petrol?!?

It’s my home too… and it costs me money to run.

Why should a working adult live for free while another has to pay - in full - for them?

My son pays 20% calculated on his net income. When he turned 18, I lost child benefit, single CT discount and child mtnce from his father. He pays £220 and I’ve “lost” £500.

I lived at home during uni (very common in Australia), and my parents charged me rent. It was brilliant, all money was invested in EFTs and I was able to use it for my first property deposit.

Without "paying" this rent, I would have wasted the money!

I was very lucky my parents were in the financial position to let me live for free at home. Although, years later both admitted it was a plan to keep me around and not to move out haha.

We are not talking about children, we are talking about adults.

When they became an adult.

I will be saving the majority to give back to my dd. I don't receive any benefits therefore no loss in income...its more about the teaching my dd about cost of living and not getting to used to having her whole salary for luxuries.
2k! Yes that would be a lot to lose wouldn't it!

Could you be more transparent with her and say that she needs to give x amount which is a contribution towards her share of the bills and then y amount which she can put into an isa in her name without instant access which is savings towards her own future accommodation. If you wanted to you could then put the x amount in a separate account so if she needed a deposit for rent in a hurry you have some cash to lend her. That way she is saving her own deposit, there is less of an issue over whose money it is and she can see her money increasing.

Reading this thread, I think I’m undercharging my dc!

I never charged mine. I didn't pay my parents either, which enabled me to be on the property ladder at 25 and mortgage free at 50 which i hope my kids are.

Mum said to me ' now you're earning you can pay for your nights out, clothes and toiletries but put the rest away'. I did.

Both my sister and I were on the property ladder by 25.

My sister did the same for her kids and both hers were home owners by 25.

Daughter has saved since she started work at 18 and has enough saved to buy a flat with her boyfriend next year (she will be 24) If I would have charged her rent, she wouldn't be in this position.

Totally agree with this. Unless you are going to take the money off them and save it for them, it is just hindering them from getting on the property ladder. the only problem with one of mine is that he just spends the whole lot so I'm thinking of taking some off him just to save for him. He has agreed this sounds like a good idea.

Afraid I'm in the minority and kind of agree with Neliphant1, I can't bring myself to charge my adult children 'rent', probably why the earliest any of them have left is 27!😂 I started work at 16 and my mother took 2/3rds of my wages whilst she never worked and she would have only been in her 40s then, the only way I could afford my hobby was to take up a second job. The last remaining son just pays the 25% council tax per month that I wouldn't have to pay as a single person if he wasn't there. I have to say all of my sons have been excellent savers and very savvy with money so I'm not convinced taking money off them teaches them how to budget🤷

I will be saving the majority to give back to my dd.

What on earth is the point? Just encourage her to save it herself. People always say it's teaching their kids by charging board but all you are doing is putting pennies in her piggy bank. Allow the independence to do and learn herself.

@Babyroobs
That sounds like a good idea! Thankfully my daughter is very financially savvy - she set up a pension and ISA when she was 19!

My son, I'm still waiting - he's doing his A levels at the moment. Spends as soon as he gets pocket money, £30 a week. Doesn't help that his dad totally spoils him. He's walking around in Prada trainers £300, £700 phone, £100 trousers etc etc and thinks that's normal! I'm wearing second hand converse!!