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Original poster

Rent for adult child

109 replies

Whatshouldmynamebe321 · 24/04/2022 07:41

I would appreciate finding out what parents charge their adult children in terms of rent?
I feel I need to start charging my dd now she has left college and is working, but it feels mean! I know it will help realise the costs of living and I will save a portion of it to return to her as a deposit on a house.
I was feeling a third of her income maybe appropriate.....what do others think/charge?

OP posts:
ancientgran · 25/04/2022 18:15

VeganGod · 25/04/2022 12:09

I don’t think it’s teaching them. It’s just a way of not letting them waste even more whilst they’re being stupid with it. Not everyone responds to lessons being taught, some people seem to need to experience it themselves before they realise.

With your own kids, it’s most likely a combination of both luck and the values instilled in them. My son is 18 and very sensible with his money so far, as is my younger child and I’m hopeful that will continue. We do all the ‘right‘ things to help them learn good financial habits. But I have friends who have done all the ‘right‘ things too and they despair at their kids lack of financial sense. There’s other influences and elements of their personality there, and for some young people, they’re more important, despite all the lessons from parents.

My kids have always been no trouble. I’d like to think it’s down to good parenting but I also know I have very easy, compliant kids. Is that nature or nurture, probably both.

Its best not to be smug and judge others, as you never know what awaits just around the corner.

Show quote history

If people need to experience it themself why not let them experience it? Protecting them from making mistakes isn't letting them experience it and I think mum and dad magically coming up with the savings just teaches them that someone else will sort it out.

I'm not too worried about what's round the corner, I think by 40s and 50s my kids aren't suddenly going to have a personality change with regards to money management. Either way I'm glad I wasn't treating adults like children.

shivawn · 25/04/2022 18:22

My parents never charged any of us to live at home as adults, 2 of us grew up very sensible with money whereas the other 2 are useless. I really dont think the lack of rent to live at home was any kind of contributing factor but then none of us lived at home for long as adults, it's really just been a few months here and there.

I don't forsee myself ever charging my son money if he stays at home for awhile as an adult but he's still a baby now so who knows!

I think families should do what works best for them. I wouldn't judge parents who charge their adult children rent but I also wouldn't judge anyone who lives at home rent free.

daysfilledwithdappledlight · 25/04/2022 18:26

I think it's important that they contribute to the cost of bills and food etc.

However I'd stay making it too real to real life in terms of rent means they'll never be able to save enough to move out!

I'd recommend a balance / discussion / compromise where they contribute to your increased cost of living, but keep rent low or marginal on the basis of them putting money away each month for a deposit etc.

VeganGod · 26/04/2022 00:54

ancientgran · 25/04/2022 18:15

If people need to experience it themself why not let them experience it? Protecting them from making mistakes isn't letting them experience it and I think mum and dad magically coming up with the savings just teaches them that someone else will sort it out.

I'm not too worried about what's round the corner, I think by 40s and 50s my kids aren't suddenly going to have a personality change with regards to money management. Either way I'm glad I wasn't treating adults like children.

Show quote history

They do experience it and spend/waste thousands in the process. This just means there’s something left.

If your kids are sorted, great. Continuing to question others and insist that they’re wrong and that your way is the best and only way, is the only thing that seems patronising here.

Maybe others would disagree with your way of giving adult children a ‘free year’ to get on their feet. It’s not really letting them experience life is it? There are no free years.

If your kids are in their 40s and 50s, they grew up in different times. I’m 40 ish and bought my first house at 22, whilst wasting a fair bit of money. Even the ones earning a decent wage now would struggle to do that in their early/mid 20s if they saved hard. It was much easier to get on the housing ladder back when your kids did. It wasn't all because of your good planning and lessons that they managed to buy a house at 25. They would find it harder now because it is harder now. Who can blame parents wanting to help their kids in this financial climate by saving some of their ‘rent’?

vodkaredbullgirl · 26/04/2022 01:54

God all theses quotes in quotes and more quotes are not doing my eyes any good.

VeganGod · 26/04/2022 02:12

vodkaredbullgirl · 26/04/2022 01:54

God all theses quotes in quotes and more quotes are not doing my eyes any good.

I’m wondering how many it will allow, testing this new site to the max. 😂 It looks dreadful.

vodkaredbullgirl · 26/04/2022 02:44

It looks worse on my phone 📱

Darbs76 · 26/04/2022 08:48

A third is way too high

woodhill · 26/04/2022 11:51

Good point Vegan, yes money went a lot further with decent returns on savings in 80s/90s

I had good money sense when young but was still grateful that dps gave me a deposit for house and some of it was from my "rent".

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