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Original poster

How much should DD contribute?

118 replies

notonmywatch71 · 27/02/2022 16:44

My DD had a baby 6 months ago and has settled into a routine and sorted her finances out . She gets £570 in UC and CHB. What would be a reasonable amount to charge for a contribution to the household? I'm not including rent or council tax
As a single parent myself I am currently working 30hrs a week and earn £240 per week.I can't really afford to pay for her and my DGC. TIA.

OP posts:
Redlorryyellowduck · 27/02/2022 17:25

I guess about £250, is she planning to stay long term? Do you have other dc at home?

LairyMcClairy · 27/02/2022 17:28

Hard to say without knowing the cost of your housing and bills.

FairyCakeWings · 27/02/2022 17:33

Start with 25% of your council tax because you'll have lost that much in discount with another adult living with you.

HMG107 · 27/02/2022 17:34

In your shoes I’d be pricing up if DD could afford to pay 1/2 of the gas, water and electric bills. Then 25% of the council tax if her living there means you loose the single persons discount. Food costs you each cover separately.

Ilikewinter · 27/02/2022 17:36

Well i would say half the utility bills, (i assume shes home full time), especially as your out at work so not using heating etc, and she buys her own food. Your very generous not charging anything towards rent

Flexitarian · 27/02/2022 17:36

Hard to say without knowing the cost of running your household but as close to half as she can stretch to and still have money left for food and nappies.

katepilar · 27/02/2022 17:38

How much does it cost to have her in the household or how much more is it now she and the baby live there? Who pays for the food? If you cant afford to pay for her then her "contribution" is what she needs to spend to live?

Darbs76 · 27/02/2022 19:36

When I had my eldest child and was living at home I was on benefits for the first 9 months before I started at college, later at Uni. I moved out after 18 months but my mum only charged me a token £5 a week. Which is obviously very little, I think I got under £100 a week - probably quite a bit under, my son’s 28 now. My mum was always of the opinion you should charge adult children even if it a small amount so my brother and I both paid minimum amounts. He was working but probably said ‘sister pays £5 why should I pay more’. I’m in a completely different financial situation now nearly 30yrs on and do treat my mum. It was very good of them.

I’d say £50 a month but that’s probably just because I’m thinking of how little I paid but my parents didn’t need the money. If you need her to pay more than ask her. What else will she need her money to cover? Nappies, clothes for her and baby etc. I’d say £100 is very do-able if not £150

User405 · 27/02/2022 19:44

@Darbs76

When I had my eldest child and was living at home I was on benefits for the first 9 months before I started at college, later at Uni. I moved out after 18 months but my mum only charged me a token £5 a week. Which is obviously very little, I think I got under £100 a week - probably quite a bit under, my son’s 28 now. My mum was always of the opinion you should charge adult children even if it a small amount so my brother and I both paid minimum amounts. He was working but probably said ‘sister pays £5 why should I pay more’. I’m in a completely different financial situation now nearly 30yrs on and do treat my mum. It was very good of them.

I’d say £50 a month but that’s probably just because I’m thinking of how little I paid but my parents didn’t need the money. If you need her to pay more than ask her. What else will she need her money to cover? Nappies, clothes for her and baby etc. I’d say £100 is very do-able if not £150

Well that's all grand but the OP specifically says she can't afford to support two extra people.

Original poster
notonmywatch71 · 27/02/2022 21:39

She is just 17 and I don't have other DC at home. I was only going to ask for a contribution towards water gas/ electricity and broadband & food. This comes to about £400 p/m.i don't want to leave her short but equally I don't want to be out of pocket as I've now lost all maintenance/ UC/chb., I planned for this reduction in money for 2 years time ( when she would have finished college ) but she got pregnant so I've already changed my job so I can wfh and earn a bit more and support her new role as a mum.

OP posts:
Cocomarine · 27/02/2022 21:53

She should pay exactly what she’s costing, I think. I wouldn’t charge a 17yo rent. But she made an adult decision to have a baby, so definitely a half share of utilities after the standing charge, 25% of the CT and all the cost of her food. Obviously she pays her own mobile, and all things for the baby.
Has she got CMS?

Bossyboo · 27/02/2022 22:13

I think what your proposing - £400 is fair and right. Your daughter will still have £170 for herself. As young as she may be it's not doable (or fair) in this situation for you to be paying it all and struggling yourself. Smile I say this as a struggling mum and I know how mush we always want to make everything easy and right for our kids!!

GreenClock · 27/02/2022 22:20

I’d say about £200, OP. It makes a fair dent in your bills but also leaves her with something. She should be doing her share of chores too.

If she’s not getting maintenance for the child I’d encourage her to do so if feasible.

Ncwinc · 27/02/2022 22:26

A 17 year old doesn’t have to pay council tax.

PerditaPerdita · 27/02/2022 22:28

All you have actually lost is your council tax discount, and I guess a bit on gas/electricity/water if on a meter.

Personally if my daughter had just had a baby and was sorting herself out, I'd say from her income that she could contribute £150 and buy some food.

Akire · 27/02/2022 22:29

Half of bills and utilities for a start shes at home all day and so costing you more. She would have to pay that on her own place. She should be paying half of all food too plus extra baby bits. You do her no favours pretending all her Uc is pocket money and doesn’t need to be spend the majority of it on basic expenses. No point giving her unrealistic budget where she pays £20 a week and has loads cash to do with as she pleases.

At very least you should have same amount of spending money left as her, I imagine you have very little if paying for everything on a low wage.

LittleBrenda · 27/02/2022 22:32

All you have actually lost is your council tax discount, and I guess a bit on gas/electricity/water if on a meter.

No, OP says "I've now lost all maintenance/ UC/chb., I planned for this reduction in money for 2 years time ( when she would have finished college ) but she got pregnant so I've already changed my job so I can wfh and earn a bit more and support her new role as a mum."

Aquamarine1029 · 27/02/2022 22:32

I think 300 is fair, and she should be expected to also add to a savings account every month. She needs a very hard dose of reality. She's a mother now, and life is expensive. Still treating her like a child will do her no favours.

Fireflygal · 27/02/2022 22:34

Is the father contributing?

User405 · 27/02/2022 22:35

@Aquamarine1029

I think 300 is fair, and she should be expected to also add to a savings account every month. She needs a very hard dose of reality. She's a mother now, and life is expensive. Still treating her like a child will do her no favours.

I agree, she shouldn't have more money then she did when she was at school.

PinkButtercups · 27/02/2022 22:48

Max £200 I'd say.

Especially if she has to bug formula if not BF and nappies.

Enough to help you out but not enough to leave her skint.

PinkButtercups · 27/02/2022 22:48

Buy*

MyDcAreMarvel · 27/02/2022 23:06

If you are including food £200 a month. I can’t see how she would be costing you more than that in food , extra electricity, gas, water etc and she is still a child.

Aquamarine1029 · 27/02/2022 23:10

You also have to insist that she go after child maintenance from the father. He is equally as responsible for this child as she is.

Aquamarine1029 · 27/02/2022 23:12

@MyDcAreMarvel

If you are including food £200 a month. I can’t see how she would be costing you more than that in food , extra electricity, gas, water etc and she is still a child.
She's 17 and chose to have a baby. Her childhood is over. Se needs to face and accept the consequences of her actions and choices. That isn't being cruel, it's teaching her valuable life lessons.